How To Annoy People

How to Annoy People

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Don't use any punctuation marks

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

Sing along at the opera.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"