"Howie?" "Mmm..." "Howie?" "Mmm..." "Howie!" "Mmm?" "D, we really should not be doing this." AJ's voice was shaking and he knew it,  although he was unsure Howie was sober enough to tell. "Why not?" "You're.... you’re drunk." "But so are you." Suddenly, Howie's logic seemed inarguable and AJ doubted he could really deny the man anything at this point. Not now, when Howie's tongue was exploring his mouth and he tasted like champagne and sex sex sex, even though the two of them weren't supposed to go together, were they? No, they weren't, oh! And definitely not now when Howie's hands were--no, wait! Howie's hands couldn't possibly be doing what he thought they were doing, but somehow they were and he was losing control and Howie's hands were and his fingers and--oh God! "Howie!" AJ would have wondered when his brain would start to work properly again, that is, if his mind had been able to form any coherent thoughts aside from Howie's name and his fingers and his lips and Howie's body against his and--no! This was not happening. This could not happen. He was willing it all to stop but nothing of the sort went on. Howie didn't seem to realize that this was wrong, no matter how much AJ had wanted it, no matter how long. "Howie," It took all AJ's will to start using other words, but he would manage. "Howie. You gotta stop." "Stop?" Howie was making doe eyes at him, all innocent and pure. "Why?" "I'm.... you’re...you're innocent. I'm corrupting you, I can't--" "I'd hardly say that you were corrupting me. Your brain exploded, you're confused. It's understandable. Would you like me to explode your brain again?" Now Howie was leering at him. AJ hadn't thought it possible for the man to leer, but that wasn't the kind of look he wanted to argue with. Of course, what he wanted wasn't always what he could afford to do. "Yes--I--no! Howie, you can't! You don't want this! You're not gay!" "I might not be, but I'm drunk. That's close enough." "Howie." AJ finally summoned the strength to push the smaller man off him and spoke in his calmest voice. "You would regret this. You would hate yourself forever. Things would change between us. It would be a horrible mistake." "You're completely right, it would. Now can we worry about it in the morning?" "No, we can't. We can talk in the morning about what made you act like this, because this is not you." AJ willed his voice to stop trembling. "Don't you want me?" "Are you drunk enough to forget my answer?" AJ didn't wait for Howie to reply. "Of course you are, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting on my lap." "Y'din ans'r m'queshon." Howie tried to talk with his tongue in AJ's mouth, and the problem was solved for him as his friend pushed him away. "Yes, I do. But you aren't gay, this would just become a one-night-stand and I like you too much for that." "Really? Do you love me?" "Of course I do. Now will you get off me?" "Alright." Howie leered once more and his hands began to move under AJ's shirt. "No, no, no! I said get off me, not get me off!" "Dammit." Howie disentangled his limbs from AJ's, stood up, and promptly passed out, dead drunk. AJ took a moment to reflect, to take a glance at the beer cans littering the floor around them. He tried to count, but his mind was reeling with alcohol and Howie's closeness. Not to mention his own stupidity. He'd had a once-in-a-lifetime chance with Howie and rejected it. He knew he wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt if they had done it and Howie had regretted it. But he wasn't sure he'd be able to live like this either. Touring would be much more interesting. How could he stand living in such close quarters with Howie now that AJ knew the taste of his mouth and tongue, the way Howie's body felt moving against his and everything else his overloaded senses had gathered from the incident? There was no way he would be able to. So, in the morning Howie needed to remember. And to say yes to AJ. Or to hate him, either way, so they could both get on, or off, as Howie's choice dictated. AJ lifted Howie from the floor and lay his body on the couch. "I'd love you more than she would anyway." AJ gently kissed his friend's forehead. "Now let me move you so you don't choke on your own puke." Silence. "AJ?" Howie was awake. AJ ignored him. "AJ?" "I'm not answering you." "Why not?" "You're asleep." "No I'm not." "Yes you are, shut up." "I'm awake!" "I'm ignoring you!" "But...fine then." Howie shut up and his breathing evened out. AJ began to doze off. "Aje..." "What?" He tried to sound annoyed, he really did. "I got something to tell you." Howie's voice was foggy with sleep. "What is it?" "I'm gay." "No, you're drunk." "That too." Well, what was AJ supposed to say to that? Just about anything would sound like come on. Howie solved this problem after a moment of awkward silence. "AJ? Are you there?" "Ayuh...I, um..." "You hate me?" "No!" "Good, that wouldn't make much sense. Hmm...you love me?" No reply. "You'd've answered if y'din't think I wuz drunk, wooden you?" Howie's words were beginning to slur again. "Maybe." "Y'think you'd b'taken 'vantage o' me?" "Perceptive, are we?" "Aje..." "What?" "M'rry me?" AJ couldn't help but smile. "Maybe in the morning." "Kay." Howie gave a contented sigh and rested his head on his friend's lap, succumbing to sleep. AJ laughed into the darkness. Now he had something to thank those Nsync fans for.