Searching For Randy

Do you know how good it feels to write again?

I haven’t written in months

I haven’t felt anything in months

My heart hasn’t bled like this, in months

I haven’t been suicidal for almost a year

I haven’t felt this low since May

And my last known self-mutilation scar

Is on my ankle

I don’t pop pills anymore

Most of my friends hang out around town

And not online

Did you know that you give me something to write about?

Something to talk about…

Someone to sing to and build my dreams around…

I haven’t found anyone like that since

You’re giving me motivation

I wish more people could motivate me

In the same way that you do

You give me a reason to get out of bed

You give me a reason to go to work

You give me a reason to keep pushing through

I remember all your stories

Your hopes, dreams and goals

I’m not going to throw them away

I’ll keep them and watch them grow

As you kept mine

Attempting to watch them grow

But only watched them wither away

Shoot me out of the sky and call me Brittany

I’m still in love with you

Even after a year

I’ll show you who I am now

And how amazing we can be

Don’t let me down

Don’t let me runaway

I can’t afford to lose you again

I can’t withstand another heartbreak

Just tell me you’re still in love with me

And I think we’ll be alright

Just show me you still want me

And I promise to be right there