No, when I say never, I mean never. I’m not this sweet girl, all that every one can see, 24 hours per day. I told him, Adam, and I meant it, really! Shawn it’s a completely turned page of my history! And... Damn it! It doesn’t sounds me, but please, believe me! – After her scene, Tanya admitted that she only played a role, to a petrified Adam. But he didn’t look surprised or tense. He was calmly gazing her, minding up his sensible lines, he said right then:

Tanya, everybody have heartbreak in youth. The experience of discovering love is too intense. And...You’ve might forgotten him, you’re only sad it didn’t work.

Boy, I think you’re new here. I’m Tanya, nice to meet you! – Both smiled while our girl still was impressed with Adam, her shy and earnest Adam, the one she never heard talking so serious, except during their Power Ranger missions. Yeah, they also use to save the universe, when they’re not discussing relationships in the park. And that’s why they had to go to the Power Chamber. Billy would give them some instructions about the new system control.

Adam, Tanya and Rocky were analyzing hundreds of wires, linking them, to make the final test. This long work, that not demands lots of attention, gave them another chance to talk. Rocky laughed when Tanya told him about Adam’s advice – He just doesn’t talk ‘cause he’s lazy. Only to talk, okay, but lazy, anyway. I grew up with him and I know what he’s able to do. Do you know that three years ago, there was a girl... Hey, stop! – Adam interrupted – I was just kidding! – Rocky said – Don’t remember me that girl... – So Tanya’s curiosity made her ask: Green, you tell me what to do, but which experience do you have? Who’s this girl? I’m getting more convinced I really don’t know you... – And who does? – Rocky replied.

No one. - Adam thought with himself, and before he thought anything else, Billy came to start the test. No, it wasn’t now they would know him.

All alone in his bedroom, listening his favorite song, Jann’s Arden "You don’t know me", Adam was lying, with his head upon his hands, thinking about every word he hears. It was a sad song, but there was a kind of relief there, he wasn’t the only one who ever knew platonic love. That girl Rocky commented, Julie, she had a crush on him. And he hadn’t known what to do. One rainy day, she begged him – One kiss from you and I’ll live my life resigned, because it had sense! – And he, that Mr. Nice Guy he was, dated her, couldn’t let so tender girl suffer. But he did, anyway. The day she found out what only the two of them knew. He loved Rocky. So, she cried, as she read in his diary each deep felling he had for his best friend Rocky. – And I still do. I guess it’s fate. Love him, is my fate. Be with him it isn’t. At least I’m a Power Ranger, so I can be resigned, ‘cause my life wasn’t senseless! –Then he played that song again and again like all the time he faces that he still loves Rocky (and maybe won’t ever stop), ‘cause when he sleeps listening that music, he knows Rocky will creep into his dreams.

It longs to hold you turn

Adam…? Adam! Wake up! If Mr. Robinson catches you sleeping in his class, he’ll dissect you as one of his frogs! Hey, frog! Your ninja power is the frog, don’t you remember? – Tommy whispered nervously, impressed with this irresponsible Adam’s behave. He’s already noticed that his friend some days was completely in orbit, but never discovered why. He was just so peaceful that Tommy couldn’t imagine what kind of problem he’d have. Would it be any trouble caused by Mondo? – Are you ok? Perhaps you should talk with Zordon. – No. – Adam replied. – I’m all right, just had something to think about, a dream I had, and I woke up in the middle of the night… - His mate interrupted – After you tell me, but pay attention, please! Now that Billy’s graduated, we have no one to help us, but ourselves!

Adam went home slowly walking. Hey, why should he act like this, suppressing his happiness? – First of all, I’d lose my best friend. And second, no more reason is needed when the first is that bad! – Anyway, now he was getting different conclusions, full of a misery life. - Ok. Misery is too strong. But they, not Rocky, but they four, they should know! If they’re my real friends, I’ll be accepted! If not, it’s a shame I don’t have people who actually like me. Yeah, I’ll think I’ll do it. But it’ll be too hard… But I must do this! - If he really intended to do that, then he was lucky, because Tommy, Kat, Tanya and Billy were waiting for him, right in the front of his house.

Okay, I need no tests, I’m fine, there’s no evil possessing me! Hey, I think I‘ve got the rights of having my own trouble, uh, like you didn’t have! Tanya, yesterday, had love problems just like me! – Eight eyes looked surprised. – Love? That’s amazing! Sorry we didn’t know, boy, we, we all are ready to help! - The yellow ranger said smiling, felling good because her friend eventually found somebody. And Billy asked, innocently, the fatidic question. – Who’s she? Someone I know? – Adam was like a stone, till trembling, he start to answer quickly and tense. – I’m not in love… I said love trouble by mistake, uh, right, I said, but I can solve it. I can deal with a girl, thanks, but you all have your… Things to… Do… Whatever, you don’t know him, no, you really don’t! – Now his friends were the ones like stones. They four were like the Rocky mountain system. They gazed Adam, pallid, that same Adam, with an Asian face, small black eyes, dark wavy haired, that hair Tanya loved to caress while they’re were sat, chatting at the park. The green ranger, the one they rely. - Him? Are you gay? – Tommy broke the ice. – Before anyone could make things worse, Kat, with her usual sensitiveness, spoke the better lines it was possible. – That’s okay! Uh, people are different, so that’s why they can be friends. They complete each other. And you’re the same. We’re only knowing you better! And it’s a real good thing! – So, she came along, with a cherishing bright in his eyes, hugged him and he held her firmly, finally breathing again, and all he could do was hum –Thanks! – Thank you all! – Then they five laughed as Billy said: - It’s, uh, really… How can I say… Cool! – And had a long talk.

Why he shouldn’t know? – Kat asked. – Kat, he’s my best friend, I can’t disappoint him! – It really should be a long conversation, ‘cause in the other day they were still talking about it at school. He and Kat – And we? Aren’t we your friends? Didn’t we accept you just like you are? – Kat asked intrigued. – It’s totally different, girl! You know, we grew up together! There’s a whole different situation here! It’s different. How many times I’ll have to say this word to make you understand? – Kat stopped, putted her hand in her chin and said: God! You love him! Adam, more you try to hide, more you make it blatant! – He faced the ground, like he was ashamed, and told her low: Then, do you get the reason? Don’t, don’t confide that to anybody, no one! I… You pretend you never heard that! – Kat was astonished – That’s not how things work. – He looked her deep, passed his hand though his hair. - You got the point. It won’t ever work! So, don’t make me lose the most worthy thing I have, his friendship. Never tell Rocky I love him. Better, never tell him anything we’ve talked about since yesterday. – What kind of friendship is based on lies? – Adam went away. He had no answer.

Once more Adam was all alone, listening his favorite song. – Well, it was good. Now I know they’re my real friends, and have people to support me. – But as the music was played repeated times, he started to forget the actual world, and entered into his daydreams. With his eyes closed, he smiled, wondering Rocky kissing him, smoothly, felling his skin, his natural perfume, his warm hands moving though his body, as the kiss was getting more intense and he wanted it to never stop, that totally believable image, watching each Rocky face’s expression, revel inside that deep fantasy. Daydreaming surrounded by music, when he was by himself, was what he liked most to do. Remember of Rocky, that shyly he almost didn’t see, pointing his eyes to anywhere else, his voice, and that funny but irresistible smile. And imagine how amazing it would be if someday, he comes and rescues him from this bucolic life, taking Adam into a love affair. If it happened, he’d never leave this man who still don’t know him.

Adam’s daydreams were over as soon as he heard someone calling his name. And he felt cold inside when he realized that it was Rocky! So many things were floating through his mind while he was looking for the keys. He didn’t face Rocky since all these changes began. Rocky couldn’t notice anything! He opened the door and scared saw Rocky and… Kat! – Did she? I trusted her! I should’ve known nobody could know… - What’s up, Adam? Were you watching "Scream" or something? Guy, forget your Cd’s and let’s take a walk in the sun! – Standing still, he listened to Rocky, and now, relieved, went to get what Katherine forgot there in the day before. – For one minute, girl… - Who do you think I am? C’mon! – Kat answered softly laughing, as Rocky watched confused. – Let’s go! We need some training, Adam. Bye bye, Kat.

After practice some kicks, they sat to rest and chat. – What was wrong that time? Hey, you know I’m always here to help. Did I do something? –Adam gazed him, sweated and serious, deeply breathing. As he was making up a reply, he could felt the warmth that came from him. He was facing the ground, waiting. Adam’s heart was almost aching, thinking how much he loved him. Suddenly, he said impulsive: I’m in love. But only I am. He’ll never correspond me. – Why do you think he doesn’t? Did he say that? You know, sometimes you give up too easily. – Adam stared Rocky, astonished. He was acting completely normal, looking in his face, with no surprise in spite of their friends. Rocky giggled, then start to laugh. – What? Did you really think I didn’t know you’re gay? No, I can’t believe that! I know you very well. You’re my best friend! – Adam lay in the grass and started to laugh too. – Why you haven’t told me you’ve noticed? – Rocky also lay and asked: Hey, why you’ve never told me you are? It’s your decision to come out. Somebody else knows? – Since yesterday, Tommy, Kat, Tanya and Billy. And, ah, Julie! – Oh, so that’s what happened! – And they stayed there talking for more two hours, till the evening. But nor Adam, neither Rocky, mentioned any word about who was Adam’s dream lover.

The sun just was born and Adam went to visit Kat. Among the flowers in her balcony, Kat was glad Adam was happy. He’s never thought things would be so cool when he comes out. She perceived now she could find out whatever she wants from him, his defenses were gone. Being accepted as he was by Rocky was essential. So she asked: There’s something I didn’t get yet. Do you think about getting with him? – In my daydreams. And that’s enough. – Why? – He’d never… - Wait! You don’t know. And I asked if you think about getting with him. – Adam never ever thought like that. In fact, he wasn’t ready for all that. He used to intend to live his life with those secrets. – I… Don’t know. What am I saying? Sure! That would be so good that I’ve never imagined I could happen! – They started to laugh, and surprisingly Katherine made him promise her he’d try. But soon they had to quit talking. It was Saturday and the rangers had planned a picnic. Kat wondered that if Adam talked serious, that would be the perfect situation.

It was a beautiful place, lost around Angel Groove. The green was all over, and which color would be a better sign for Adam? The fresh air, the sun, the flowers and the wind were inviting them six for fun. Or romance. - Yeah, romance, Billy! This place, that came out from "The sound of the music", don’t brings just fun. It’s a perfect picture for love. – Tanya’s right! – Rocky said. – Although I think everywhere is the place for love. – Wow! Mr. Though Guy said that! – Tommy comment made all them laugh but also made Kat gaze Adam carrying a smile of encouragement. In fact, she didn’t actually think it’d work, but for her "yes" or "no" always are better than "perhaps". And since he saw he so glad and free earlier, she knew that was the way.

Minding let them talk, the pink ranger asked Rocky and Adam to get the juice jar that she "forgot" in Tommy’s jeep. It was far away from there, and that’d give time enough. – And take a walk is always a start for romance, or just a serious talk. I hope Rocky’ll be understanding … - But in all the way, Rocky was quiet and earnest. That scared Adam. They got the jar, them Rocky sat in the ground, behind the jeep, and his friend followed him. They were very tired the sun was intense. Adam had no reaction, thinking what could be concerning him. Suddenly, Rocky turned to him and said: I promised myself I wouldn’t ask, but I failed. Who’s that man you love?

Why do you… Want to know… This? – Adam couldn’t hide his fears, with a frozen expression - Hey, I’m your friend and I’m curious, thinking "Who’s is this silly boy playing with your heart?" And… I don’t know… But why can’t you tell me? Is he Tommy, or Billy? Is he… Me? Time running was canceled for a moment. And when it was back, it started to run very slow. Adam putted his hand in Rocky’s face, their lips barely touched, and in a once, for the first time, Adam felt his heart full, without that kind of cold hollow inside and as he tasted the warmth and sweetness from Rocky, and he almost could hear Jann Arden singing: "You give your hand to me…" But what he heard, interrupting that precious second was Tanya yelling their names. Rocky quickly was up and saw her arriving, running. Adam stayed there, with a completely erased mind, with no clue about what was happening.

I forgot my swimming suit! Did you get the jar? We can go together. – Tanya stopped looking Rocky serious face. – Hey… I need to talk with Adam. You can go alone. – Oh! – Tanya smiled agreeing, guessing was the same subject she and the other three talked to him two days before. – So… bye! – She turned around and started walking. Rocky squatted in front of him, waiting when she’d be far enough. Adam silent facing the ground closed his eyes. When they were opened, wet, he tried to say something, but he was voiceless. – Please don’t cry, just listen to me, okay? – I don’t need to listen to you, because nothing happened, right? I… Don’t deserve to lose your friendship only because I mistaken once! – And he continued to shot words, in despair. – For all the time we spent together… Please, just don’t dump it all! - Rocky said firmly: Adam, can you look into my eyes and listen…? – Adam looked, deeply breathed and told him: Don’t ask me to look into your eyes! Because every time I do it I realize how much I love you, and can’t stand it no more. Face the true, knowing you know this now, see your love for me it’s not there in your eyes, kill a part of me. And lots of parts of me are already gone. I miss these parts! So, just don’t ask me to look into yours eyes! – Do you think is it easy for me? – Rocky held Adam’s arm – No, I don’t. I’m only desperate, ‘cause I know the best second of my life will make me lose you forever. – He said that low and serious, and went away. Rocky sat in the grass, with his head though his hands, closed his eyes and sighed, resented for how things went wrong, fearing to lose his best friend ever.

Adam was in his bed. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t cry. He couldn’t do anything, but lament. Everything seemed so perfect in the morning. When did he get lost? How could he dare? – Two days ago, I thought my life was full of misery. Now is full of nothing! Even a ranger, I can be no more. I won’t support his presence! – All that remained was a memory. A bittersweet memory. For one second he had it all. But is gone. His lips gently touching Rocky’s lips, his perfume, his warmth, his expression, he even didn’t saw… One second of true fantasy, when the world around crumbled down, and they’re were the only ones remaining. His face, he felt in his hands, so soft, okay sweat, but it was like his hands melted away. This memory was the unique thing that could lead him through sleep. It’ll ever be in his dreams.

You give your hand to me

And then you say goodbye

I watch you walk away

Beside the lucky guy

Oh, you will never know

The one who loves you so

Cause you don’t know me

Oh, no, you don’t know me

Ooh, you don’t know me

But sun would never stop, and another day rose. He spent it spiraling, wandering around in all the rooms of the house, empty, now that his parents were traveling. What would bring him from L.A.? Probably they wouldn’t bring Rocky’s friendship back. That’s all he could wish. He paid too much for let people know him. – I always knew… How could I forget…?

Sunday night. Kat invited him to go out with her, take a walk in the park. Knowing her better he should know she never consider "take a walk" just walk around. The moon was full, huge in the sky, but shining alone, clouds were covering stars. They should be magnificent too. Chill was present. She patiently heard each word from him, trying to make he fells better. She smiled as they sought Tommy’s jeep. – Can you wait here, dear? I’ll get my jacket in the car. Adam leaned on a tree, felling the freezing breeze. – How come? Yesterday was so hot when Rocky and I… Ah! Where’s Kat? - Kat? – Then he listened a music from the car.

One summer night

We ran away for a while

Laughing, we hurried beneath the sky

To an obscure place to hide

That no one could find

He felt there was somebody behind him. – Kat? – He quickly turned around. – No. It’s me. – "Me" was Rocky brightening the night with his smile. – Adam immediately pointed his sight for somewhere else. – Hey, look into my eyes! Perhaps you’ve just never looked hard enough. – Adam stared him – What? – Rocky giggled. – Ok. Maybe is not as long as you do, but I’m loving you. – Now was explained why the stars wasn’t in the sky. They were waiting to appear in their eyes now.

And we drifted to another state of mind

And imagined I was yours and you

Were mine

As we lay upon the grass

There in the dark

Underneath the stars

(Young love)

Underneath the stars

And that kiss… Although it seemed everlasting, lasted only one second. I eager to have more, Adam. I long for more than one second, more than a kiss. Knowing how hard it will be, even so, do you accept to be my boyfriend? – Adam started to laugh. – What? Am I so ridiculous saying that? – No! No. What do you do when your daydreams come true? – Rocky putted his arms around him, turning all the chill of he night into heat and said: You kiss your new boyfriend! – Passed his hands trough his wavy hair, as Adam put his arms around his neck, and they started to kiss. Softly. And you know, his warm hands moving though his body, turning that kiss in something so deep, intense, but still smooth, with their cheeks tenderly meeting. No, it was just such a perfect realization of a fantasy that he discovered that no one could now him better. Not even their friends that hid watched their successful plan happening, something they’d never wonder, not so long ago. When they finished the kiss, Adam held him tight, promising himself he’d never leave this man who know him so well.

Beautiful and bittersweetly

You were fading into me

And I was gently fading into you

But the time went sailing by

Reluctantly we said goodbye

And left our secret place so far behind

And I lay in bed all night and I was

Drifting, drifting, drifting, drifting…

Back to Cutie's Fanfics

Home