Hate

by MR

So Billy comes up to me the other day in the studio and says, “Hey Denny, I wrote a song. Wanna hear it?”

Who wouldn’t? In all the time he’s been with Jenifur, Billy’s never written anything. He’ll make up odd bits and pieces of stuff during practice, but he leaves the songwriting to Jen and Chris. I asked him Why once, and he just shook his head and said he’d never written music, even when he was with Hard Core Logo.

“Joe did all the writing,” he’d said, like I’d suggested that maybe Robert Plant didn’t really sing lead vocals for Led Zeppelin.

Jen and Chris are kinda scared of Billy. Think they’re waiting for him to crash and burn like Joe Dick did. But Billy, he just keeps plugging right along. Never mind he’s 12 years older than the rest of us; the man knows how to play it. We’re lucky we got him, Ed says. Lucky that what happened with Joe didn’t fuck’im up worse than he already was.

“Yeah, let me hear it.” I sit down on the piano bench, watching as he tunes his guitar. Billy loves his guitar; says it’s an exact replica of one given to him by Bucky Haight, whoever the fuck he was. Near as I can figure, the original one got destroyed onstage the night Joe bit the bullet.

“Got it,” he says, then he starts playing and the guy just blows me away. Never met anyone who could get the sort of sounds of out his guitar that Billy Tallent can, that’s for sure. All dark and harsh, like NIN on acid, or Bowie back when he was Ziggy Stardust.

Billy’s got what Jen calls a ‘whiskey voice,’ rough and raspy like sandpaper on your skin. Not the world’s best singer, but he isn’t paid to sing.

And what he sings is this:

Hate is the glue that binds us all together
Sticky and warm as a blood-soaked piece of leather
Hate is the drug of our own choice
Hate is what gives us all a voice.

Hate your lover-hate yourself
Hate the rich and long for wealth
Hate your children-hate the poor
Show you know just what hate’s for

Hate is the flesh and bone that makes us whole now
Hate is the thing that gives us our control now
The fear is rising up just like a fire
Hate is the source of our desire

Hate your neighbor-hate your friends
Who can tell where it all ends?
Hate yourself and hate your life
Join our litany of strife

Hate your mother-hate your dad
It’s their fault that you’ve been had
Hate everyone and everything
Hate long enough and you’ll be king

H-is for the hurting that we do now
A-is for the anguish of the new now
T-is for the terror that we’re spreading
E-is for the end that we’re forgetting

Hate your family-hate your friends
Unlike love, hate never ends
Hate your job and hate the man
Maybe then they’ll understand

Hate is the glue that binds us all together
Sticky and warm as a blood-soaked piece of leather
Hate is the God we worship here
Hate rules our lives with his fear

I hate you and you hate me
Love’s a lie, can never be
I hate you and you hate me
Love’s a lie, can never be
Keep on hating till there’s nothing left
Keep on hating till there’s no on left
Keep on hating till you hate to death
Keep on hating, keep on hating
Never stop participating
Hate them all both great and small
Hate’s become your all in all

I hate you-you hate me
We belong together see?
I hate you-you hate me
We belong together see?

He ends on a jangle of off-key chords and looks at me. “Whatcha think?”

What I think is that maybe I wanna get away from this guy right now, but I sure’s hell can’t tell him that. “Kinda harsh man. Don’t think Jen’ll go for it.”

And he throws back his head and laughs like a loon. “Course Jen won’t go for it, dickweed! Didn’t write it for Jen.” He stops laughing like someone’s choked off all his air and looks at me, icy blue eyes shining. “Wrote it for Joe. This’ the six year anniversary of the night the fuckin’ bastard off’d himself.” Then he grins like he’s just made the biggest joke in the world. “Think he would a liked it. Joe and hate were really good friends.”

FIN

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