A point that I’ve always considered rather interesting is the really strange connections I’ve always had to the show Daria. For starters, I’m an iconoclastic little b*tch (ratings, ratings!) with a niftily artsy best friend (go visit her on Elfwood!) and I've been dating a guy named Tom. But that’s just the beginning. There are a lot of deeper parallels. I’ll write more of them up later. Maybe I’ll make a chart. For instance, Daria and I got contacts at about the same time, and in both cases our initial moral objections to that move were appeased by the family member we consider most like ourselves—our aunt on our mother’s side. Daria and I also just got finished explaining terms from Romeo and Juliet to the rest of our class. (Luckily, I wasn’t teaching it.) The point is, the show seems to follow my life. And now it’s going to end.

Yes, that’s right, I’m going to die. Or something. See, Daria is going to end its 5-season run at, well, the end of this season. What does that mean? Really! I’m asking! What does it mean? Well… I guess the only other explanation, besides my death, would be that Bria is moving away.

I show you.

Proof: Daria is ending because Bria is moving away.

1. Daria parallels Alexa’s life.
2. The crux of Daria is Daria’s friendship with Jane.
3. Without Jane, there would not be a show.
4. The crux of Alexa’s life is her friendship with Bria.
5. Bria is moving away.
6. You do the math.

Well, I'd stay and say more, but Dad's calling me down to dinner. I wonder what it could be. Smells like lasagna. (BTW, thank you to Sam for helping me figure this all out, even though Sam is moving away now. Also thank you to RL Tom for being... so much like TV Tom, even though we're broken up now. Also thank you to Joe, Jesse, and James (can I call you Jamie?) for making me feel like Quinn while I was at Tip. Thank you to Jesse for ending that, even though Jesse is moving away. And thank you NOT to Amanda for telling me I always was Quinn. That's just because you're smart.)