A Few Dumb Rhymes

I like to waste my time
Thinking up a stupid rhyme
They're really pretty bad, you see
But hey, that's what you get from me.

--ACTUALLY, I just wanted to add that Caroline did many of the, uh, things below (which have been edited--I decided to take out the names because, well, I can't let *them* find me)

  • Guy from N*SYNC--hey! That dude's hair is pink!
  • Britney Spears--hangs with other queers
  • Mrs. LaViola--needs a Ricola
  • Mr. Fifer--mean old griper
  • Mr. Dennis--can't play tennis
  • Dr. Evil--hot like a weevil!
  • Hermione Granger--her hair is a danger
  • Harry Potter--who could be hotter?
  • Draco Malfoy--he's my boy toy!
  • George W. Bush--should be banished to the Hindu Kush
  • Ayn Rand--Is. Bland.
  • Great Expectations--of Freshie frustrations
  • Barenaked Ladies--spinning in my Mercedes (yeah... right.)
  • Christina Aguilera--needs some aloe vera ?

    Sorry. I'll stop now.

    DRUGGIE POEMS

    --And Amanda did most of these. It was her idea. REALLY!--

    Cigarettes
    You spent all your money
    On cigarettes to smoke
    Chew before you swallow
    So you don't choke!

    Getting High
    You are wasted
    but you don't know why
    Next time maybe
    You shouldn't get high!

    LSD
    You jumped off a building
    Halucinations you did see.
    Now you're dead.
    Next time don't do LSD.

    Cocaine
    You're only 21,
    but you have heart pain.
    I guess it's from
    all that Cocaine!

    PCP
    You cut out your kidney
    You just couldn't let it be.
    Next time don't play with knives
    When you're on PCP!

    Heroine
    Because you were high,
    You slept with a lot of men.
    Now you have AIDS.
    Thanks a lot, Heroine!

    Marijuana
    Your baby has 5 heads
    You named her Ana.
    Next time, don't
    Smoke marijuana

    Marijuana Poem #2
    Your kid has no legs
    And must forever use a cane.
    Now you feel bad
    For smoking Mary Jane.

    All poems copyright Alexa Anderson, 2000. Not that anyone would actually want to steal them....