I woke up in an unfamiliar, white hotel room somewhere between home and North Carolina. The hairdryer was going full-blast not far away and I could no longer block it out.

“Nngh,” I articulated. I rolled over but the sound continued. My brother poked me.

“You up?” he asked.

“No.”

“Alexa, go take a shower!” Mom said over the sound of the hairdryer, finally noticing that I was awake. I put the pillow over my head, but Chase promptly took it off again.
“Hurry up, I want to go eat breakfast sometime this week,” he complained. I sighed. They weren’t going to leave me alone. I pulled myself out of bed and trudged to the shower.

Twenty minutes and a thorough shampooing later, I was sitting at breakfast not eating. Mom complained, Chase teased, and Dad stole forkfuls of my pancakes. I didn’t care; I was nervous. That day—Saturday, July 9^th—I was going to TIP. I was going to live on the Duke University campus for three weeks and take a class there with other “gifted” kids. And as if that weren’t intimidating enough, I was taking a philosophy class—a subject I knew little about. I had originally picked classes like creative writing and writing with power as my first choices, and those I knew I could understand. Then on impulse one morning I woke up, went downstairs, put Philosophy first, and sealed the envelope. Then I went back to bed and fell asleep and was late to school, but sitting at breakfast that morning I was much more worried about what I was going to face that afternoon—and for the next three weeks. And what I was facing was a class that I couldn’t hope to understand, with kids who were undoubtedly much smarter than I, and no one I knew within the state.

“Alexa. Please eat something.” Mom was worried, too. I grudgingly ate a pancake and drank some orange juice, but I was very glad when we left. We packed up our things and got in the car and then I began actively worrying.

“When are we going to get there?” I asked.

Dad looked at his watch. “We’ll be in North Carolina in 15 minutes. Then it’ll probably take another hour and a half to get to Duke. But I think we’ll get lunch before we drop you off.”

I nodded. Okay. Right.

Silence prevailed.

“So um… what will you guys be doing while I’m at Geek Camp?”

Mom turned around and looked at me. “We’ll be at home working most of the time, Alexa. And Chase will be at UGA for basketball camp this week. After that, he’ll be home, too.”

“Okay, I was just checking.”

I drummed on my knee. I tapped my foot. I took out my notebook and wrote down some incoherent lines of poetry. I put my notebook up. I took my notebook out again. I stared at it.

“Alexa?” Chase had looked up from Game Boy. “You’re not going to be any geekier when you get home, are you?”

“Well I certainly hope so,” I replied innocently. Chase grinned at me. For all we did to each other, my little brother and I always got along pretty well.

“Oh man,” he said. “Now we won’t be able to understand a word you say.”

“You don’t understand me now.”

“That’s true. But that’s just because you’re weird. Now you’re gonna be smart, too.”

I punched him lightly. Chase grabbed my CD case and, finding a favorite album of mine, handed it to the front seat. I slowly relaxed as the guitar started up and the lead singer of Kansas began singing. This is good, I thought. Even if I’m completely lost and alone at this thing, at least I’ll have my music.

At 2:04 that afternoon, we arrived at the Duke East campus.

“Big,” Chase said at length.

“It’s very pretty though, isn’t it, Alexa?” Mom asked. She looked at me with concern.

“Yeah, it is!” I exclaimed. There were beautiful old trees growing all around. I smiled. Smiling at least made Mom feel better.

“Where are we going?” asked Dad.

Mom made a noise. Originally, the plan had been for me to come by plane, but Mom and Dad ended up having a job not fifty miles away, so they’d just driven up. That turned out to be a bit of trouble, but we’d gotten through. I pointed to a statue up ahead of us—taped to the man’s outstretched had was a sheet of paper that said TIP THIS WAY and had an arrow. Dad followed. Soon we were flagged down by two college-aged guys bearing sheets of paper taped to their shirts that said, “TIP me!” Dad rolled down the window to talk to them.

“You guys here with the Talent ID Program?” the first guy asked us.

“That one is,” said Dad, pointing back at me.

“Cool! Okay, check-in is right here,” the first one started.

“And you can park right there for now,” finished the other. I grinned a little and started fidgeting nervously again. Dad thanked the guys and drove to the indicated “there.” He parked. He and Mom and Chase got out. I swallowed. I stepped out of the car, and I was at TIP. Together we managed to carry all my stuff—backpack, suitcase, and beddings—to the check-in table.

The people behind the check-in table had the same cheerful tone as the others. “Hi, what’s your name?” asked the girl.

“Alexa Anderson.”

She followed down the list of names with her finger. “Um. What is it again?”

“Alexa Anderson?”

“Anderson…” she muttered to herself. She flipped through the pages again. “Uh, what course are you taking?”
Mom interrupted, nervous. “It’s called ‘Looking into our I’s’ I think.”

The girl looked through the pages. “And it’s first term, East campus?”

Chase laughed. “Whoops, just kidding,” he said mockingly. “They forgot you, let’s go home.”

I looked at Mom. I had a vaguely sick feeling in my stomach, but I was sure we were right. “Yeah, definitely. East Campus. First term. Year 2001.”

She frowned. “I believe you, I think I’ve heard of that course.” She leaned across to the other girl who was helping someone else. “Hey Jill, this girl’s taking ‘Looking into our eyes’ or something, do you know…?”
“Oh!” said Jill, and smiled at me. “You’re in Graham’s class! Yeah, don’t you have their roster?” She reached into a tub beside her and fished out another clipboard. She flipped to the course’s roster sheet and handed the clipboard to the first girl, who nodded.

“Here you are. Sorry about that. You’re the first on the role, too.” Mom breathed a sigh of relief.

“And she’s in Graham’s class,” repeated Jill, winking. I wondered what that meant. Girl One laughed.

“He’s awesome, that should be a cool class. Alright, here you go.” She picked out a key card and a room key filed under my name and handed them to me. “You’re in Pegram, room 203.”

“Pegram?” Mom asked.

“The best house by far. It’s that one.” She pointed. “That’s where I roomed in my freshman year. The other two are Basset and Brown.” She pointed again. “That’s the library, and there’s the cafeteria—that’s where you’ll use this card, but don’t worry, meals are free. Also in that building is the campus store. Your class will be held down in the green-roofed building, West Duke.”

I smiled weakly. I’m already lost, I thought. But there was another student behind me, so my family and I moved on towards Pegram. There I was momentarily confounded by the door. Then I realized that you had to put your keycard in to make it open, just like at a hotel.

“Hah,” I said out loud when at last the door opened for me. We walked inside. The walls were decorated with seemingly arbitrary paper cutouts—flamingoes, flowers, a hula girl, and penguins, it seemed. In front of us was a large common room and there were halls in either direction. “Um…” I said, and then chose to go down the hallway where no one was standing. With time and effort, we made it up the stairs and found my room. There were two sets of initials, AA from Snellville, GA: LIOI and HP from Roswell, GA: WOTE. Beside each was a picture of Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

“Wow,” said Chase. “HP.”

“Hewlett Packard?” I asked. “What?”

“That’s your roommate’s initials,” he said. I nodded.

“Oh, good,” said Mom. “She’s from Georgia then. You know where Roswell is, right?”

I grinned. I didn’t really know, but when you’re lost, it’s sometimes best to smile and pretend. I pulled out my room key.

“Knock first!” Mom warned.

“Why?” I asked, knocking.

“Your roommate could be in there already.”

“Oh right,” I said, feeling silly. We waited but there was no response, so I tried my key. It was rather difficult, so I turned it and tried to open the door… and then I turned it again… and then I turned it back….

“Let me help,” said Dad. He took the key and fiddled with it for a moment, then the door swung open.

“You’re gonna have to teach me that,” I said, going into the room. It was nicer than I’d expected—hardwood floors, two desks and cabinets, and a nice window. My roommate had been there already and had claimed the bed by the window, but that was okay with me. I plopped down my load of stuff on the floor.

“The room is pretty!” said Mom. I nodded. My nerves were wearing a little thin with her comments about how pretty things were.

“It’s big, too,” said Dad. “The newer rooms are a lot smaller.”

“This is where the computer would go!” Chase exclaimed, examining a socket. I laughed and went to the closet door. The first one I opened already had clothes in it, so I closed the door and went to the other.

“Dude!” I said. “Look!” I flipped the light switch inside my closet and regarded it. “Nice.” It was much bigger than the other closet.

“Oh, this is nice,” said Mom, going inside. “You can put your shirts on here, and your pants here, and…”

I put my suitcase down and backed out into the room again. My family helped me put the sheets on my bed and plug in my radio-alarm clock, and the whole time Mom was talking about how nice this would all be. I nodded.

“Well,” said Dad. “I guess we should go. Do you want to go look at anything? The library?”

“Mm, no, I’m fine,” I said. “I think I’ll just finish unpacking and then I’ll probably join in the group of people down the hall.”

“Are you sure?” asked Mom. I nodded. Mom sniffled a little and hugged me. “Alright. I know you’re going to have a great time.”

“Yep,” I said.

“And you’re going to write and tell us all about it.”

“Of course.”

“And call,” added Dad.

“I’ll do that too.”

“I’m gonna miss you, Lex,” said Chase. I grinned and he gave me a high five.

“Bye you guys,” I said as they walked out.

“Bye Alexa! Remember to be yourself and have fun!” Mom said.

Chase looked up at Mom. “Alexa’s always herself, Mom.” I smiled.

“See you guys in a couple of weeks!” I said. We waved goodbye. I went back into my room and started unpacking. Clothes, shoes, books, things for class, money; I arranged everything several times, waiting for something to happen. I went to my alarm-radio and turned it on. I opened my CD case and thumbed through it.

Oh, crap, I thought. I left the Kansas CD in the car. Somehow, that realization made me lose the confidence I’d talked myself into. I sat down on the bed and sighed.

I didn’t know what I was doing there. I had no idea what was going on. Frustrated, I pulled out my notebook and began writing. Several minutes later, I heard a knock at the open door.

“Come in,” I said, getting up. A shortish young woman peeked inside and grinned.

“Hi,” she said, “I’m Kerri, I’m your RC.”

“I’m Alexa. My what?”

“Your replacement mom! I’m just here for you to come to with problems. I take this section of the hall to dinner. Which by the way, we’ll meet outside my room—two to the left of this one, it’s the one that says KERRI on it—at 4:55 for dinner tonight. Okay?”

“Cool,” I said, glad for structure.

“Alright. Any questions?”

“Uh, no,” I said, not even knowing what to ask.

“Do you like your room?”

“Yep!” I said.

“Alright then… I guess I’ll see you for dinner. If you need me, I’ll be around,” she said, and walked out into the hallway.

I sat down again. She hadn’t been very helpful, really. I put my notebook up and determined to find someone to talk to. I walked into the hallway and walked down to the room full of girls. They were definitely loud, and…. I kept walking. I didn’t know any of them, and I’d feel weird going into that room anyway. I got to the end of the hall and turned around and started walking back. Someone else was walking into the hallway! She found her room—it was not far from mine—and got out her key, trying it several times.

“Can I help?” I asked. She looked up.

“Oh, I just can’t open my door,” she said.

I grinned. “They’re really hard, aren’t they? Lemme try…” and I took the key and turned it, realizing as I did so that I really didn’t know how to open my own door. Oh shards, I thought to myself. Let this work.

To my great surprise, it did.

“Hey!” she said. “Thanks!”

“No problem. I’m Alexa, by the way.”

“Alexa? I’m Rachel. I’m really lost, too.”

“Me too!” I said, and grinned.

“Cool! Where are you from?” she asked, going into her room. I stayed near the doorway, unsure of whether I was invited in. Rachel went to her bed and went digging in a bag on top of it.

“Georgia,” I replied.

“Oh, I’m from Florida.” She found what she was looking for and stood up.

“Wow, you came even farther than I did. What class are you taking?”

“Wisdom of the East,” she replied.

“I almost took that!” I lied. “I’m taking that ‘Looking into our I’s’ one.”

“Really? What’s that about?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Philosophy and stuff.” I paused. “Well… I guess I better keep unpacking. See you later?”

“Okay!” she agreed. I went back to my room and sat down again.

That wasn’t too bad, I told myself. I sat there for a minute, then pulled out my notebook again and began recording my thoughts about Duke thus far. I was not ready to go out looking for more friends. My notebook was good enough for me for the next 20 minutes or so, until I heard another knock at the door.

“Hello?” I asked, getting up.

A girl poked her head in. She had long curly hair and little glasses, and she was wearing several necklaces. One of them was a Harry Potter charm. “Hi,” she said. “I’m Sarah. Oh don’t get up.”

I shook my head. “Oh I’m not doing anything. Hi, I’m Alexa.”

“Oh good, that’s A.A.” she said. “We’re in the same class.” I had to stop and think about that. Suddenly it occurred to me that the letters under my name were the acronym for my class.

“Cool!” I said. “Where..?”

Sarah grinned. “I’m from near Birmingham, Alabama. I’m in the room across from you and down one.”

“Sarah honey, I need some help here,” I heard someone say.

Sarah turned. “Okay well I’ll see you…” she said, and smiled again.

Wait, I thought. You said hi to me, I’m following you. I went with her out of the room and she went into a room across the hall, which I guessed to be hers.

“Josh, what are you doing?” she asked. A boy dressed in a tight red shirt and really cute bellbottoms with platform thong sandals turned his head toward her, but kept his arms against the wall and then backed up and continued to keep them in the same position.

“This room has bad Fung Shui,” he said matter-of-factly. For a moment, I couldn’t tell if that was his natural voice or if he was making fun of someone. He measured his arms against the width of the bed and then dropped them to his sides. “Bed won’t fit there, though.” I looked at his outfit and mentally slapped myself, knowing that Josh’s somewhat feminine intonations were not meant in jest.

Sarah laughed at him. The other girl in the room started making gestures. “What if we move that chest and but it over there and put the bed here? No, there won’t really be room…”

“That’s Josh,” Sarah said helpfully. “Josh, this is Alexa.”

Josh turned his head and looked at me over his shoulder. “Hey babe, is your room this screwed up?” I grinned and shook my head. “Good cause I’m at a loss in here.”

The third girl cocked her head to the side. “Maybe we should just put that cabinet out in the hallway.”

“Or we could push it out the window,” Josh pointed out.

“Why don’t you put it in the closet?” Sarah asked. Josh looked at the other girl questioningly.

“Sounds good,” she agreed. Amazed, I opened the closet door for them and they pushed the cabinet inside. Then we all worked together to re-arrange the remaining furniture until Josh was satisfied.

“There, now the energy can flow. And you also can be making out on that bed and won’t be seen from the hallway.”

Sarah looked at me. “Just ignore him,” she whispered.

“Ignore me? I heard that, Sarah!” Josh said. Sarah laughed. I decided that they must have known each other before today.

The other girl sat down on one of the beds and looked out into the hallway. “Is that your roommate?” she asked.

I looked out into the hall where two girls were talking in front of my door while one found her key. “Hi,” I said.

“Oh hi!” said the one with brown hair. “Are you in this room?” I nodded. “Awesome. I’m Heather.”

“Alexa,” I said as she turned the key with both hands. She got it.

“That’s pretty,” said her friend to me.

“Yeah,” Heather agreed.

“I’m Amy,” said her friend.

“Nice to meet you.”

Heather looked inside. “Did you get all your stuff, Alexa? Is it okay if I have the bed by the window?”

“Oh sure, that’s fine,” I said. “Although if it stays this hot would you mind putting a fan in the window?”

“No!” said Heather. “Do you have one?” I nodded and went inside and got it. “Wow, that’s cool!” she exclaimed. “We should put it up after dinner.” She went over to her side of the room and looked through her own CDs. She pulled one out for Amy.

“Thank you!” said Amy, and darted out.

Heather picked up a brush and started running through her hair. “So have you ever been here before?” she asked.

“No, I’m completely lost.” I grinned.

“Oh, me too, but I’ve been going to Davidson. That’s where I went the past two years.” I nodded as if I understood and she continued. “It was really fun but my friends say it’s better here. What are you taking?”

“Looking into our I’s,” I said, managing not to fumbled the words.

“Oh, really? I’m taking Wisdom of the East. Meditation and all that.” She finished with the brush and put it down.

“Yeah, that’s really cool!”

“You think so?” she asked. “You can borrow my yoga mat if you want to use it!” She grinned. “I just hope we don’t do anything really hard in class, I’m not very flexible.” I nodded.

Not knowing what to say exactly, I pretended to rearrange some of my things. “I just don’t even know what to expect with the classes,” I admitted.

“Oh, well don’t worry. They’re fun and you’ll make lots of friends.”

“That’s good,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s great. Hey, do you mind if I play some music?”

“Not at all.”

Heather grinned. “What do you listen to?”

“Oh, anything,” I said, expecting my first-choice taste to be too strange for her. “Except rap or country.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I don’t do that.” She pressed ‘play’ on her stereo and the first song came on. I didn’t know it, but it wasn’t bad. “So,” said Heather. “Do you know anyone here?”

“Not a soul,” I said. “But people seem cool.”

“Oh definitely! People are awesome.”

“So is Davidson like the same thing as this?” I asked.

“Yeah but it’s for a little bit younger. I have some friends from there here, though. And it’s really the same program. It’s a lot of fun, you’ll see.”

I smiled, even though on the inside I was still feeling pretty lost. Heather looked at her watch. “Five minutes until we meet for dinner,” she reported. I nodded and decided to put my hair up. It would take the time up, anyway. I grabbed my brush and a rubber band and went to the mirror.

Heather’s song ended. A new song started. The guitar riff sounded strangely familiar and I turned to her. She looked up.

“You listen to Kansas?” I asked, intrigued.

“Yeah, I’ve always liked this song. Is that too weird? I can skip this song if you want.”

“No,” I said, smiling. “I love this song.” And suddenly, I felt at home. I didn’t even know at the time that my experience was just beginning to get good.