Title: All Tooned Up
Author: UniDagger
Email: sj10113@alltel.net
Feedback: Yes, please!
Distribution: Just let me know.
Spoilers: none
Pairing: the usual

Rating: G
Disclaimers: Joss and Co. own all.
Summary: Scooby gang wake up to find themselves cartoons
NOTE: I promise no bunnies (well, maybe just one if it sneaks in. Never can tell.), and no strange men with cheese slices appearing for no reason.

Warning: This story was created under sleep deprivation

Tara stretched from her sleep then curled up closer to Willow, who moaned something about chocolate carrots. She smiled contentedly and begin to doze again when suddenly little hands were shaking her awake. "Wake up! Wake up! It’s time to wake up!"

Wondering if Dawn was baby-sitting again, she twisted to look behind her and screamed. Willow shot bolt upright, looking around. "Tara?" Just then Buffy came busting through the door. "I heard – " Buffy stood stalk still and stared in disbelief. On the bed was Willow and Tara’s alarm clock. Only it was about three times bigger and had hands and a face. It stared back innocently and asked "What? I’m just waking you up like I always do."

Tara closed her gaping mouth and swallowed hard, then looked to carefully to Willow. "I didn’t do it. Maybe we’re dreaming." "Then why am I looking at my friends and they look like cartoons?" Buffy demanded, still frozen. The girls turned to look at Buffy, and began to notice how their room had changed. Buffy was right. They had all become cartoons.

"What’s going on?" a voice said from outside. Buffy moved aside to allow Dawn to enter. Dawn looked around then started laughing. Buffy gave her big-sister-sigh then scolded "It’s not funny." Dawn laughed more managing to say "Yes, it is." Willow chuckled then. "I bet Xander is having fun." "Guess we should get the gang together and try and figure out what’s going on. You don’t think he…I mean, he did do the musical thing."

"I think he learned his lesson on that one." Willow said as she started to get out of bed, then gave a squeak. They all stared at her as her pajamas suddenly were replaced with clothes. That sent Dawn off in another fit of giggles and Buffy shooed her out. "Go get ready for school."

"I guess you never do see toons dress…unless they are getting into disguise or something." Tara replied, scooting away from the clock to stand up next to her soulmate. "I like them," she grinned, "you look good in red."

"I wanna go."

Tara turned to face the alarm clock, her clothes changing as she did. "Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea."

"But I wanna go." It wined, lips beginning to tremble. Buffy threw up her hands and started walk out, "Ya’ll deal with the clock, I’m going to call Giles."

"Please?" the clock begged.

"Aw, can’t he go? It wouldn’t hurt." Willow said, then getting a look from Tara she added, "But I guess if Tara says no then – "

"Oh no you don’t. You can’t make me out to be the bad guy, is that how it’s going to be when we have kids? I just don’t think we should be walking down the street with a clock."

"But everyone’s probably a cartoon, Tar…hey, does that mean you want children?" Willow stopped.

"Well…eventually." Tara grinned.

"So let the clock go."

The two girls jumped at this new voice and began looking around, till the voice cleared its throat. They looked on the bed where Miss Kitty was curled. "What? Never seen a talking cat before?" the cat asked as she stretched, then curled up again. "She talks." Willow gasped. "Yes ‘she’ does, and ‘she’ is tired so please take the runt and go save the world again."

"You….you think we don’t spend enough time with you, do we?" Tara asked Miss Kitty worriedly. Miss Kitty sighed, then looked at them. "You spend lots of time, I am just tired. If I’m to be a good familiar for you when I’m older, then I have to get lots of rest. Oh, and ah….tuna. Lots of tuna."

Willow grinned, "Ok, we’ll pick some up on the way. Come on…" She stopped again. "What are we going to call the clock. I mean, we can’t just say ‘hey clock’." "You’re right." Tara agreed and thought a moment. "How about Chronos." The little clock clapped his hands. "I am Chronos?" "Yes." Willow answered him.

"And…I can go with you?" Chronos asked.

Willow looked at Tara, Tara looked at Chronos and nodded. Chronos began jumping up and down on the bed excitedly causing Miss Kitty to get bounced off, which she quite obviously did not appreciate.

"But!" Tara inserted, walking to the bed to stop his bouncing. He paused, then walked closer to her, looking up into her eyes. "You have to be good…and do exactly what we say. This could get dangerous, ok?" Chronos nodded solemnly. "I’ll be good."

Tara helped him climb down, then took his hand. Chronos reached up and Willow accepted his other hand and they proceeded to go downstairs.

Buffy dropped Dawn off at the school, noting how the flags didn’t move, even though they appeared to be blowing in the breeze. "This is too weird." She said under her breath. She pulled away from the curb and headed for the Magic Box where they were to meet Anya and Xander. Chronos was staring out of the window asking "whatsthat?and that?" every few seconds. Willow sat close to him in case they had to stop suddenly, as they had no car seat, and didn’t think one would fit him anyway. Tara looked back to watch them and smiled. Willow was pointing out colors and items and Chronos would repeat their names excitedly.

They arrived at the Magic Box just as in time to see Anya drop the keys which began bouncing all over the place, and Xander racing to try and recover them. They tried not to laugh but couldn’t help themselves. Chronos ran over and caught the keys and handed them to Xander with a smile. Xander thanked him then did a double take as he realized he was looking at a clock. "This is Chronos, Xander." Willow introduced him. "This is….Uncle Xander…and Aunt Anya." Willow told Chronos who smiled shyly at them.

They all filed in and took a seat at the large table while Anya put on a pot of coffee. They shared their morning experiences then started pouring through some of the volumes of books. "So even Giles doesn’t know what happened? Weird. And this is worldwide too?" Xander asked.

"Can I have some coffee too?" Chronos asked as Anya brought a tray of cups to everyone.

"You’re too…uh….clocklike. It’ll stunt your growth." Xander told him. "How old….?" "I guess he is three. I mean, that’s when we bou - , uhh, got him." Willow said. "Don’t worry, Chronos," Anya told him, setting a cup in front of him, "Coffee is nasty anyway, this is Hot Chocolate…its much much better."

Chronos clapped his hands happily, "Thank you Aunt Anya." He picked up the cup but Tara stopped him, "Wait, it’s hot. Blow on it first, like this." She showed him how to cool it and then watched him take a taste. "MMMM!! It’s yummy!" He spent the rest of the time blowing and sipping carefully, while the adults discussed how they got ‘tooned’.

Hours passed but still they could find nothing in any book, not a demon or a spell listed made any mention of cartoons. Chronos was getting restless and bored so Willow suggested they get some lunch. Tara suggested they go to McDonald’s. "But we never go there." Xander stated. "That’s because you are too big to play on the toys and you get jealous of the little kids." Willow teased. Xander’s eyes lit up then. "But Chro would like it…and…and he’ll need someone to show him around…." The girls laughed and agreed. The gang headed outside and made their way down the street.

After lunch Chronos and Xander played for two hours before the girls could get them to come out. "We have work to do, remember?" Buffy asked pointedly. "Work Shmerk. Ok Ok. We’re coming." Xander finally consented and slid down the slide with Chronos on his back. "Wheeee".

"Can we come back tomorrow?" Chronos asked as he and Xander put their shoes back on. Xander winked at him. I’ll come sneak you away and we’ll come have some fun. Besides, we’re men and no one is going to tell us what to do, right?" "Right." Chronos agreed with him. Willow, Tara, Buffy and Anya all put their hands on their hips and cleared their throats. "Ulp. Uh, that is…if they let us." Xander added. Chronos giggled and agreed.

As they began walking down the street they passed a toy store. Both Xander and Chronos stopped in awe. "Here we go." Anya sighed. Xander picked up the little clock so he could see the moving train set better. "Wow!" Chronos exclaimed watching the little engine go around and around. Tara walked over and gave Xander some money. "Why don’t you help him buy a toy, Xander. We’ll go on back and you two guys can catch up."

The boys bolted inside the store and the girls chuckled as they continued walking. Willow looked over at Anya and smiled, "He’s going to make a good daddy someday." Anya smiled back, "Yes. Though something tells me I’ll have two kids, not one."

As they were nearing the Magic Box, Xander was exiting the toy shop with both a large box and Chronos in his arms. Chronos suddenly cried out "Oh no, he’s coming!" "What?" Xander asked startled. Just then a large demon on a tiny horse galloped passed them. "Hurry Uncle Xander. Willow and Tara!!" Chronos lamented. Taking the kids word for it, Xander began running down the street. By this time Anya had opened the door, being sure not to drop the keys again and Willow and Tara were talking about getting a little bed for Chronos. Buffy was leaning against the store, lost in thought when she suddenly looked up at the sound of hoofbeats.

The demon appeared then, and without so much as a hello or a grrr, he stretched out his hand and scooped up Willow and Tara and continued racing down the street causing cars to swerve out of the way. Drivers got out and started yelling at one another, a couple actually started exchanging blows with large hammers. Xander came panting up as Buffy snapped out of her shock and started to run after the girls. She slid to a stop as a huge speech bubble began floating towards them, getting bigger. Buffy took a few steps back, not know what to expect. The speech bubble hovered over them, trembling. It’s shaking increased until it suddenly went POP! and Willow and Tara’s combined voices yelled "HELLPPPPP!!!" The force of the wind nearly knocked them over. When the wind subsided, Buffy brushed back her hair with her hand and looked around. The demon was nowhere insight.

"Damnit, where’d he go. And who was that?" Buffy kicked at a small people, but it danced out of her way with a yelp and ran away. Buffy rolled her eyes. "I never did like toons."

"I-I know where he’s taking them." Xander said. "At least, I think…" Buffy and Anya looked at him. "All the bad goes go to the tracks or the caves, right. Usually. We don’t have tracks, but we have caves." "Good thinking."

"I wanna help." Chronos said.

"Not now." Buffy brushed him away. "Anya, can you stay here and wait for Dawn?" Not waiting for an answer, she said motioned Xander to follow and headed to the car. Xander handed over Chronos and gave Anya a quick kiss then raced after Buffy. Chronos sniffled and Anya patted him. "Don’t worry, Buffy will save them."

Buffy sped down the road heading outside of town to where the caves were. Why the caves? There was always something weird going on at the caves…but it wasn’t even a hellmouth, she mused to herself. "He was just concerned, you know." Xander said softly.

"What?" Buffy asked, realizing he was speaking.

"Chronos. He was just concerned. He loves Willow and Tara too."

"He’s a clock."

"But he has feelings."

Buffy thought a moment. "I guess so. But if we get this all fixed…he wont be here anymore, you know."

"I know."

They drove the rest of the way in silence.

***** ******* ****************

The demon pulled on the reins of his tiny steed that collapsed in exhaustion, legs going every which way. Racing into the dark cave, lit only buy a single lantern, he quickly opened the door to a cage and threw the two witches inside, slamming the door with a clang. Locking it, he swallowed the key with a loud gulp and laughed evilly.

"W-what are you g-going to d-do with us." Tara asked in a frightened voice, and Willow squeezed her hand. Willow tried to think of a spell but jumped when the demon slammed his fist on the cage and yelled "NO!" She looked at him and glared, trying be brave. "Don’t even bother trying a spell, witch. It won’t work on me. And you.." He looked at Tara and smiled which on a demon, or at least his type of demon, is a very horrifying thing to see indeed, "You’ll find out soon enough what I have planned for you little morsels. But you are not my priority." He turned away and began pacing. "Hmmm. Need to throw them off my trail for now. Till IM ready for the little weasel, at least."

The demon grabbed a can of paint and stormed out of the cave, leaving Willow and Tara alone. After a few moments, Willow gave Tara a kiss to reassure her. "Buffy will come." Tara nodded. "We’ll be ok. The damsels in distress are always saved, you know." Tara nodded. Willow thought, then tried again. "Someone should give him some Crest and a toothbrush." Tara looked into the eyes of her beloved then broke into a smile. "Thank you." She whispered.

"Shall we try to escape or just wait for our heroes?" Tara inquired, tapping on the bars that wobbled like rubber. "Well," Willow said slyly, "I was liking the idea of being alone with you."

"Will!" Tara chuckled, then pushed on the bars, opening a space for herself to get out. Willow did the same and stepped out beside her.

Suddenly the cuckoo clock struck the hour and the little bird popped out "Escape! Escape! The prisoners are escaping!!" It popped back in. "Oh no!" Tara exclaimed. "We’ll hide, come on." Willow led Tara to the back and had her stand under the lampshade, then started laughing. "Willow!"

"I’M sorry. I can’t stop thinking like a cartoon…and I cant stop laughing about it."

"Do you want us to be…canceled…or whatever happens to cartoons?" Tara asked sternly.

"Me thinks you need some cartoon lessons. Ok, wait. He hasn’t come back…so maybe he is too far away to hear. Come on, we’ll go out the back door."

"What back door?" Tara asked as she was led by the hand into the dark.

"There’s always a back door." Willow declared.

***** *********** ***********************

"There’s always a back door." Xander declared.

"Shh. I’M trying to see what he is doing." Buffy hushed him, watching the demon as he strode out to the door and started painting

"He’s probably going to repaint the road so that it runs into the big rock and you’ll come driving down the road and think it’s a cave but you’ll smack into it. Except, being the good guy, you really will drive into it and he’ll go look to see how its possible and either a train will run him over, or you’ll coming speeding back and run him over." Xander informed calmly.

Buffy looked at him and shook her head. "You watched way too many cartoons as a kid, Xander."

She looked back at the demon then shrugged. "Might as well try it. I’ll go keep him busy, you go get the girls." She stood up and started back to the car, then turned back. "Xander…."

"Yes?"

"Uh, how do I know I wont really smash into the rock?"

"Buff…you gotta have faith. Embrace the toon inside."

Buffy rolled her eyes and walked back to the car as Xander slinked along the ground like a snake towards the back of the cave. Xander chuckled to himself. "This is soo cool. I always wanted to do *KLUNK* OW" Xander rubbed his head, then determined to watch where he was going he slid around the rock he’d hit and continued up to the cave. He looked all around but there was no door. "Doh, of course!" he said, snapping his fingers. He moved over and lifted the cave up. "Psst." He whispered. "It’s Xander. Will? Tara?" He raised the cave up higher. "Xander?" Willows voice came to him. Willow and Tara rushed out and hugged him. "Are we glad to see you!" Willow said. "Well shucks. Twernt nuthin." He let the cave clomp back down and motioned for the girls to follow.

Meanwhile, Buffy had reached the car only to find it was surrounded by vampires. "Going somewhere?" one of them asked. "How…" Buffy started to ask how they were out but realized, tho the sky was yellow, there wasn’t an actual sun. "You vamps really need to learn the meaning of timing." She drew her trusty stake and prepared for battle. Zing! Pow! Wham! She battled the evil vampires. One of the vamps got lucky and landed a punch, knocking her down. Buffy did a back flip and regained her feet, then used the stake to poke the floating exclamatory bubbles. "That’s better." She flipped towards one of the vampires and stabbed him. With a whoosh, he flew through the air deflating like a balloon., but now more vampires were arriving out of nowhere.

"I need a sun!" She moaned. Then a light bulb went off (she quickly knocked it away), and put her hand in her pocket. She withdrew a doughnut, tossed it aside. Next she pulled out a horseshoe, a fishing rod, some bubble gun and frog. "Grrr. Enough already."

She dug down once more into her pocket, and pulled out a pencil. "Yes!" She ran and vaulted over one of the vampires, up up she went into the air. As she paused before descending, she quickly drew a sun, then she was falling back towards earth. She replaced the pencil with her stake and prepared for battle.

Her plan was working however, as all the vampires started bursting into flames. Most of the ran and hid in whatever shadow they could find, but several finally poofed into little wafts of smoke. "Too bad it’s not always that easy." Buffy smirked, then remember her mission, raced for the car.

Part Four

The demon finished painting the fake cave and smiled at his handwork. He heard a car coming so he quickly zipped behind some trees, snickering. Buffy came speeding down the road, following it straight into the cave. The demon's eyes bulged out and he ran over to the cave entrance in shock. "Wha.." Suddenly a bright light shone out of the tunnel and the demon turned white. Before he could turn around WHAM a train ran him over and continued out of sight.

Buffy backed the car out of the tunnel, chuckling, then headed over to where the others waited. "I think I could get used to this cartoon thing."

"Uhoh." Willow said. "What?" Tara asked.

"She’s been exposed too long. You can only take so much loonieness…at least in the beginning." Xander said. "It’s like a cartoon rule."

"Uh huh."

"You two scare me sometimes." Tara laughed.

Not seeing the demon, they headed back to check on Dawn, Anya and Chronos. When they got there though, no one was there and the front door was open. "Did something happen?" Willow asked worried that Chronos was in danger.

Just then, a stork raced up with a telegram. When they opened it, it read:

Gang,

Need help. Stop. Demon after Chronos. Stop.

Get to the mall fast and don’t stop.

Anya

They raced off for the mall, which was still under construction. As they neared it, they could see the demon chasing Chronos and Anya and Dawn were tied to a pole. Buffy quickly reached them and untied them, asking what happened. "He showed up out of nowhere. Chronos sensed him and tried to warn us…but I didn’t understand. Then that big brute came in and he had Dawn…so we had to come here with him. He was going to burn us, but Chronos grabbed the matches and ran off. They’ve been running around like that for fifteen minutes. I don’t know why he just doesn’t use this lighter." Anya said, holding it up.

"It’s a toon thing, baby." Xander said, taking her into his arms.

Tara watched as Chronos ducked and ran under the demon's legs, speeding off. "Why does he want Chronos?"

"He said something about not sharing and that this was his chance to finally get rid of him." Dawn supplied.

Buffy went to face the demon and Tara caused some beams to jump up at the demon, slowing him down. Willow motioned her hand, and a bucket fell down on the demon's head, which howled in anger.

Chronos ran to Buffy. "Buffy, I can help." Buffy ignored him, continuing on to the demon who was trying to get the bucket off. Just as it popped off, Buffy was there and kicked him in the gut, sending him flying backwards. "Buffy!" Chronos hollered as he ran up to her. Buffy jerked her head towards him and saw the demon had rolled to his feet and was heading for Chronos. "Get out of here, damnit."

Chronos stood still, "B-but…"

The demon through a brick at Chronos as Buffy reached him. She gasped and looked to the clock, knowing she couldn’t stop it. Willow and Tara stood in the background, hands raised. The brick hovered inches from the clock’s face, then dropped to the ground. Buffy attacked the demon as Chronos stepped back, then ran off.

"Chronos?" Willow called. She and Tara tried to run after him but he slipped from sight. Buffy continued fighting the demon but nothing seemed to actually kill him. "Come on!" Xander said to his wife and Dawn, and the three raced over to a cement mixer and turned it on and began adding water. Xander peeked inside, then called to Buffy.

The angry demon fought back as Buffy punched and kicked him closer and closer to the cement mixer. He grabbed one of the beam braces and snapped it off, swinging it at Buffy. She ducked and shot a foot out, catching him in the knee. He howled and fell into the cement mixer which chugged and chugged then spat out a block of cement, the demons angry head, arms and legs sticking out, but immobile.

As Xander turned the mixer off they heard Willow and Tara scream. Chronos had climbed up to a much higher level, but was now hanging on a broken beam, that side beginning to crumble from the destruction the demon caused. Buffy raced for workers ladder and headed to the top.

Chronos leaned perilously as Buffy tried to reach him. "Take my hand!" "Why?"

"Because if you fall….you’ll get smashed."

"So. You don’t care about me." Chronos inched back again and almost fell, causing Willow and Tara to gasp from below.

"Chro, please, take Aunt Buffy’s hand!!" Tara called.

"I do care about you Chro. Look, I’m sorry about before. I was worried about everyone…I just didn’t take the time to see how you were feeling. I’m sorry, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I don’t……I don’t want you to die." Just then the beam creaked loud and the crack widened.

"Come now, at least do it for Will and Tara. They love you!" Buffy stretched her hand out again.

Chronos looked down at the two women then lunged for Buffy’s hand just as the beam splintered and fell. Everyone below scattered then looked up to see Buffy pulling Chronos to her. He wrapped his arms around her neck as she began climbing down the ladder. Sniffling he said, "I-I’m sowwy." Buffy paused in her descent to hug him. "It’s ok, Chro."

When she made it down, Tara and Willow rushed over in tears and began hugging and kissing him. "I thought we’d lost you!" Tara told him. Chronos squeezed her and apologized. "How about we go home and get some ice cream. I think we all deserve some." Buffy interrupted. They looked at Buffy and nodded. Chronos smiled shyly up at her and said, "Thank you…Aunt…Buffy."

Buffy smiled and patted him on the head. "Lets go, guys." She began walking to the car and Dawn hurried to catch up to her. "You ol’ softy." "Hush Dawn." Buffy chuckled, then put her arms around her sister. "Buff?"

"Yes?" Buffy asked as she opened the car door and got in. Dawn got in next to her and looked at her. "I love you, sis." Buffy looked back at Dawn. "I love you too, Dawn."

Buffy turned on the car as the others piled into the back. "You know how I told you that you were grounded for a month last week?"

"Yes?" Dawn asked hopefully.

"You’re still grounded."

"Ah man!!!" Dawn glared for a second, then grinned. "Alright. I guess I deserve that."

Willow and Tara chuckled as the car pulled away and headed for the ice cream store.

Part Six

Having had the biggest ice cream party imaginable, and exhausted from the day’s adventures, the gang finally dispersed and headed home. As Willow, Tara and Chronos headed for the door, the ground began to shake and the air grew electrified. Dawn was thrown back but Buffy caught her. There in front of the house stood a giant demon, then quickly transformed into a clock, then back to a demon, then a clock again. He growled then threw up his hands and sighed.

He looked down at Chronos. "Son, why a clock. That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard of."

"It was funny." Chronos answered him quietly.

Willow looked down at the little clock, still holding his hands.

"You have caused a lot of trouble, Llew."

"But I just wanted.."

"I know. I know how much you want a mother…" He looked at Willow and Tara. "You picked very good women, I can see into their hearts and they truly do love you. But you have caused a lot of havoc to this realm for a very selfish reason. I even had to send your brother here to get you."

"I’m sorry."

"Where is your brother?"

"Wait a minute. That demon that kept trying to kill Chronos…uh….Llew….was his brother??" Buffy asked incredulously. The demon looked at her, then the others. Next he pulled something out of his pocket and stared into it. Sadly, he put it away. "I will deal with him later. I hadn’t realized his hatred…..your mother would have known what to do with him. Come Llew, it is time to go home."

"But.." Willows voice caught.

"I’M sorry ma – Willow. Tara. I have to go home now. Please don’t be mad at me."

"Oh, sweetie. We’re not mad." Tara hugged him tightly.

Buffy walked over while he and Willow hugged sadly, then leaned down next to him. "Hey, if nothing else, you gave us some fun too. I know Xander always wanted to be a cartoon." Buffy smiled and gave him a hug. Chronos smiled then put his hand into Willows. Willow and Tara took him into their arms again. "I love you." He said softly. "We love you." Tara and Willow told him. There was a bright light, and everything was turned to normal, and Willow was left holding their alarm clock, turned back to normal.

Epilogue

Two weeks later, found Tara sitting in their bedroom, by the window. The Scooby Gang would be meeting soon for lunch, and she still wasn’t ready. Willow walked in then and noticing her mood, walked over. "Hey baby, whats -." She smiled and bent to give her a little kiss, noticing the alarm clock in her arms. "I miss him too."

"MEOW." Miss kitty said, as she stood and went to stand in the doorway. She looked back at them. Willow and Tara looked at her. "What is Miss Kitty?"

"MEOW!" the cat demanded.

"Ok, ok. We’re coming." Tara stood up and they two followed the cat downstairs and to the front door.

As they neared it, the doorbell rang. Willow and Tara looked at each other, then Willow reached out and turned the knob. There on the doorstep stood a three year old little boy, with blonde hair and green eyes. He smiled shyly. "Hi Will, Hi Tara."

Willow and Tara gaped at him. When Miss Kitty meowed again in a most chastising way, they jumped and begin talking at once "Can you…I mean…are you…"

Chronos laughed. "Daddy said, if you wanted me, I could stay. Or I can just visit. Or…" he looked kind sadly down at the floor, then glanced at Willow and Tara to see if they were looking, "I can just go away."

"Of course you can’t go away!" Buffy said as she came from the living room smiling.

"Welcome home, Chro." Willow said and scooped him up into her arms.

"Yay!" he laughed as he was given hugs and kisses. "Can we go to McDonald's now?"

They laughed and agreed they’d call Xander and meet him there.

The End