Lizard on-the-cusp --By Tommy Z The players: John Prince Katmandu Lizard on-the-cusp Renolds Donna Renolds (The Narrator) Sir Issac Pills-Mowerhaven Colonel Jubal A. Early Joseph Shakspeare Rocky Kansas Pete Slovac Dr. Roosevelt Grahem Martha Grahem Cathy Rigby Carl Worthington (The curtain opens with the narrator standing center stage) [Narrator] This is a play. The narrator is Donna (points to herself), John's sister. She is dressed in flowing white angel's garb (gesture to garb). She is animated and carefree. Very pretty and young. (pops gum) (Donna walks over to the edge of stage and sits down, her feet dangling over)(she continues) [Act I] [Narrator:] (Blowing gum bubbles as she speaks these lines) Once upon a time I had a brother. He lived in the village of Mesopotania--which is just South of Moggendavidville, near a Wal-Mart. (POP) [Narrator:] (just chewing gum) Pete Slovac was the manager of the Mesopotania Wal-Mart. He had a name tag, and there was a picture of him so no-one else could try to be, Pete Slovac. This comforted Pete to know that no-one else could be him. He often whispered to himself as he sat in in his fish tank which he shared with Kathy, the often mundane, peripheral assistant manager. "No-one can be me" Pete whispered to himself. "That's for darn sure." "I think that's for you," Kathy signed. Pointing to the security moniter. "Damn-it" Pete gulped; contorting his brow and scrunching his fishy mouth into a scowl. "It's that dancing fool. Kathy, call security and have them meet me over by the big Pepsi display in front of isle seven." "OK tiger," Cathy responded; her gills pulsating." Geez." Cathy reached for the phone. "What a dipsomaniac. Carl, (she spat into the phone) get over to isle seven. That dancing fool is back." [Narrator] Cathy liked to use big words. She enjoyed beach volley-ball, in the summer not to mention all manner of beach activities. She was buoyant. [Carl] I know, I'm watching him as we speak. Man, that fool can really dance. Carl is on the job, and primed for action." "Great Carl, just get over to isle seven, "Cathy repeated . [Narrator] Carl had been security at Mesopotania Wal-Mart for the last thirteen months . He supported a wife and six kids . He ate organic garlic pills, which he was convinced would keep him young. He listened to talk radio, and drove a Cadillac Eldorodo (Carl walks over to Pepsi display). They converged on John Prince Katmandu Lizard on-the-cusp Renolds like nobody's business. "What do you think your doing," Pete the manager spouted. "Please leave before I call the police. [Narrator] Little did they know that John Prince Katmandu Lizard on-the-cusp Renold's gyrations became more and more pronounced in direct proportion to the amount of scrutiny paid to him. His dancing was a reflex action, that his doctor, Sir Issac Pills-Mowerhaven had once described as: the result of a latent manifestation to shake off unwanted body parts, which was the result of a traumatic response to losing his sister to Leprosy, at the age of four. Which was the result of our mother's Christian work at a Lepar colony. To further complicate matters our father Katmandu Renolds was a thief and a narcoleptic who had been convicted of robbing the Leggs factory outlet in Moggendavidville, when John Prince Katmandu was only seven. "What's that he is saying Carl?" "Not sure," Carl replied [Narrator] With the arrival of Carl, and Pete the store manager, the crowd of shoppers who had gathered to watch the dancing fool began to dissipate. Pete addressed the dancer once again, "What do you want pal ? You want a Pepsi? Is that what you want? A Pepsi. Carl get him a Pepsi." Carl plucked a pepsi from the pyramid and thrust it at John Prince Katmandu Lizard on-the-cusp Renolds. "Here you go pal, is this what your after?" [Narrator] My brother loved to dance. He loved the sparkling cheery blue Wal-Mart associates. He loved the sparkling cherry bright linoleum. He loved everything cherry and cheery. He reached over and grabbed the Pepsi and shoved it into his pocked. Then he tried to make his escape by rolling on the floor to the exit. He had stopped dancing. He was just rolling now. "Hey, use got to pay for that," Carl responded. " that aint free, ya know." "Let him go Carl. Just so he gets out of my store." [Narrator] Carl and Pete dissipated into the belly of the store, and John Renolds rotated his way through the sliding glass doors and out onto the pavement where he was almost run over by a station wagon driven by Martha Grahem, a practicing nurse over at Saint Opey's Divine Redemption Clinic and Home for Incurables, over in Lake Kilby, also know as " the town of a thousand and one mosquito bites". "Jesus Mary, holy mother of G.O.D., are you hurt ?" Martha inquired, "Here, let me help you... up." [Narrator] Martha got the station-wagon into park; jumped out, and ran over to my brother. "I was just on my way and here you come rolling right out towards me. It's a wonder you weren't killed. Is it the bottle? Has the old devil tonic taken hold and won't let go." [Narrator] John Renolds thrust the can of pepsi at Martha. Opened it. The carmeled liquid exploded and drenched Martha with sticky syrupy liquid-libation. "Well, I guess that's what you get from all that rolling around," she laughed. [Narrator] Martha opened the wagon door and beckoned him inside. "Now hop right in there, and don't you worry yourself about nothin' cause when Martha Grahem is on a case there aint nobody or no thing that can stand in her way. That's it, just hop right on up there on the seat and away we'll go." [Narrator] (narrator takes gum out of mouth, is caught off guard) And off they went. Martha Grahem was born and raised in Lake Kilby. When she was twelve, she had contracted malaria and nearly died. As a result, she had spent six months at Saint Opey's Divine Redemption Clinic and Home for Incurables, drinking quinine and playing poker. Her youngest son, Roosevelt, a successful doctor in St. Louis, had returned several months earlier to work at the clinic and be closer to his aging mother. He was waiting on the steps of the clinic when the station wagon pulled up "What have you got there momma, a stray you picked up in town? "Get on down here now and help me with these groceries, and say hello to your new guest." "Hello stranger. My name is Dr. Roosevelt Grahem, my friends call me Rooster; being that, I like to get up early and chase the young hens around the barnyard." Chuckles to himself while extending his hand into the open window for a shake. "How are you?" John Prince Katmandu Lizard on-the-cusp Renolds secured the outstretched appendage reluctantly, fearful that he might separate the arm from its host. "Got a name there partner?" (silence) "Well all right then "Never mind that now, Roosevelt, just help our guest there, get acclimated, and then get back here and unload these groceries." "Why momma that's a pretty big word for you to be using, where did?" "You hush now, you wise acre. It just so happens that that nice, lady assistant manager over at the Mesopotania Wal-Mart taught it to me when I was over there trying on some new shoes to wear to your brother's funeral this Sunday." "Pepsi" I'll get you acclimated." (looks over at momma as the two men walk to the back of the stage, and chuckles). "Hey there stranger, did I ever tell you how, it came about that, I secured the name Potomac? Well, when I was baptized, rumor has it that, the Reverend John Oats held my under a bit to long, and I swallowed more than my fare share..,". (Martha shaking her head and chuckling)[lights fade out] (House lights come on and, Donna opens a Pepsi, continues to sit on stage). Twenty minutes folks, (she says, and drinks her Pepsi. She can talk to the audience, if they talk to her: staying in character. Eventually she goes back stage). ActII (Narrator, lit from above spot light, sitting on a porch swing in front of curtain) [Narrator] The set is composed of an open front house, that has two floors. Near the front door, stairs lead strait up. There is a waiting room to the right and a larger room to the left that serves as the examining room. Straight ahead past the stairs is the kitchen. Left of kitchen is a bathroom. Large. Similar to a prison. At the top of the stair are two large bedrooms left and right, another in the back. A small bathroom straddles the left and back bedrooms. Directly opposite, on the right side of the house is a small room with a giant fan in the window. There is a screen enclosed porch in front, that wraps half-way around the left side. (When actors speak, that room is illuminated, otherwise dark.). (A large wooden sign is nailed above an imaginary doorway: Saint Mary's of the Divine Redemption Clinic and Home for Incurables.) The curtain opens.(the curtain opens) (Spot over John combing hair in front of mirror, back to audience-- in large bathroom. Mirror, table and chairs in kitchen, porch swing, comb, and sign are the only material things on stage. Martha and Roosevelt stand center of kitchen. After a minute, John walks into kitchen). "Well, feeling better? Come on over here and grab a seat. I hopes you like Red beans and rice. And there's a big old ham hock with your name on it. We'll put some meat on those bones yet," chipped Martha.