Hang Man
by Tommy Z
The Mega Crossword-Puzzle Magazine was lying face down on the bed between us. "Think of a word that has four "i"s in it--besides the word Mississippi," she taunted, "and I'll do anything you want." She pulled off her sweater and flopped back into the pillows..
"You, You, ill fed, imbicilic Emu."
"Nice try," She yawned, "but that's imbecilic, with an "e", you moron." She picked up the remote control and started frantically flipping through the channels. She was flippant.
"How about a hint, tweety."
"Fourth, sixth, eighth, and tenth letters are the "i"s."
"Do you know it!"
"Of course!" Her bunny slippers inched towards me.
"I bet there's some kind of computer program that could figure this out, lets see."
"Give up? you you imbecilic... arc welder." The bunnies attacted.
"A-wow." My eyes narrowed. "Insipid pencil pusher"--she worked for an Insurance company.
"That's three "i"s, here's a cookie."
"Keep your cookies to yourself. Is there an "a"?"
"I'm sorry but there r no "a"s.
Is there an "E"?."
"There are two Eeees."
Puzzle >_ E _I_I_I_I_ _ _E
"I don't have a clue. "
"Sound it out."
"El deseo vence al miedi (desire conquers fear). Thats it, right?"
"Sorry."
"Cela m'importe peu (that matters little to me)."
"No."
"Rumpelstilskin."
"How ever did you guess. NO."
"Is ther an "A".
"There are no "A"s."
"An "O"?"
"I'm sorry, there are no "O"s."
"Is there a "U". As in ubiquitous airhead."
"There is one "U" and only one you."
Puzzle >_ E _I_I_I_I_U_E
"Is it a Japanese poem thing--haiku
"No it isn't and no, and bless you."
"Is it a famous person?
Hinri Winklir...
Tony Morrison
Liz Taylor
Wilt Chaimberland
Allen Greenspan
Mr. Potato Head
Sally Fields
Sally Struthers
Struther Martin
Betty White
Bukka White
Hillary Clinton
Clint Eastwood
Jane Fonda
Henry Fonda
Bridgette Fonda
Hondo
Carry Fischer
Harry Cary
Cary Grant
Carry me back to old Virginia
Shaft
Donna Karen
Don Knots
Aunt B
Opie
Grover Cleveland
Twiggy
Carl Malden
Cathy Rigby
Barbi
Ken
G I Joe
YODA
Lyle Lovett
Jane Goodall
Marmaduke
Xena The Princess Worrier
Virginia Woolf
Tom Woolfe
Woof Woof."
"NO, No No --A thousand times no.
"Is there an "N"."
"There are no "n"s."
"Is there a "t"."
"There is one "T"."
Puzzle >_ E _I_I_I_ITU_E
"Is there an "S".".
"There is one "s".".
Puzzle >_ E _ISI_I_ITU_E
"Is there a "b"."
"There are no "b"s."
"I"d like to solve the puzzle."
Puzzle >_E_ISI_I_ITU_E
"Yes."
"Je ne sais trop (I don't know exactly)."
I'm sorry, that is incorrect. "
"You-are a- pain -in the- ass."
"Remember, it's only one word."
"Farfegnugen?"
"An English word. Do you give up?"
"Is there an "R"."
"Yes."
Puzzle >_ERISI_I_ITU_E
"A "K"?"
"No."
"A "J"?"
"No."
Is there an "L"?"
"There is one "L"."
Puzzle >_ERISI_ILITU_E
"Is there a "M"?"
"Yes."
"I"d like to solve the puzzle."
Puzzle >_ERISIMILITU_E
"Yes."
"Fata volentem ducunt, nolentem trahunt (the Fates lead the willing and drag the reluctant)."
"Trayhunt?"
Yea it's Latin thing."
"I'm sorry that is incorrect."
Is there a "D" as in- Hey dude where's my car?"
"There is a "D"."
Puzzle >_ERISIMILITUDE
"I think I have it now."
"Yes."
" die Baukunst ist eine estarrte Musik. "(architecture is frozen music-Goethe).
"Shall we dance ?"
"Let's defrost the building first. Is there a "V"?""
Puzzle >VERISIMILITUDE