Shocking! An Interview with ex-Whitesnake Lead Singer, David Coverdale by Jake Jarmell
			Nowadays, we look back at the 1980s as a time to forget. We dressed weird, had mullets, and listened to music from guys who looked like girls and girls who looked like guys. However, through the flurry of 80s metal bands, perhaps one stood out the most. Metallica, you say? No, Whitesnake, of course! And who could have been more popular than David Coverdale, who, with his thick British accent, was the heartthrob lead singer of the band. With cool cars, models for wives, and songs that had really no meaning, but went to the top of the charts, Whitesnake was living high in 1987. But, like the 80s, Whitesnake fell apart as well. I had the opportunity to sit down with Coverdale to discuss Whitesnake, his life now, his ex-wife Tawny Kitaen, and what the hell he’s been doing for the past 15 years. Jarmell: So, it’s been 15 years since your self-titled album, Whitesnake, ripped through the Billboard charts? Coverdale: Yes, I can’t believe it’s been that long. It’s like the past 15 years have just flown by. JJ: Must be all the drugs, eh? DC: No, that made the time fly by back in ’87. That whole year lasted 5 seconds to me! JJ: Wow! That’s very ironic since the general public considers that to be how long your rock band was actually popular! But, let’s get to more important issues, like how was life back in 1987? DC: Well, we were the stereotypical rock band. Women, drugs, booze. JJ: Is that in order of importance? DC: Definitely. JJ: Well, let’s get to how Whitesnake actually got popular. I mean, it’s pretty obvious that no person in your band had any musical talent, your songs were lame, and you sang almost as bad as Alice Cooper! What exactly was it that took you guys to the top? DC: I really don’t know. It was just the times. People were loving the big hair bands. Guys with long hair, cute faces, interesting music videos. Chicks digged us. JJ: It’s dug us, Davey Boy. But, cute faces? If I remember correctly, your face was wrinkled like crazy back then, and weren’t you in your 30s? DC: Yeah, it’s called drugs, Jakey Boy! Probably the equivalent of my face in the music world today is Snoop Dogg. He’s in his 30s, yet looks like he’s ready to collect Social Security. JJ: Yes, that’s true. But, don’t you think you have to attribute at least a great deal of success to your ex-wife and model/actress Tawny Kitaen? DC: Yeah, well, I mean Tawny was in the videos. She was sexy. She was provocative. She danced on convertibles and made out with me and stuff. JJ: So, she was basically the only reason guys bought your album? DC: Yeah, pretty much. JJ: What do you think of Tawny’s recent problems with her now ex-husband Chuck Finley? DC: Well, if you’ve ever seen the way Chuck pitches, he deserved that kind of abuse! JJ: But seriously? DC: (he laughs) Haha! But seriously! That’s a name of a Phil Collins album! No, but seriously (he really emphasized it when he said it that time) I wish Tawny the best, and Chuck as well. It’s an unfortunate incident, and they both have problems. She with her mind, and him with his arm. JJ: Have you no shame? You, with your long hair and British accent! DC: You know you wish you had both the hair and the voice. JJ: Actually, no. I find Crocodile Dundee’s Australian accent much more appealing. Anyway, do you ever look back on your times and get embarrassed? I mean, by the way you looked and dressed. DC: What are you talking about? I haven’t really changed the way I looked since we were popular. I still dress in tight ass clothes and still have my long, womanly hair. JJ: Oh yeah! Oh, well, I’m sorry. Don’t you think it’s a little crazy that you’ve kept the same wardrobe? Does Miss Havisham ring a bell to you? DC: No, who’s Miss Havisham? JJ: Oh, I’ve forgotten. It’s so obvious from your lyrics that you have a weak educational background. Anyway, the most important question is what are you up to now? DC: Well, now, I just relax with the little money I have left from the Whitesnake fame. I’m working on a solo album now. I occasionally do gigs with the old Whitesnake crew, and then I will do interviews for VH-1 since they seem so obsessed, for some reason, with big hair bands! JJ: Yes, and your band has yet to do a “Behind the Music” episode? DC: Yeah, unfortunately, we don’t really have interesting stories that would garner a “Behind the Music” episode. JJ: Come on! Any type of story will do! Hey, even “Weird Al” Yankovic got a “Behind the Music” episode! DC: Yeah, I know, but what I can I say? They haven’t offered anything to us. JJ: Do you keep in touch with the rest of the band? In fact, I know someone who used to be in the same neighborhood in California with your drummer, Aynsley Dunbar. DC: Yeah, like I said, I do gigs with them every once in a while. Ah yeah, Aynsley did live in California for some time. JJ: And my friend says his house was filled with platinum awards, etc.! DC: It was? So he was the bastard who took all our awards! That bloody liar! JJ: Woah! So I guess that will lead into the end of this interview! Any final words? DC: Yeah, I’ll be back with my new solo album coming out probably in 2003, so look for it in stores! JJ: Yes, and we hope it sells better than Milli Vanilli’s second album. Good luck, mate! DC: Cheers!
				The power couple of 1987 pose together on a cover of a Swedish magazine!
		This interview is for entertainment purposes only. Mr. Jarmell was not lucky enough to interview the real David Coverdale, but if Mr. Coverdale ever somehow gets around to reading this, we hope he finds the humor in it. If not, please e-mail us, Mr. Coverdale, and we will gladly take this off our site because, hey, we don't like the word "lawsuit"!