“Lana, Lana, Lana.” Lana’s parents had a tough time choosing her name. Her dad really wanted her to be named “Julia”. But her mother insisted that knowing this language and it’s lazy American tongues, too many people would drop the beauty of that name. Soon it would be Jul-yuh. No “ee” sound anywhere. She couldn’t let her daughter be another plain jane Jul-yuh, and simply refused to let that be her precious child’s name.

Lo and behold, the lazy American tongues also destroyed Lana’s beautiful name. I painfully put her name in phonetical spelling, but it must be done in order to understand the true beauty. Lah-nah. That is her given name. But those lazy American tongues have made it become Lay-nuh. Lay-nuh. And thus Lana’s mother’s influences on her only daughter were ruined.

“Lana! Are you listening to me?!” he cried.

“Oh sorry, yes, yes I am,” she responded, “I guess you just said Lay-nuh to quietly for me to hear.”

“What are you…I was almost screaming it! Whatever, nevermind, look at this!”

“CAMERON!” Lana pronounced meticulously, Cam-er-on, not Cam’run. After her careful pronunciation, Cameron dropped down unconsciously.

Lana tried to clot the blood. She tried and tried and tried. She tried until Cameron’s blood soaked clear through her clothes and began forming a puddle on the floor. Linoleum, so it was easy to clean up afterwards. But Lana wouldn’t know that, because she wasn’t the one who cleaned it.