Eyes closed
She feels the downpour on her skin.
A silver knife
On the vein of her left wrist.
Now the white walls
Of a psychiatrich ward.
The screams of the girl three doors down on the left
And the babbling of the boy two doors up on the right.
She doesn't want to eat
She doesn't want to speak
She stares out the window at the falling snow
And wishes for something to read.
She doesn't want the doctors
Or the medicine.
She wants to go.
If they won't let her join her mother in the graveyard,
Then she wants to be home with the cat and the iron fireplace.
Visiting hours were over long ago,
But the boy across the hall is still yelling at his father.
They'll want her to go to sleep soon.
She'll lie down and close her eyes
And wonder why she couldn't reach the light.
The tunnel that streched forever
With the indescribable beauty
That she couldn't reach the end of.
Then, when they've made the third round,
She'll get up
And watch the snowflakes falling to the ground.
They don't check her room during the fourth round
So right before the fifth,
She takes the sleeping pills
That they think she took hours ago
And drifts off to dreams.
Of walking in the mountains
And trees in the rain.
In her dreams she finds peace
But she wonder how to bring that peace
To life.
I want to give her a hug,
And tell her everything will be alright.
But I can't
And I don't really need to.
I think she already knows.
She is strong
She will get through this
And she will be a better person because of it.
I come now to the end of this story.
There will be more
But for now I leave her sitting by the window
Watching the snowflakes
fall.
