NECESSARY LOSSES
The stages of grief begin with the obvious...Loss... Personally, I haven't found the end of the stages.
Grieving is the term used when a loss is felt, and the emotions involved when loss has entered your life. Loss is a constant condition of life, and it's affect is all pervasive. Below is a poem in response to the power and scope of grief at the hands of it's cause: Loss.
Loss is here to knock out
oblivion
to knock with deafening awareness
that all will come to it
one day.
Loss will be known
as the invisable, patient
God of life,
ignored until needs manifest
and pillage every thought
of comfort and safety
and Loss comes winking
and waving it's pristinely
perfect banner, snapping
in cold sudden storms
no one warned of
and none can batten down against
without acceptance
without spreading arms
spreading legs wide
and offering self-sacrifice
to come plunge in
and therefore
negate the rape in abeyance
and birth the bastard
into life, taking our blood and sinew
with knowledge, giving nothing more
and losing only
the time it takes to vacate
and pass away.
Copyright 1997 Lisa Nerone
IN MEMORY AND IN LOVE...
Dear Grandma...
...of Jessie Buldoc. Your strength and efforts were inspiring enough that I thought of you in my adult years, and held onto the memory of what you were forced to endure: raising two small children alone, in the bowels of the Bronx' projects, working a supermarket job. God Bless you in your after-life. We all know you deserve it.
...of Lori DeJesus Ramos, who died suddenly in her sleep at thirty-five, whose death caused such grief that it almost brought down a thriving company. We couldn't accept, couldn't understand, couldn't believe that the shear force of her was no longer available to us. You were the first one to go Lori. I couldn't stop crying for you, and then it seemed God had started to take possession of His, of those I knew, marking you, as was your custom, the leader, and I ask you both to stop this train before my world is emptied... I love you Lori, and I miss you. Love Always, LisaBell.
... of Laura Ortiz, who died suddenly at forty-two, who never healed from the loss of her daughter, but managed to rectify the scars left upon her other three children, leaving them, yes, but leaving them knowing and finally believing and understanding their mother loved them much more than her own life. What I remember most of you Laura is your radiant smile, and I know now that you're back with Allison, that radiance is two-fold.
...of Grandma, who died just before Christmas 1996, and managed to leave us not bereft, but full of her. Thank you for never giving up, for showing such strength and determination that we were enriched by your life, and ultimately, by your grace in passing out of it. And thank you for the sparrow. Ronnie and I knew it was your final wave and gift of hope. Merry Christmas in heaven Grandma.
... of Bobbi Aylward Strob, who left behind a community full of her sunshine, and full of grief. Even I, who never met you in body, grieve your passing. Thank you for being here for me when I came to your home, for talking to me when I was alone, and of course for Kim.
In Memory and Love To Bobbi
... of Lou Allen, who befriended and loved me for no reason at all, who uplifted me as soon as he walked through the door, who made it his business to spread love and live his last years being a caring, devoted, cheerfilled, straight, surrogate father and grandfather (in my case) to the gay community of Phoenix, Arizona. Thank you, "Mr. Lou", for sharing so much love and humor with so many who had so little. I miss you Louie.
... of Justina Nerone Luongo, my aunt, whose sparkling eyes forever held a smile, and whose laugh came quick and infectious. You were a sweetheart, and I know the turmoil you went through while Grandma receded deeper and deeper into Altzeimers. We love you and won't forget your girlish beauty.
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