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DRCs for Tuesday, April 9th, 2002
Bear hunters welcome.
I have a suggestion. Instead of updating because Van Roosta sent in so many comments, why not consider everything he sends in one, really big, stupid comment? Then you'll be able to ignore him all at once and go back to your lazy sumbitch update schedule all at once. Easy!
-Pezmaster
Oni Locke: No, y'see, it's more fun and challenging to answer every one of VanRoosta's comments, because it means we get to make fun of him more. Duh.
Oni Locke: Yo VanRoosta! There, I greeted you. Now shut the monkey up.
Oni Locke: Sadly, no. Although I continue the tradition of "Kill VanRoosta Day" and have upped the prize money. So, bring out your dead VanRoostas when you need some cash. Of course, I never said the prize money would be coming from me, so for all I care you can take the money off of his cold, lifeless body. You'll get money AND the chance to feel up a corpse!
No fair, I wanted to join the staff a long time ago. A LONG TIME AGO, MAN! Where's the love?
-Sniick
Oni Locke: Not here, apparently. Since I have no control over these things, I can only offer my condolences. And mockery. Neener neener neener!
Now that poeple have returned to the site, so must the U-Vibe! -Sven
Oni Locke: Since when was it that you were allowed to decide the fate of the Unofficial Vibes?
Wow, there's actually other people in the world who have seen the Clerks animated series. Oh, and for the love of god please delete some of Roostie's DRC's, or I may stop coming here again. -Sven
Oni Locke: Yes, I too have the Clerks animated series on DVD and love them all. As for your comment on deleting some of VanRoosta's DRC's, as I mentioned earlier, we enjoy making fun of him. At least I do. So they stay.
Your Netscape support sucks! I hope you're happy for making me dig through my start menu for the one Internet Explorer shorcut that's still on my computer. For that, you get a penis: 8==>··.
-Josh Townzen
Oni Locke: Wow, thanks! I've always wanted a penis!
...What?
Why don't you let Vanroosta me be staff?
-Capn Nintendo
Oni Locke: Because I don't have authority here. And for asking that question, VanRoosta must be killed.
Oni Locke: You know, VanRoosta pulls this fake crap so much that it's not even remotely funny anymore. In fact, it was never funny to begin with. So let's just kill him and get it over with, okay? (Oh yeah, if this is really Capn Nintendo, I pity you, since you felt the need to send a UDRC saying "Yo bear!" I really do.)
I will kill this "vanroosta" for a price.. -Jango Fett
Oni Locke: I've already set a price. Whatever you can leech off his cold dead body.
Was the comment before mine vanrosta's? If so then I owe my chao 5
bucks.
-ZeoGold
Oni Locke: You'd best pay up. Those Chao can get deadly when they're not compensated. Or something.
Yo Bear!!!!!! Wait! I'm not vanroosta! Ahhhh! He's infested my brain! -ZeoGold
Oni Locke: It's okay. We'll only add you to the list if you continue this behavior.
I come from the net... I search through systems, peoples, and cities for
this place Nintendorks ~Lite~. My Format... Dork, to play and replay...
-Bob
Oni Locke: Well, as long as you're not out to destroy us all, I guess I'm fine with whatever you want to do.
If I was a staff member, make comments with a lot more substance than I
do now, that's for sure. -ZeoGold
Oni Locke: I think you left out a word or two.
How do I keep coming up with all this grade A material? -Vanroosta
Oni Locke: I don't recall ever thinking of your material as "Grade A."
Gotta love someone sad enough to impersonate ME.
-VanRoosta
Oni Locke: Also gotta love someone who knows when to shut up.
Would you like a chocolate pretzel?
-PezMaster
Oni Locke: Why yes, I would thank you.
My nintendo loving co-workers say it's blasphemy for me to show
abosuletly NO interest in resident evil for GC. Should I just tell them to go
frell themselves?
-ZeoGold
Oni Locke: Actually I think you should go frell youself, blasphemer.
What can I do to pass the time between now and when Resident Evil comes out??
-Garman
Oni Locke: Well, I guess you could go frell yourself like ZeoGold, or just send in more DRCs.
The reason why I wanted the Captain Planet theme song is just because it
was so bad I wanted to hear it again. I couldn't stand listening to the whole
thing though.
-OmniLink
Oni Locke: What?? You're most certainly not a true Planeteer, then.
I guess it wouldn't make sense to take hylien off the dead staff members
list.
-OmniLink
Oni Locke: Must you criticize everything we do? I don't see YOU doing anything about it. Oh yeah, he's technically undead since he's a vampire, or something, so I guess he should stay on the list.
http://vanroosta.netfirms.com/tombstone.jpg
-DeadRoosta
Oni Locke: I didn't know youwere 89 years old.
Cheerio! Awful business this death. Quite a downer, eh?
Oh, right... BRAINS!!!
-ZombieRoosta
Oni Locke: Yeah yeah I know, more brains. You won't find any here! HaHA! Wait...
I think you're lying. I don't think the stone is very happy.
-VanRoosta
Oni Locke: The stone'll be happy whenever I want it to be.
http://www.headlinehaikus.com/
I'd write one, but I suck.
-VanRoosta
Oni Locke: Took you long enough to admit it.
VanRoosta: he says
Yo bear! Lite staffers want him
to die, but does not.
-VanRoosta
Oni Locke: Yeah, it's a pity, isn't it?
http://vanroosta.netfirms.com/onibear2.jpg
My greatest work.
-VanRoosta
Oni Locke: Awww, a present? For me??? Thanks! Now where's my shotgun...
I can't believe hylien007 offered an entire box of cookies to kill that
VanRoosta guy. From what I've seen VanRoosta send in, you could get a homeless
person to do it for a nickel.
-Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Fan
Oni Locke: Yes, but everyone loves cookies! Who loves nickels? Nobody! Not even bums! What can they do with them, anyways? Oh wait, chuck them at VanRoosta's dead corpse. I guess they do have a use.
Oni Locke is a damn filthy communist, and you know it...I can just see
the look in his eyes, of pure unadulturated pinko commie death. DOWN WITH ONI!
UP WITH AMERICANISM!
-Conspiracy Theorist
Oni Locke: Right... Well, it doesn't matter what you think. Even if I was a communist, at least we'd have a common goal. that goal being, of course, the decimation of VanRoosta.
Why do you keep sending yourself UDRCs and pretending they're from
VanRoosta? He couldn't have sent all those UDRCs because he was in the bed with
me all day.
-chrunck
Oni Locke: What??? VanRoosta's Carrie?
Oni Locke: This is oddly familiar.
http://vanroosta.netfirms.com/onigfmod.jpg
-VanRoosta
Oni Locke: Did I ever mention that you have entirely too much time on your hands?
Oni Locke: How unoriginal.
Oni Locke: Sure I'm sure!
So it's 6 now?
-VanRoosta
Oni Locke: Yes it is.
Oh wait, that was 7. So this makes 8.
-VanRoosta
Oni Locke: Wow thanks for the update. I was thinking that I had forgotten how many more DRCs I had to answer before you stopped bugging me, but I guess I didn't need to worry about it.
Okay, I'm coming back to the site and developing a new, cleaner layout.
When do I start?
-Mizar66
Oni Locke: If it were up to me, I'd say right now. But it's not, so ask Boris.
PMBorisStoke: I almost feel like saying you don't start simply because of your extreme cockiness. However, seeing as how you're faster than Goober and could this place some good I say you start whenever you feel like it. Though not necessary I would suggest creating this new layout on a new server. GeoCities is giving us that data transfer error again. While you're at it you can create a staff profile section because I've been too lazy to make one.
The End of Something Not Very Special, by Oni Locke
Well, for my first DRC update, I think I did rather well. And by rather well I mean rather well in not succumbing to my temptations and killing VanRoosta, not rather well as in doing a good job. I think we all know I suck.
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