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DRCs for Tuesday, September 18, 2001
Imposters be damned!

Okay. FIRST OFF. The Luigi's Mansion review from Famitsu that I sent in a couple times, that kept getting HACKED UP. Now, I'm in control! So you have no CHOICE but to read it! Wahahahahaha!

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Luigi's Mansion:

Famitsu score: 9 9 8 8 - 34/40 (gold)

The review crew were all in agreement that the control method was tricky to get to grips with, but after a short time, found themselves enjoying dual analogue method, saying the better you got, the more interesting the game became. The structure of the game was said to be well thought out, with the new game play elements or 'tricks', being of a high standard, and well balanced throughout. Technically, the visuals (animation and ghosts in particular) were said to be outstanding, lending to the overall atmosphere. One reviewer said that there is almost nothing to complain about; indeed the only real criticism came from one who thought Luigi's (walking) pace to be somewhat slow.

Thoughts so far:

Having played through the first level and worked my way into the basement, I have still to scratch the surface of this title, and its habit of throwing up new 'tricks', as the Famitsu crew would call them, has kept me more than happy. The basic mechanism of capturing ghosts with a vacuum cleaner is the staple of the game's encounters, but don't worry, as this is the most pedestrian of its uses (and even this is a lot of fun). The key to progress is thorough exploration of your surroundings. Rooms can be viewed in their entirety by using your Game Boy Horror, which acts like the 'look' function in Super Mario 64 and the Nintendo 64’s Legend of Zelda titles. You can also use this to examine particular areas of a room, and if there is anything of interest, it will inform you. Your vacuum must be used in conjunction with your surroundings to open the way forward, with the promised use of water and fire as new elements to aid you as the game progresses. At present I have just been assigned the task of hunting down fifty Teresas (Boos), which I released from their basement prison. To do this, I had to unlock a room, clear it of two ghosts and look at the 'transparent' wall using my GBH to reveal a button adorned with the words, "Do not Press". After naturally ignoring this instruction, the wall next to me began to move away, revealing a grille in the floor and a poster of an imprisoned Boo on the wall. Using the hoover to remove the poster reveals another button, which when pressed, opens the grille, flooding the mansion with Boos, and so begins a game of hide and seek. Backtracking upstairs and entering a previously cleared room, I noticed a curious bump under the tablecloth, which as I removed it, started tittering, and flew out to reveal a grinning Boo. This is actually a side quest to the game proper, and hopefully gives you some idea of what to expect. If it doesn't grab you so far, don't worry, it will. As for the visuals, I don't think we'll have to wait for Mario Sunshine to see a more mature style emerge. An example of this is the first 'boss', who is the giant ghost of a baby who tries to dispatch you with floating wooden rocking horses, in a scene, which owes more to David Lynch than Nintendo. As I said, this isn't a review, so I'll leave it there for now. All I can say is, for those who have a GameCube arriving next week; you have a treat in store...

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SO THERE. Doesn't sound all that bad, eh? Now then. On with the DRCs.

    "The sound of music" was the one redeemable quality of yesterday's UDRCs. Now never pretend to imitate Brandon again. -Jai Deliete
The Chimp: Believe me, the imposter will be punished. Pretending to be Brandon is just sad. He's just a man, people! Not a god! If you can't be amusing on your own merits, don't try and mooch off the merits of another! I'm gonna say this much right now. The UDRCs, in my humble opinion, shouldn't try and imitate the original DRCs in any way. They were Brandon's baby, and he did them how he saw fit. If another staff member answered them for a day, they answered them in their own style. One should be true to their own sense of humor and writing style when they do these things, and not just try and do it like Brandon did. Like Borris! Lookit all that communism! I mean, for Christ's sake! That's the way it should be done!

Okay, that's enough ranting about this particular subject. Let us never speak of Brandön again.

    Brandon r0x0rs. -Gemini
The Chimp: Hey, what did I just say!
    BASTARDS!!! You ALMOST had me fooled into thinking that was the real deal yesterday. Then I realized something...since when the hell does Brandon actually laugh THAT much?!? This Brandön (notice the little marks above the o) must be sentenced to death for making us miss the real Brandon even more. Bastard...*sniffles* -Cap'n Smite
The Chimp: Wow. Lookit all that outrage. Good thing there was that umlaut in the name. Otherwise, who KNOWS what kind of hate mail we would've gotten!
    If this Brandon person was the real Brandon, I saw for shaaame. Look at the crap he had to put up with. Little Timmy, Kazooie and Banjo, Jesus Christ... I'm betting that all of those were Aero God, by the way. Anyway, let's try to do better next time. -Amazing CAP
The Chimp: I'm usually of the opinion that no matter how crappy the comments send in are, there's still the potential for humor. But this time... Jeeze, people! Send us some comments that DON'T suck!
    Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? -Zack
The Chimp: In the gutter, where she belongs. Her career went from explorer to cheap whore faster than any chick I've ever seen.
    Everyone ewho owns a GBA should buy Advance Wars. -ZeoGold
The Chimp: Thank you for that stunningly detailed review. With information such as yours available on the net, why would one ever decide to subscribe to a print publication?
    Hey! You sunk my battleship! Frell You! -ZeoGold
The Chimp: Frell? What are you, Finnish?
    This is the third DRC I've sent in a row! -ZeoGold
The Chimp: And we're all very proud of you.
    Sie sind nichts! -German Brandon
The Chimp: Since the umlaut is a german punctuation mark, wouldn't that make you Brandön? You bastard!

Answer me this

I want a GameCube. But to afford one, I might have to work in my college's cafeteria. Is it worth the sacrifice?