Tears and Rain

By Gabi-hime

http://www.pinkfluffy.net/rurouni/fanfiction/

Chapter 2

After the Rain: The Price of a New Set of Clothes

They'd been travelling along the road for the better part of two days, and the girl, Kuri, had been chatting amiably the whole time. Occasionally she lost herself in huge tangents so wide that he himself had difficulty following her. Soujiro quickly learned to tune her out and instead busy himself with his own reflections. He was always careful to feign interest though. She got quite angry when she thought he wasn't paying attention to her. Still, she seemed to like hearing the sound of her own voice, so his occasional agreements were all the encouragement she needed to continue her observations about the state of the world. Despite the fact that he only listened to her about half of the time, he still enjoyed her constant prattle. Her voice was pleasant, and it filled up the silence. It was an excellent background for his own musings, and despite the fact that it shifted constantly from happy to angry to downtrodden to defiant, he found it all somewhat soothing. After only a few minutes travelling with her, he had decided that she had enough emotions for the both of them.

Still it was very reassuring, having her around. She didn't seem to mind his constant smile, and did not press him about his katana. She didn't even care about the specifics of her emancipation. He found her genuine offer of friendship unfamiliar and foreign, something that would have to be thought out carefully. Of course, Shishio had been his friend, and Yumi had been like an older sister, but they had both known him as the Tenken. His identity as a killer had dominated his whole existence, and he had defined himself by it. Friends can only get so close to a killer, no matter how loyal he may be. Somewhere, in the backs of their minds, they never forget what he is, and they never leave themselves completely unguarded, literally or figuratively.

Soujiro the hitokiri had had several friends among the Jupongatana, but he had thrown that all away when left Shishio's service. He was building his life anew, in an attempt to build it correctly this time. Soujiro the ronin had never had anyone simply offer him their friendship and ask for nothing in return. It made him feel strange. It was like the warm pleasant emotion he had continually felt while in Shishio's service, but it was different. It was somehow fuller, yet sharper and more focused at the same time. It made him want to smile; unfortunately, he could not express this properly as he was already smiling. Still, it is perhaps true that as they trudged along the road heading deeper and deeper into the Kanagawa Prefecture, his smile was more sincere and honest, as opposed to being an absent and benign wall of defense.

Suddenly he was drawn out of his musings by the spirited repetition of his name.

"Soujiro-kun!" prodded Kuri, scrutinizing him, "Are you listening to me?"

Not wanting to provoke her anger (because despite the fact that listening to her emotional gambit reassured him, he preferred her vibrant, eager tone because it seemed to conjure an echo of the same feeling in him -- a reaction that intrigued him) he nodded briskly, "Hai."

"Then you agree with me?" she asked, fussing with the knot of hair on the back of her head.

Here, he was stuck. He had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to be agreeing with. The last thing he remembered was something about high rice prices and the wealthy exploiting the poor. If he didn't agree, then she'd demand to know why, and he'd be in an even tighter spot. He decided that it was safest to simply agree this time and pay closer attention the next time she asked a question. He doubted that the question was particularly important. None of the others of the morning had been. He nodded and smiled pleasantly, "Hai."

"That's great!" she announced, "We'll stop at the next town we come across then," she looked quite pleased with the situation.

Soujiro was completely lost. He expressed his puzzlement without thinking, "Why?"

Kuri looked a bit frustrated, "What do you mean why? To get new clothes for me. It's not like we're going to find some hanging from a tree, or something. Soujiro no baka, you weren't listening to me, were you?"

He sweatdropped a little, and his smile looked almost strained, "Sumimasen Kuri-san, I was thinking about something important."

She looked a little wrathful, but then she softened when she realized that she'd shaken his mask an imperceptible bit, "Daijoubu, daijoubu but you have to agree with me. I can't go around the countryside in this. They'll try and take me to an orphanage or something or at least back to my family. If I look like a servant, then someone is bound to catch me when you're not looking and make me into one again."

He nodded absently, "Hai."

"At least, if we're going to travel a long ways, I need shoes. It's okay on country roads, but in the city I'll have to be careful. Hey! Are you listening to me? What are you thinking about now?"

His smile was unruffled and vacant, yet still as agreeable as ever, "I was just thinking that your new clothes will probably use up the rest of the money I have."

This apparently didn't disturb him at all.

Kuri let out a squeal of dismay and looked quite troubled for a few moments before she put on a very determined face.

"Don't worry, Soujiro-kun. I'll think of something."

 

* * * * * * * * * *

 

As luck would have it, they found themselves at the outskirts of a fairly large town only an hour of prattle later. Kuri was excited, as she hadn't been into a town for a long time, and had never been into a town as a free citizen. She chirped and bounced around Soujiro like a nervous and demented rabbit until he assured her that the town was going nowhere and that she could explore it for at least a solid hour while he plotted their next course. This promise quieted her exuberant display into a sort of repressed glee and with this partially out of her system, she found it easier to actually observe the people and scenery around her.

The town was not particularly grand. The streets were narrow and muddy, so she tried to stay on the narrow wooden sidewalk where she could. Several people on the street paused to stare at her in her dirty, ragged clothes. Soujiro's blatantly unconcealed katana also elicited a lot of unwanted attention. She tried to ignore it as he did and concentrate on the rest of the town.

There were two dozen smells on the air, all mixed together in a bizarre and sometimes unpleasant melange. She knew her own scent was among them, and this embarrassed her. She was in great need of a bath. She determined that she would have a bath at the bathhouse in town before she put on any of her new clothes. It wouldn't do to get them dirty with her body before even going outside. That was stupid. She announced this to Soujiro and he didn't seem very surprised by this observation.

"I assumed you were going to bathe, Kuri-san," he smiled pleasantly, "But I am afraid we have a problem."

She ran over the issue in her mind again, but could find no faults. Curiously, she asked, "Nan desu ka?"

He looked slightly uncomfortable, although his smile never wavered, "None of the stores in town are going to let you in like you are."

She blushed a bright red and stared intently at the ground, "I know. That's why I wanted to bathe."

"But what will you wear after you bathe? You can't put on your old smock. That would just get you dirty again, Kuri-san."

She nodded, catching his meaning, "I can't go to the store until after I have a bath and I don't have anything to wear to the store after I bath."

"Which means that you can't go to the store. We're stuck Kuri-san," he shook his head, but kept his voice level and affable, "Gomen nasai, don't feel too badly about it."

She turned the problem over and over in her mind, worrying it like a small dog will worry a rat. Suddenly she was presented with a very simple solution.

"You go to the store for me. I don't have to go in. You just go get what I need."

He was surprised by this answer, but it seemed feasible. Then he realized why he hadn't thought of it himself, "Ano, Kuri-san, I don't know what to buy for a girl."

And suddenly, her brilliant solution was blown to bits, and she couldn't tell him what to buy, because she wasn't sure of all the particulars herself. She just knew that most women wore pretty kimono. She rubbed the back of her head in frustration, pulling at the knot of hair. Then she had it. It was simple, easy, and solved more than one problem at the same time.

"Just buy me whatever you need."

"Nani?" he asked. That was certainly not the reaction he'd expected.

"Buy me boy's clothes," she reiterated, "I'll pretend to be a boy. It's all I can think of, and I need clothes. Anyway, people won't try to bully me so much if they think I'm a boy. They won't ask questions about me travelling with you either. Plus, if anyone ever comes looking for me, they won't think to look for a boy," she looked quite pleased with herself and her problem solving skills.

Soujiro nodded. She did have several valid points, and it was an easy remedy. "Hai. Good idea, Kuri-san."

She held up her wrist to his, "Just remember I'm a little smaller than you are."

He nodded again politely and added with his personable smile, "I'll take you to the baths, then go and buy your new clothes. I'll be back before you're finished, I promise."

She squealed happily, "You're great Soujiro-kun! I knew I'd think of something!"

 

* * * * * * * * * *

 

Kuri felt cleaner than she imagined possible. It was a fresh, new feeling. She'd washed well, all over, removing all the dirt and filth from her body. Then she'd tackled the knotted mat of hair at the back of her head. Now her hair was loose and wet. She'd brushed it until all the mats and tangles had disappeared. Unencumbered, the straight brown-black mass ran to the middle of her back.

She was happy to find a plain string in the brown paper package that was left for her in the dressing room. She pulled her hair back into a low ponytail and knotted the string around it twice, rolling and tucking the ends of the string into the loop.

The package also contained white linen undergarments, which she knew would take some getting used to. She donned them quickly, knotting the strings tight. She smiled, surveying the package. He'd even thought to get her cloth wrappings to bind herself. She tied the bindings tightly, trimming her slim figure down even more, although it was difficult starting them on her own. She stopped to regard herself in the mirror and her androgynous shape distressed her to some degree. Here she was, with her first set of real clothes, and even now she was loosing the little femininity that working at the inn had spared her. She sighed softly to herself and wondered if she would ever get to move gracefully like a butterfly in a beautifully colored kimono. Then she shook her head. She didn't know how to move gracefully anyway. A kimono would be wasted on the likes of her. Still . . . she banished the thought to the back of her mind and busied herself with dressing.

There was no collared undershirt in the package, apparently the store hadn't carried them. Soujiro had instead provided a linen body sleeve that tied in the back at three places. Tying this was also a pain, but eventually she got it on and secure. The undershirt exposed her neck and her collarbone, but covered any cleavage that might have been visible despite the wrappings.

I don't even look like a girl, she thought despairingly, I look like a boy. I bet no one will ever be able to tell. I'd like to be pretty . . . she cut the thought off again and fished in the package, deciding to don the gi next. She knew he was outside waiting for her. She didn’t want to keep him waiting any longer than necessary.

She pulled on the gi, and the textured dark green fabric felt nice next to her skin. The gi fell open across her chest, but it didn't expose anything that might reveal her gender, thanks to the binding and linen wrap. She didn't allow herself any wistful thoughts about the gi. Thinking unhappy thoughts was probably not going to net her prettier clothes. Besides, as she had already discussed with Soujiro, she had no idea how to wear the pretty clothes anyway. This longing was pointless.

Her hakama came next, and the cream colored garment fit nicely, although she worried for several minutes about lacing the long strings. Finally, she just tucked them into the hakama, and hoped the obi would cover them. She could not help but inwardly berate herself over this as well.

And you want girl's clothes, part of her mind scoffed. You don't even know what to do with boy's clothes.

The obi was also cream colored, although she had no trouble putting it on. Its complexity did not elude her.

I ought to be happy that Soujiro cared enough to buy new clothes for me at all. I'm being ungrateful. No one else my entire life has done something like this for me, and all I can do is think about how it could be better.

And then the other part of her mind took over.

But it's for him too. I'd like to be pretty. I want to be pretty . . . I bet he likes . . . I bet he likes . . .

Her dark green tabi were next, and she found herself silently offering up thanks as the smooth socks slid onto her sore and tired feet. The soak in the water had already done wonders for them, but it felt nice to tuck them into something comfortable. She concentrated on the comfort of her feet and tried to ignore the two inner voices that were plaguing her.

Her sandals were last, and she was pleased to find that although he had guessed at her size completely, he had approximated it closely. They weren't so big that they flopped, yet weren't so small that they were uncomfortable. She tied the sandal's bindings tightly, because she had no wish to loose one while beating any sort of hasty retreat.

All this accomplished, she examined herself carefully. On one level, she was quite impressed with her handiwork, because she was sure that she looked very much like a young boy. On another level, she couldn't help one last wistful look

I want to be pretty for him.

Pausing beside the dressing room door, she took a deep breath and slid the door open, stepping into the common room of the bathhouse.

Soujiro was standing with his back to the door and examining a calendar on the far wall. When he heard her footstep behind him, he turned, the familiar complacent smile quite at home on his boyish face.

"Very nice, Kuri-san. If I didn't know better I would swear you were a boy."

She concealed the small hurt his innocent comment provoked without missing a step, although one voice did get a final tiny rebuttal, I told you. You're a boy to him. You'll never be . . . She cut the voice off before it could do any more damage and responded to his comment with a bluff of arrogance.

"Normally, that would offend me, but I guess it's a compliment now. I guess even my radiant beauty is concealed by this great disguise," she smiled like a satisfied cat for effect.

Soujiro sweatdropped, apparently completely taken in, and said, "Hai, Kuri-san."

The radiant beauty opened her mouth again to ask where they were headed now that her most pressing need was taken care of, when suddenly her stomach rumbled very loudly and informed her of their next destination.

Author's Note:

Because I revised this chapter quite some time ago, the original no longer exists to compare it with. Going over to Tears and Rain proper will only net you a slightly altered version of this chapter. The full rewrites begin at chapter four. Don't worry, you didn't miss anything good in the first drafts :P

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