Martial Arts


Kung Fu

 Reputation: 1960s martial arts movies; Bruce Lee.
Intimidation Factor: 4
Strength Workout: 3
After meditating for a few minutes, students launched into traditional strengthening exercises (push-ups and sit-ups) and then broke into pairs, with one person kicking pads held by the other. It looked to be decent strength training. Their arms got a good workout from the push-ups and punching; abs, from the sit-ups; and the lower body, from the kicking. It was not extreme, and nobody seemed exhausted.
Aerobic Workout: 2
After the strength work and partner work, the class broke into a few groups (according to skill level) and repeated choreographed routines called "kata," which involve a series of punches, kicks, and blocks with an imaginary foe. The class had broken into a light sweat, but was not gasping for air.
Coordination and Balance: 4The rounded slinky movements of the dancelike kata looked specifically designed to develop grace, coordination, and balance.
Degree of Contact:Almost none. No direct body-to-body contact, but plenty of punching and kicking with pads.
Self-Defense Value: The moves were neat to look at, but they did not seem practical. And without sparring practice, it would be difficult to apply the drills in real life.
Overall: Kicking, punching, and an aura of mystery.




Tae Kwon Do

 Reputation: World's most popular martial art, new Olympic sport; lots of kicking; the martial art of the 1990s.
Intimidation Factor: 1
Strength Workout: 3
This rating is a little misleading. The lower-body strength workout was fantastic--my legs and hips were sore for days--but there was almost no strength training for the upper body. We used our arms only for balance and blocking kicks.
Aerobic Workout: 5
We began with everyone standing in lines and kicking into the air. Then we did a long series of running drills up and down the mats. Then there was more kicking: Turning kicks, straight kicks, low kicks, kicks with punching bags, kicks with partners … the list goes on. It was an excellent workout.
Coordination and Balance: 4
Learning how to make contact with the pad (and not, say, the face of the person holding it) was important. Balance was crucial in the sparring.
Degree of Contact: 4
Self-Defense Value: 4
Overall: More a sport than an art; will make short work of flabby legs.



Karate

Reputation: Ralph Macchio in The Karate Kid; the martial art of the 1980s.
Intimidation Factor: 1
When I watched a class at the Feminist Karate Union, I asked some of the students how their class was different from the Seven Star Women's Kung Fu class, which is held in the same building. One woman immediately said, "Oh, kung fu? That's what the mean people downstairs do." This class was approachable and open. And karate's so familiar that you feel like you already know how to do it.
Strength Workout: 2
We started with sit-ups and push-ups, which were the most demanding parts of the class. The kicking and punching made for decent exercise, but I wasn't aching the next day.
Aerobic Workout: 3
The drills (lots of punches, blocking, and kicking) provided some aerobic workout, but were not particularly intense.
Coordination and Balance: 4
Keeping yourself centered while kicking and punching develops your balance.
Degree of Contact: 2
There was some contact in the paired kicking drills with a partner and pads, but most of the physical contact came during the sparring. Yet this was nothing like the tae kwon do sparring: They weren't clocking each other, just repeating the motions of punching and blocking over and over again.
Self-Defense Value: 2
This was entirely focused on form; no full-force contact between students.
Overall: Kicks and punches galore, with a dash of moral and spiritual teaching about self-discipline and obedience.




Brazilian Jujitsu

Reputation: For hurting people.
Intimidation Factor: 5
Although the listing in the phone book advertised the "Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Academy," the sign on the door said "Northwest Fight Club." Inside the club, huge holes had been punched in the walls--some back-size, some fist-size. Huge letters painted on the wall said "TRAIN & FIGHT HARD." The instructor, a handsome young Brazilian man, had a long scar curling out from the left side of his mouth and a fresh-looking purple one by his left eye. When I asked to try the class, he shrugged and lent me a gi (the white outfit most martial artists wear), on the back of which was a drawing of massive snarling pit bull and the slogan "PIT PULLING PURE POWER." I wondered if I was going to need an ambulance to take me home.
Strength Workout:5
The next day every inch of my body was sore--my stomach, arms, legs, feet, and neck. For Olympians only.
Aerobic Workout: 5
This ranks as one of the hardest and most complete workouts I've ever had. After some stretching, we launched directly into hundreds of lightning-fast sit-ups, crunches, push-ups, leg lifts, and scissor kicks. I was quickly panting and my face turned a deep fuchsia. We did forward and backward rolls, learned to escape from various holds, and executed the sort of belly-crawl that marines always seem to be doing in movies about basic training. After an hour and a half I felt close to death, but there was still another hour to go.
Coordination and Balance: 2
Coordination is important, but since you're tussling on a mat most of the time, balance isn't.
Degree of Contact: 5
After drills, the instructor paired me with Isabella for partner work. He demonstrated how to get Isabella into choke-holds and leg-locks, as well as how to escape from them. We practiced on each other. It was a little unnerving to be choking Isabella so soon after meeting her, but she didn't seem to mind. I learned how to go from sitting on top of her with a knee in her stomach to a position where her arm was between my legs and I could break it over my stomach. The end of the class was spent with full-on grappling. Getting your face mashed into someone's armpit was de rigueur.
Self-Defense Value: 5
Jujitsu's few-holds-barred grappling is far more effective when push comes to shove (and worse) than standing arts such as karate.
Overall: Lots of grappling, throwing, and choking. Pragmatic, not pretty. High badass quotient.




Aikido

Reputation: A greasy-haired Steven Seagal incapacitating the enemy in Under Siege.
Intimidation Factor: 1
Despite its reputation, aikido is decidedly nonaggressive--it's about deflecting punches and immobilizing your attacker--and there was a mellow, pleasantly upbeat atmosphere to the class.
Strength Workout: 3
No sit-ups or push-ups, but pulling and yanking on other people looked like it would build muscle, and the rolls worked on your abs.
Aerobic Workout: 2
There was little aerobic work, save for the rolling on the mats (which may explain Seagal's ever-increasing flabbiness).
Coordination and Balance: 5
The goal is to destabilize and control the other guy, so maintaining your balance--and learning to topple your opponent--is crucial.
Degree of Contact: 4
To complete the partner exercises, you had to grab your partner, spin him this way and that, and generally come in very close contact.
Self-Defense Value: 5
Learning how to neutralize a threat was the main goal of the class.
Overall: You don't get to land any punches and it's noncompetitive, but you'll learn how to knock people over.