"Learning to move on..."

@Uootem

As these days slip away one at a time,
I come to realize just how long it has been
since I first found words of you that rhyme
and put pen to paper... the poet's first sin.

It is getting harder for me to breathe.
Smothering in the thought
    of never feeling your arms around me again,
The emptiness that evades my body makes me feel so cold.
For, your love was my blanket, that I lay protected beneath
    my security, my comfort, since our love first began.
And without it I am so lost... and I feel so tired and old.

Lying here contemplating how my next step to take in life,
Is to let you go completely,
    this realization scares the boy inside me.
It puts my mind in a place where
    I never thought I would have to face alone.
It Makes me realize that I am taking up more time in life,
Thinking of all the "what ifs" and the "i should haves", you here today with me.
Dwelling on and filling my mind with false hopes that to another I have never shone.

As I take this my must-do-next step, and head for the mountain to climb alone,
I will try and smile... to face this necessary task with perseverance.
For from that boy of long ago,
      into a strong man I have grown,
And from the mountain peak,
      I will whisper to you my love in reverence.

And while I expect to complete my duty, I know well within my heart
That from time to time these little things will always remind me of you.
And these things will be my always-sure limitations on making a fresh start:
              I will not hear a love song and not hear the words we shared.
                                words whispered and shouted... of how much we cared.
              I will not smell a rose, and not think of your love
                                  soft petals, sweet aromas, beauty beyond belief... and thorns for losing.
              I will not view a sunrise, and not think of yesterdays promise
                                  of a future bright from love in your eyes.
              Nor will I see children playing and not think of you and me in youth,
                                  and what we could be doing today if love had stayed.

Your love is what made me love you...
              and I know I could have done worse
Than spending all these years since passed,
              writing of love in verse,
I do not promise to forget you...
              no promise that I won't sit sometimes just to remember.
Today, it has been a lifetime since I fell in love
              with that wonderful girl who changed my life.
And the next day, will be spent
                      of learning to move on....