"my heart just can't"

@Uootem

I sit here...
            ...as always, pen in hand
and I contemplate...
            ...as always, the hand that fate has dealt....
since you left me alone
            ... such a dreadful day
                        separated from
                                    the love of my life...
                                            for forever, it seems... and most likely is.
                          but I can't admit it.
Destiny argues
            with my ever
                        struggling heart...
... there's bloodshed to endure
            in cursing the mistakes
                        that I have made
                                    now so lonely...
                                            with a heart so empty...
                  all hope so gone... me so afraid...
questioning myself
            for still feeling this way,
                          loving someone that has
                                    another life to lead...

Asking why...
            ... why can't I be strong
                          on by own... find a way
                                      to quit this futile thinking
                                              about a time
                        so certainly passed
... you see my head is hurting
            from all this thinking...
                          from all this pain of yearning...
                                      such a useless mode
                                              such empty emotions...

move on and forget you...
              is what I should be doing
                          but my heart just can't.