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"Growing up with you..."
@Uootem
Until you changed all things for me
I enjoyed playing with girls,
not really thinking of much permanence.
No strong gripping emotions to trust,
only adolescent games of lust.
Never knowing you were out there,
that you would change my disposition,
and turn everything to serious.
All things considered, i wish i didn't understand now.
With the sweet taste of love's precious kiss
I was lost forever, so secluded, so long ago.
I pretend that you still hold love for me
but in reality, you are not missing me,
it was just innocent youthful romantic play.
The kind that only lasts a season
and you think you can forget
yet is played for perpetuity in memoirs.
The first twinkling glance,
that ephemeral look,
when your eyes found mine and
I felt that nudge of true love.
We were magnetized together by some force
I cannot begin to comprehend,
I had to touch you, your lips, your face,
I had to watch you, that wonderful vision,
the smile which you saved only for me...
at least... for that moment,
It is now that very "never thought of tomorrow" that haunts me,
our time together passed by so quickly,
and I noticed too late the concept of its passing.
Now there is some other guy with you
as you continue your trip through life.
Someone told me today
that you have agreed to be his wife.
A sweet moment in the rhythm of time,
as we blissfully looked into each others eyes,
a single insignificant moment played eternally,
So significant to me.
I feel that familiar yearning in my soul,
as I struggle to figure out
where I am, who I am, and where I am going...
And where are you?
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I know it's so foolish to hope,
so futile to hold on to these dreams,
Our moment to share in time is now spent.
This, is the double edged sword of love, of life,
and it cuts so deeply.
He is there, the new man, but does he love you as I do,
unrealistically and foolishly,
not recognizing your faults as I do,
he is there and I am here, far away.
We were together in spring
but he has been your summer and
now will be your autumn....
Oh yes of course, you are my life's love, my meant to be.
When we happen to meet these days...
when I find a greeting for a dear friend,
it's like we were never lovers,
but as we begin to recognize each other,
somehow remember the connection we had,
I am almost lost in the awkwardness...
but knowing what I know,
I would not trade it in an instant.
For I found love with you...
and lost it there too.
I am thinking of you as always,
and suddenly there you are,
disguised as someone else, who are you?
Impostor, yes... my best friend,
soul mate and lover,
I understand you now,
never to forget the love of youth
where everything is temporary.
Always asking what could have been,
but knowing it is not reality,
at last, I know, this is how I am supposed to be.
I mistook your playfulness for the flutter of love,
the ecstasy of a first kiss, euphoria...
A look... a sideways glance,
what I thought was love was passion,
but it was incomplete.
As I see you once and again,
the end of a long day of remembering
I find myself hoping,
not that I will find you again,
not that I will forget,
but that I will always remember
so I can never mistake the true feeling in my heart
In this way I will know that
all my life....
I have been growing up with you.
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