"a garden walk... always you"

@Uootem

I travel alone through this...
garden of memory and of silence
                      on a pathway I have created through the years...
                                          with thoughts of a time more childlike in its innocence.
As I walk and ponder the visions found here
I can see you  in everything there -
                    in the spontaneous, exotic foliage
                                    bursting apace to life without apparent effort...
                                                              like our adolescent love so long ago.
                    in the wind-patterned water of a lake
                                    (where reflection is inevitable, though fractured),
                                                              like my thoughts of our once shared time.
                    in the time-worn garden architecture
                                      monuments to a grander emotion
                                                              like the trinkets collected during our adventures.
                    in the subtle meandering of
                                      the pebble-strewn path I walk
                                                              like the twists and turns of youthful exploration.
I can hear your voice -
          in the gentle breeze
                    that makes the tree leaves dance
                                      like your breath against my neck.
          in the carefree song of birds
                that announce the promise of spring
                                like your whispered words in my ear.
          in the silence of the natural landscape
                far away from the hurry of daily life
                                like the welcomed silence found in recollections.

As I amble my way... deeper still into this compelling place...
                          I suddenly find an eerie clearing... my dreaming stops
                                                        (for here is found the vociferous silence of reality)
                                    grappling with shards of emotion...
                    sharp stinging fragments that remain from the day you left.
                                    the haunting prods me forward
                                                        then immediately pulls me backward,
                                  turns me first this way and then that... I have no direction,
                      no way of finding my way back...
                                                  to you or to reality... I am lost!
A misty fog rises from the tear-moistened earth
        revealing gray-hued veils that block my vision in this place.
                                  as audaciously colored effloresces of remembered moments erupt through
                        from cracks in the granite-like walls of separation time has built
                                                              between us and inside me around my heart
            these walls are cold to the touch... no warmth from your love is found there.

But behind the wall that is too high to scale
                    ...in the stark stillness
                                          the Oneness I remember calls to me...
                                                          a oneness felt
                                                                            with my hand in yours,
                                                                            with bodies entwined,
                                                                            with hearts in sync,
                                                                            with the simple knowledge that love lived for us.
This Oneness I can never forget...
                            oneness that is wrapped in the soft folds
                                                                  of my heart forever.
How long will it continue,
              this journey of my life
                                    through this silent garden,
                                                          steered by your invisible,
                                                                                articulate hands?
And where does it lead,
              this wordless tale of mine?
What is the purpose of this seeking
                      what is sought... and is it still there
                                              what elusive grail am I driven to find?
The un-knowing-ness of lost love... remains unknown.
                There are no answers for me here... only more questions
                                            and the walking, the turning, the mystery of lost love....
                              the re-birth of hope and the death of hope, a cycle unending
as I pass through this garden again...
                  taciturnly observing...
                                      recording all on this page
                                                        the inner and outer universes... of my being
                                        of my destiny unfolding...
                your love lost... but remembered...
I am lost... always in you.