preclusion of an illusion

@Uootem

so many times I have squandered precious ink
to fill uninhabited pages with barren words of hope
that are destined to be misunderstood... if ever shared.

and so many times my breath... the winds of my life
has been compressed into sighs of regret
as I stand drowning on the stable ground called adulthood.

It is all too often in these days of responsibility
that I must suppress luxuriant emotions,
that once were shared with you unabated.

yet, I fall away into the reverberation of echoed words
wading in strange pools of memory's mirkiness 
as I desperately wait for the undertow to carry me away.

suddenly I hear a deafening chortle of boy and girl
that swirls by chaotic movement and prismatic colorations
into images of the rare beauty I saw in your eyes.

hope for tomorrow is a myth fabricated for the weak of heart
in distant moments before, when semitransparent shadows chased
the one who was strong enough to silence love's possibilities.

through the vision of time gone by, everything seems relative, 
but it all crumbles every time I encounter the aura of a memory
inciting me to discover some sanity in why I must write.

for now I must occupy myself with puffy clouds and hazy vision
and laugh and cry without my mind as a guide,
then pause momentarily to reflect on what was once so real.

it's not too late, to take a chance
to decode the abstraction of you and I...
for we share a secret that only first loves understand.