From Habit Alone

@Uootem

I am quietly propelled through the air
to the obscurity of a forever-night dream
without moonlight nor stars to illuminate my path
for clouds of time conceal the only light that I have known
only seductive memories and forbidden emotions serve as my guide.
my heart shivers in the rainstorm of tears that should not be shed
and icy pins of reality provide fatal stinging of my mind...
there is such pain in remembering a lost love...

lost moments soon enough soak my clothes -- beading for they are not absorbed--
then inundating down my age-worn body in torrents of regretting --
filling the shoes that traverse my present day path --
yet the soul of my feet are somehow still dry... there is no understanding...

I descend from my lofty flight... fighting the inevitable crash to solid earth --
lying on the ground of my yearning -- I rock back and forth in a fetal position --
clutching my ankles and moaning softly -- I don't want to be without love
but it is the night of present time -- the void is upon me --
I stumble as I try to rise again -- falling deeper into myself -- too deep this time
for I know I can't escape -- I disappear into the bottomless longing night --
which is in truth the very depths of my soul --
this time I know -- I won't escape... as the poet within writes of my travels.

I am lying dead yet alive in this world the poet creates --
naked and cold -- without a blanket of belonging to someone --
before I recover, it is morning -- patches of sorrow and despair melt around me --
someone touches my arm -- it is the poet -- as he points to the words he leaves for me
as I read each line I cave in to reality as if I were an emptied shell -- soulless --
I open my eyes from habit alone -- there is no one here -- but me -- I rise...
staring at the pages before me... again I discover why he must write...
and another verse is born from habit alone... for it is such a futile deed.