Goosebumps

@Uootem

we are familiar strangers…  you and I
                        (somehow more… and … somehow less, all at the same time)
            intimacy... no one else could understand,
                                              and extraneousness... we both know all too well. 

looking at each other,
          from across so much time...
                                (in one short second)
                  and looking past to something else…
                                                        weren't you….
                                              wondering
                        what the other is remembering… or isn't
            but never saying a thing...
                            never revealing any secrets…
            (if there really are any)…
                            for the embezzlement of memories we share continues...
        recollections of how 'together' we were then...
                                          and how 'together' we are not…
                                      and should not be
              (we both are sure of this…
                                                    aren't we)
in a moment,
            the distance of time between us expands a little more,
                                                      forever divided by lifetime's passing...
                        destiny has nothing left to add...
                so words remain
                                unspoken...
                                          but there are thoughts
                      that can't help but be...
            all in the past,
                        but somehow still fresh on minds...
I can't remember
              the last time that we really talked
                                    for all our "me too you's" and
            all our "we'll last forever's"
                                (youthful banter)
                  were just not enough to survive growing up.
                                                            most likely for the best…
                                        (I keep telling myself)
                          and I mean it…
                  I suspect…
                              but there is something in my eyes,
            first loves always leave a gleam…
                                    and a speck that clouds vision… and reason…
                    and rationality… (if only temporary)
if you looked close enough
          as I stood in front of you,
                    you could have seen something
                                              I could never tell you now...
                          and shouldn't… and won't
              but you could have seen
                              revealed from behind my disguise,
              that I remembered 'us'...
as I listened to tales of your present day…
                        life's achievements and comforts
          I could hear echoes, and in that moment
                                as I realized what is always known
            that a part of me is still yours... 
                                    and I get goosebumps…
                                                  just like the "boy" did
                                  when he saw the "girl"
                    a constant reminder
of all the things from my life
          I can't get used to:
                          as once again
                    I just pick up the pieces…
    from a puzzle
              that would not fit… (exactly)… 
                              but won't go back in the box either…
yet, still you will always be
              the one that always leaves me unfortunate
                                    by my own hesitation... perhaps by yours as well…
                  as for the precious time that we were,
I'll smile and remember it all...
          then I'll turn and go on my way
                                toward another turning point,
          another fork in life's road
                              as adulthood grabs me by the wrist,
                                                    directs me to where I must be
for I have somewhere else and you do too...
                as I get goosebumps
                                        from the delight
              of talking with you again…
if just for a briefest moment.