"COLORLESS"

@Uootem

This my future, a colorless barren-land
where there is no hue of her love
And in my dreams, abyss of hope unjustified,
lost love lives there in black and white.

Alas, abominable dream vision
Why have you come to haunt me again?
Why do you tempt me with the memory of her?
Why do you show me again the fire of her eyes?
Why have you brought the scent of her hair and
      the taste of her skin to my senses?
Why must you remind me of my yearning for her sweetened lips?
When I know i can never touch her, or hold her my arms
All you bring are empty, failures...
      ... aspirations of unfulfilled love
          ... insanity, perhaps.
 
If time were a looking glass mirror,
It would hold a reflection of her love as I knew it
And I could look into it and see all things,
Our past together, My present alone,
And the future... (uncertainty),
Each converging with the others
In one passionate collision,
Head on with reckless abandon,
Living to find for me her love again
But in reality dying...
(time is so cruel when love is lost)... 

I believe in love, but i have no faith in it
I have no assurance that I will find her love anew,
Nor that I will ever get over the impact of losing it.
Twin pathways for my future...
No confidence in which the outcome:

    Her love again arrives for me
          and all will be as before,
              me loving her... her loving me
                    forever... blissfulness 
or
    Her love forever gone away,
          and all will be as today
              love never to be... never to be experienced again
                    but in these colorless dreams of mine
                          the choice is not mine, but fate's

And we are all her familiars, broken... and color-blinded by her realities.