"Useless memory"

@Uootem

This quiescent day of reflection
breeds the silence i have all but become accustomed to,
that familiar aching... as time passes breathlessly
fallen leaves in autumn... beauty pushed away by the wind.
thoughts of lost love visit me here,
for i am musing over my fate
with no sound to overpower its hold on me...
my thoughts focus on the nothing, all the nothing that is left for me
the longing... the yearnings... the useless dreaming... 
overlooking reality, my memories are just for nothingness...
and my hope, doesn't fulfill its aspirations
what once meant everything, doesn't mean a thing..., except to me.
in the vacuum of loneliness, echoes of the past speak loudly,
louder than tears, emptiness is such haunting music,
my mind dancing through a long ago time
forever... never ending, always sweetened sourness,
a bitter taste that lulls me away to dreams
the lullaby that cruelly crushes a flower's petals
I drink the poisonous perfume... intoxicated, i still can not feel your presence,
all that lingers is the pain love-not-realized,
the someday of hope and promises wilting... like roses in the winter's chill,
the wind that moves undetected suddenly to kill, to freeze, to burn
to tear apart, to crush the sinews of my heart...
to take away, dreams and love in the fray
i swallow a sigh, lay awake in my sleep,
hallucinate as you are held behind the gates
love empty, i once thought i knew
alone and silent, i sit and weep,
there's nothing left to keep sacred, 
no warmth, no passion, no contentment, no smiles
just tear stained cheeks and pain to endure,
no compassion or love, just empty arms and useless memory...