The United Order of Stonecutters
SWA Extreme Title Match from Tuesday Titans, 12-22-98. I wrote this for my old E-Fed, and I just thought it was a really good match, so I'm posting it here. I've changed a few things, but left it mostly untouched. I'm planning on drawing a picture of the "aftermath" of the match and scanning it to put here. I think it would look pretty cool.

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Johnny Rodz: The ring has been lowered into the ground, the cage has been put up, and we have no more commercial commitments! It's here! The big match we've all been waiting for! Let's get to the great action ahead!

Ronald Green: This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-triangle elimination match.. It is for the SWA Extreme Title. Your referee is Patricia Hawatt. Introducing first... Hailing from Parts Unknown... Weighing in at 288 pounds... "The Midieval One" The Beast!!!

("Ain't My Bitch" by Metallica blasts over the PA system as The Beast comes from the curtains. He looks around at the cage surrounding the corridor to the the ring area, and surrounding the ring area. He makes his way down the aisle, and climbs under the razor-wire ropes.)

RG: His opponent... From Boston, Massachusetts... Weighing in at 287 pounds... "Dangerous" Dave Taylor!!!

(The crowd pops HUGE as "Dangerous" by Busta Rhymes begins to play. DDT steps out and looks at Beast. He walks down the corridor, but stops halfway.)

RG: Their opponent... From The Bowels Of Hell... Weighing in at 228 pounds... Satan's Disciple!!!

(No music at all plays as Satan's Disciple enters through the curtains. Suddenly, Beast runs from the ring area and attacks DDT as Satan's Disciple watches.)

JR: And Beast is destroying DDT fast! He isn't stopping at all! Beast slams DDT into the cage and throws him down the corridor. Satan's Disciple is laughing!

Daniel Taltito: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Beast is setting DDT up for the Downward Spiral! And... NO! Satan's Disciple slams Beast over the head with a keyboard! Satan's Disciple hits him with the keyboard again! The audience doesn't quite know how to react to Satan's Disciple. Satan's Disciple hits him with a keyboard yet again!

JR: The keyboard is broken in half!!! Beast is bloody as hell, and he's still up! Beast swings at Disciple, but misses, and Disciple nails him with a kick to the gut. Oh no... he's signaling! He lifts Beast off his feet... DOOMED TO H.E.L.L!!!

DT: Lex Luger, step back! This man has the best Torture Rack I've ever seen! Beast is writhing in pain!

JR: DDT is up, and he's charging Disciple before Beast is able to submit! Disciple drops Beast to the floor, and kicks DDT in the face! What a match!

DT: Disciple grabs DDT by the hair, and he's climbing the cage with DDT in hand. Disciple is half way up the cage, and DDT's hair is ripping out of his head! Disciple grabs DDT's neck... CHOKE SLAM off the cage! DDT is going into cunvulsions on the floor, and Satan's Disciple is gloating like a mad man! He jumps off the cage, and Beast is getting up now.

JR: Wait a minute... Disciple is telling Beast to attack DDT! Disciple is practically ordering it!

DT: And Beast does as he's told! I can't believe it! He's attacking DDT! He's really putting the boots to him.

JR: This match ain't turning out to be hardcore at all! This is a normal match with a cage and some razor-wire for decoration... I stand corrected! Beast just threw DDT THROUGH the razor-wire ropes, into the area where the ring is supposed to be! DDT's face is cut and bloody. Both Beast and Disciple are attacking DDT now!

DT: Noooo! Disciple just threw Beast into the cage and the razor-wire! Beast has a HUGE laceration on his right arm now... hell, I'm surprised the man could wrestle after what DDT did to him earlier.

JR: That was nothing! DDT's nothing! Satan's Disciple is my pick for this match!

DT: Disciple picks DDT up... he's going for the Doomed To H.E.L.L... but no! DDT nails him with a low blow! DDT fighting back now!

JR: Hold on a minute... it's... it's...

DT: It's SWA Commissioner Harrington Thorne! He's walking right into the battle zone! He's in that cage! DDT's watching him, and wipeing blood from his eyes. Disciple is just getting up... and Beast is still screaming in pain in the corner!

JR: Thorne has DDT's barbed wire noose!!! Thorne just threw it to DDT, and DDT has a smile across his face! What's he gonna do with that?!

DT: We're about to see, as he's going over to the injured Beast... and he straps that thing around Beast's neck! Beast is trying to get it off his neck, but DDT nails him with the Drop Of Death! Beast is gone!

JR: No he's not! DDT is picking him off the ground, and now Patricia Hawatt is asking him what's he doing! I'm gonna have to ask the same question... what the hell is that man doing?!

DT: He's climbing the cage, with the end of the noose in hand, and with Beast on the other end of the noose! He's... he's tieing the top of the noose to the top of the cage, and Beast is now awakening from his trance!

JR: Beast is choking! He trieing to get out of that noose, but DDT has jumped off the cage, and is attacking Satan's Disciple now!

DT: Patricia Hawatt is asking Beast if he wants to submit, but she's getting no response! And Satan's Disciple is taking a whoopin from DDT.

JR: Ha ha! That loser, DDT, is walking out! Thorne asks him where's he going, but DDT keeps walking!

DT: Back in the ring, Disciple is walking over to Hawatt... and he just picked her up... Doomed To H.E.L.L! Patricia is up in the DTH, and Harrington Thorne has just climbed over the razor-wire ropes, and he's telling Disciple to put her down!

JR: Get her, Disciple!

DT: Harrington is trying to pull Hawatt from Disciple's grasp, but to no avail! Here comes DDT! He's pushing a dumpster to the ring!!!

JR: He's sees what's going on now, and he's rushes to the rescue. Thorne was just thrown to the ground, and DDT is now punching Disciple in the gut. Disciple drops Hawatt, but it looks to be too late. She's passed out!

DT: And Beast is passed out, too! His face is bright red! I THINK HE'S DEAD!!!!

JR: Disciple just slammed DDT down with a DDT! And now he's going to Beast... and he yanks Beast down from the top... but it may be too late. Disciple is slapping him in the face trying to get him to wake up, but it ain't happening!

DT: DDT is up and he's running towards the dumpster he brought out. And... he just pulled out hedge clippers! And... he's cutting the razor-wire ropes! They fall to the ground, and now he throws the clippers down, and goes back to the trash can. He's...

JR: He's pulling out a ladder!!! And now he's dragging the ladder back to the ring area!

DT: He sets the ladder up in the center, and he taps Disciple on the shoulder. Disciple turns around... oh! DDT just straight kicked him in the face, and Disciple is unconscious!!! DDT grabs Beast now... and he drags him to the ladder.

JR: He's dragging him up the ladder... and he sets him up for the Drop Of Death!!! NOOOOO!!!

DT: Yes!!! Beast has been knocked out again, and DDT goes for the cover... but Patricia Hawatt is still unconscious!

JR: Disciple is up!

DT: So is Thorne, and Thorne just hit Disciple with the hedge clippers! BUT THEY HAD NO EFFECT!!!

JR: Disciple picks up Thorne... Doomed To H.E.L.L! DDT is up and running at Disciple! Disciple drops Thorne and moves, and DDT runs into the cage. DDT shakes it off, and turns around. Disciple gives him the middle finger, and DDT is angry!

DT: BEAST IS UP! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Beast is charging DDT!!!

JR: DDT gets slammed!!! Beast picks DDT up... and Disciples tells Beast to finish DDT off! Beast nods his head... DOWNWARD SPIRAL!!! DDT has blood all over his face now, in his eyes, coming from his nose and mouth! This man is FINISHED!

DT: Beast covers, and Patricia Hawatt is trying to crawl over there... but Disciple kicks Beast off! And... Disciple grabs Beast... Doomed To H.E.L.L again!!!

JR: Beast is going... going... but Hawatt still hasn't gotten to her feet! She ain't even looking at the action! Fucking females!

DT: Disciple looks down and sees that Patricia ain't doing anything, so he drops Beast. He goes over to Patricia and slaps her in the face!

JR: He's pulling Patricia Hawatt up, and he's gonna give her the Doomed To H.E... no!

DT: Harrington Thorne just nailed Disciple in the back of the head with brass knuckles! He must have got those out of the dumpster!

JR: Disciple is laying on his face, and Hawatt is looking around at the carnage! Blood everywhere! Razor-wire sticking out of people's faces! A few weapons scattered about! She doesn't know what to do!

DT: DDT is getting back to his feet now. So is Beast. And they attack each other! Beast pushes DDT into the ladder, and DDT curls his back in pain!

JR: Beast sets up DDT... big power bomb onto the fallen ladder! I think DDT just broke his back!

DT: Look at the way Beast is gasping for breath! He's still feeling the effects of that noose from earlier. Thorne comes up behind Beast... no! Disciple is up and he nailed Thorne! Beast thanks Disciple... but Disciple just clobbers Beast!

JR: Disciple picks Beast up... again... Doomed To H.E.L.L!!! Hawatt is checking! The Beast is writhing in pain!!!

DT: Oh my God! The Beast submits after 9 seconds!!!

RG: The Beast has been eliminated.

(The crowd is wildly cheering Satan's Disciple with only a few scattered boos audible.)

RG: The winner is Satan's Disciple. Time of match: 0:15:46.

JR: But thats not all! This is an elimination match, and Disciple still has to face DDT for the Extreme strap! DDT is up, but he's limping, and he swings at Disciple, and misses!

DT: What a match! And you said it wasn't hardcore! Two people were nearly killed, Beast and DDT!

JR: Whatever, Taltito. DDT swings again, and connects! But Disciple just laughs!

DT: Thorne just threw something to DDT that he got from the dumpster... it's a crowbar! DDT smacks the crowbar over Satan's Disciple's head! Disciple just flew to the ground, and blood is squirting from his head!

JR: That fool, Beast, is running at DDT! But he's gone!

DT: Thorne just threatened Beast, and Beast stopped dead in his tracks! Thorne takes Beast out of here, and Hawatt is checking on Disciple. DDT goes back to the dumpster... and now he's got... NOOOO WAAAYYYY!!!

JR: NOOOOO!!! He's got a TV set!!! He bringing it over to Disciple... Disciple is on his feet... NOOOOOOO!!!!!

DT: DDT smashed the TV over Disciple's head! Disciple went down! Disciple is down! The broken TV is still over his head... and DDT is picking up his barbed wire noose!

JR: DDT takes the Barbed Wire Noose and uses it on Disciple... oh no! Satan's Disciple is writhing in pain.... Satan's Disciple submits in 6 seconds!!!

RG: Satan's Disciple has been eliminated.

(A portion of the crowd is cheering Dave Taylor.)

RG: Your winner is Dave Taylor... Time of match: 0:18:05.

DT: DDT has won the Extreme title! Harrington Thorne is rushing back to the ring area, Extreme title in hand! He hands it to DDT... here comes Phantom and Dr. Death! They're all celebrating! It's a big party! We're out of time!

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