«—¤–^—v—^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^—v—^–¤–»
WARNING!!!
The following program may contain violence, foul language, adult content, racist and sexist remarks, and nudity. You HAVE been warned! If any of this offends you, please delete this now, and don't look back! Viewer discretion is advised.
«–¤–^—v—^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^—v—^–¤–»

(The scene is a sky high shot of the Rosemont Horizon in Chicago, Illinois. The shot changes to an in-ring shot. The camera pans to show the numerous fans in attendance. Then, the SWA theme music plays and Johnny Rodz and Daniel Taltito make their way to the announcers booth. They take their seats and put their headsets on.)

Daniel Taltito: Welcome everyone! This is 1999, and we're here in a sold out Rosemont Horizon, in Chicago, Illinois! The fans are going absolutely nuts! I'm Daniel Taltito, and with me is Johnny Rodz!

Johnny Rodz: That's right, you idiots! We're here to give you all the announcing tidbits on tonight's matches!

DT: In front of us is one ring set up, and right next to it is the spot that the second ring will take up! It'll raise out of the ground at the right time, and we'll be underway for the main event!

(Suddenly, Johnny Rebel's XBWL theme plays, and Johnny Rebel himself makes his way to the announcer's booth. He takes a seat and puts on a headset.)

DT: What are you doing here?

Johnny Rebel: What does it look like, idiot? I'm announcing! I'm gracing the Supreme Wrestling Alliance with my presence! Got a problem with that?

DT: Na... no.

Rebel: I didn't think so! So let's get down to business ... what do we have first?

Rodz: We've got that lowlife loser, Brian Baylor, taking on Sincere!

Rebel: This is a simple match to call. Sincere is too good for Baylor. Baylor's goin down!

DT: All right, let's get the match underway.

Robert Green: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle first ... Hailing from Mexico City, Mexico ... Weighing in at 242 pound ... "The Extreme Luchador" Sincere!!!

(Cha, Cha, Cha by The Flipmode Squad begins over the SWA P.A. system and the fans give a mixed reaction as Sincere makes his way to the ring.)

RG: His opponent ... Hailing from Cleveland, Ohio ... Weighing in at 456 pounds ... Brian Baylor!!!

(Terminal Preppie by the Dead Kennedy's blasts over the P.A. system and Brian Baylor is met with boos as he comes to the ring.)

DT: And Sincere attacks Brian Baylor before the bell! Big huracanrana right off the bat, 1 ... 2 ... kickout by Double B. Sincere starting off quick again with a big tornado DDT. He's going to the ropes now ... frog splash ... no! Baylor lifted his knees!

Rebel: Lucky move by a chump who can't wrestle. Let me tell ya, I'd beat this guy with both hands tied behind my back, and two broken legs.

Rodz: I'd wanna see that!

DT: Can we get back to the match?

Rodz: OH! Sincere just hit Baylor with a brainbuster! 1 ... 2, kickout!

Rebel: Ah, dammit.

DT: Sincere is trying to get Baylor up, but Baylor's too big. Baylor with a chop. Another one. Another one! Now Baylor sends Sincere to the ropes ... boot to the face! Baylor picks Sincere up ... pumphandle slam! 1 ... shoulder up! Sincere just ain't gonna give up this early.

Rebel: Your damn right he ain't.

DT: Can you please watch the language? We're live, and our censors won't be used today.

Rebel: Shut the fuck up! Sincere to the top rope ... big missile dropkick. Baylor's down, but Sincere ain't stoppin there. Sincere pulling Baylor over to the ropes ... superplex!

DT: How'd he get Baylor up?! Where did he find the strength!

Rodz: Baylor's back up! And Baylor just threw Sincere out of the ring. Baylor's outside now ... and his grabs Sincere ... brainbuster on the padded floor!

Rebel: What the hell is he doing now?

DT: Baylor's pulling the mat up! And this Chicago crowd loves every minute of it! Baylor pulling Sincere to the exposed Concrete ... piledriver!!!

Rodz: Now where's he going?

DT: He just got a chair! He lays it on the concrete, and the ref has stopped counting, and he's telling Baylor to stop ... Baylor could get himself disqualified right here.

Rebel: Oh, oh ... I just remembered something.

(Rebel takes off his headset and walks towards the action, picking up a chair on the way.)

DT: What's he doing?! He's lifting that chair high ... and he just smashed the ref in the back of the head with the chair!!!

Rodz: Baylor just pushed him, not a good move. Rebel's looking around and laughing.

DT: OH! Out of nowhere, Rebel smashed Baylor over the head!!! Baylor is out cold! And now Rebel's coming back.

(Rebel takes a seat again, and puts on his headset.)

Rebel: Ok, I'm back! You can turn the volume up once again, `cause I know you want to hear my voice.

DT: Sincere is up, bleeding from the head, and he grabs Baylor, who is bleeding even worse in the head! Sincere slams his head against the steel post.

Rebel: Now Sincere's going back into the ring ... he's climbing the ropes ... corkscrew moonsault!

Rodz: Wow! He nailed Baylor with that, and they're both out cold! But hey, the referee Greg Lewis is getting up now.

DT: And he's going back into the ring, and he's starting to count again.

Greg Lewis: 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ... 6 ...

Rebel: Sincere is getting back up now. And ... he roles into the ring to break the count. Now Baylor's getting up, but Sincere runs into the ropes ... he comes back ... WOH! Big time suicide dive!

DT: Oh no! Baylor slammed his head against the guardrail! He may have a concussion.

Rodz: Another one?

Rebel: Sincere is up and he's happy. Sincere roles in and out of the ring to break the count, and pulls Baylor up by the hair. NO!

DT: Baylor just hit Sincere with a low blow! Baylor throws Sincere back into the ring, and follows him in. Baylor with a double arm DDT!

Rodz: Uh oh! Baylor just signaled for the Devastator!

Rebel: Come on Sincere! Backdrop! Come on!

DT: No backdrops right now ... Baylor has him up ... and down! Devastator power bomb! Greg Lewis gets right on the pin, 1 ... 2 ... 3!!!

RG: Your winner is, Brian Baylor!!!

DT: And Baylor takes the win after a short, but hard fought matchup.

Rebel: Ah dammit, didn't you see?! He cheated! He lifted up the mat and cheated.

DT: But as I recall, you hit him and the ref with a chair.

Rodz: Shut up, Danny! Nobody asked you.

DT: Well, next up, we have a special segment with The Sharpshooter! He'll be talking one-on-one with SWA jobber, The Face Breaker. And this will be an in character interview.

Rebel: What the hell do they want to interview him for? They should interview me! Whatever. Well, then get to it.

(The SWA theme music plays, and The Sharpshooter makes his way to the ring.)

The Sharpshooter: Hello Chicago!!!

(Crowd pops.)

TS: I am The Sharpshooter, and today is NEW YEARS!!!

(Crowd pops again.)

TS: This is New Years Brawl, and today, I'm doing a VERY special Sharpshootin. Today's guest is a man who tries to turn everyone bad, The Face Breaker!

(Crowd chant "You Suck!" and "Jobber!" as The Face Breaker comes down the aisle with his music playing. He enters the ring as the music stops.)

TS: Welcome, Face Breaker.

Face Breaker: It's great to be here! I never thought I'd be at a pay-per-view, but it turns out that I'm at the first one! Wow!

TS: Yeah, that's great. Well, since you are a loser and will never amount to anything in the SWA since you weight about 100 pounds, they haven't given us much time. So, let's get straight to the questions. First, who do you honestly think will win the 30 man battle royal later tonight?

FB: Well ... wait a minute ... I'm in it! I just realized that I'm in the battle royal!

TS: Actually, no, you're not. That was changed early Wednesday morning. See, we've had more people join the SWA since then, and they get in over jobbers and tag-team wrestlers. So right now, there are no jobbers in the battle royal, and there's only one tag-team wrestler.

FB: Ah nuts. Who's in it, then?

TS: Beheader, The Phantom, Legacy, DeaTH, Bob The Ass Kicker, Joe Gragileoni, Satan's Disciple, Mr. Hardcore, The Prodigal Son JJ Pierce, Dave Taylor, The Beast, Turbo, Golden King, Bain Hanson, The Iron Colossus, J.B. Destiny, Ring Troll, Suicide Steel, Doom, Ashe, Fallen, Insane Giant, Black Dragon, Robert Rhoades, Jimmy Stevens, Swingblade, Steve Edwards, Andre Harris, Sincere, and Brian Baylor.

FB: Then I think Phantom will win it. He's a tough man. He took me to the limit!

TS: Well, that's not really all that hard. Next up, what two matches do you think will be the best tonight, and who do you think will win them and move on to an Asian title match?

FB: I think the Fire Pit match will be the best ... and I think the second best will be the Golden King/Bob match.

TS: Okay, one final thing before we haul your jobbing ass out of here, what is the point of your gimmick?

FB: Well, I'm just a bad guy who tries to turn good buys into bad guys because good sucks, and everyone knows it.

Rebel (from the announcing booth): He knows what he's talking about!

TS: Thanks you Face Breaker, but that's all the time we have today. Tune in next time to Sharpshootin, when I'll try to get Bain Hanson on the show! If I can't get him, I'll have The Iron Colossus, but who cares about him, right? See ya next time, folks!

(The SWA theme begins and The Sharpshooter and The Face Breaker leave.)

DT: All right, next up, we have Insane Giant taking on J.B. Destiny! Insane and J.B. are making their debut matches tonight, and J.B. claims he FORCED DDT out of the SWA. We'll see how this develops, and if DDT makes an appearance.

Rodz: Ha ha! DDT's finally leaving the SWA! Well, if J.B. didn't really scare him out, then I know I did! He's a loser and everyone knows I could kick his ass!

DT: Whatever, Rodz. Let's get to the match.

RG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle first ... Hailing from Brooklyn, New York ... Weighing in at 450 pounds ... Insane Giant!!!

(Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana begins and the crowd boos and Insane Giant makes his way to the ring.)

RG: And his opponent ... Hailing from Phoenix, Arizona ... Weighing in at 218 pounds ... "The Future" J.B. Destiny!!!

(Livin on a prayer by John Bon Jovi begins and the crowd gives a mixed reaction as Destiny walks out with Amy and Douglas Wellington, Jr., by his side.)

Rodz: They lock up. Snap suplex by Destiny, followed by a DDT. For one of the biggest men in the SWA ... Insane Giant sucks.

DT: Destiny picks Giant up ... running powerbomb! Wait a minute ... Amy's distracting the ref...

Rebel: She's distracting me, too.

DT: Wellington has a chair! He's in the ring, now. He ... he's holding the chair in front of Giant's face ... and Destiny spin kicks the chair, right into Giant's face! That was the Vandaminator, but Destiny calls it the Destined for Destruction!

Rodz: Wellington takes the chair and leaves, and Destiny covers Giant! Amy leaves the ref alone ... he sees it! 1 ... 2 ... 3!!! I can't believe it!

RG: You winner is J.B. Destiny, in an SWA record time of 17 seconds!!!

DT: No way! Destiny sets a record in his first match in the SWA! I can't believe it!

Rebel: Well, he's pretty good, but he's not as good as me.

DT: Will you stop! That match will go into the SWA record books as the fastest match in SWA history.

Rodz: Come on! Let's onto the next match!

DT: We will, but first ... the SWA's New Years Brawl `99 has been brought to you by Nintendo 64 ... get in, or get out.

Rodz: Oh yeah ... and by Snickers. Hungry? Why wait? Grab a Snickers.

Rebel: If you people are done with your sponsors, could we get on with the show?

DT: All right, next up is the first tag-team match here in the SWA, which puts Beheader and Slayer of Total Annihilation against Eddie Kanyon and The Suicide Flyer.

Rodz: Even though I don't want to admit it, because Kanyon and Flyer could kick TA's asses any day, Total Annihilation will win this match thanks to President Bohringer and all the crap he pulls.

RG: The following contest is a tag-team bout scheduled for one fall. First ... Hailing from Chicago, Illinois ... Slayer!!! His tag-team partner ... Hailing from London, England ... Beheader!!! At a total combined weight of 576 pounds ... Total Annihilation!!!

(The Unforgiven II by Metallica plays as Beheader and Slayer are lead to the ring by E.G.B. to boos.)

RG: Their opponents ... First ... Hailing from Seattle, Washington ... The Suicide Flyer!!! His tag-team partner ... Hailing from Vancouver, BC, Canada ... Eddie Kanyon!! At a total combined weight of 520 pounds ... Eddie Kanyon and The Suicide Flyer!!!

(Breathe by Prodigy blasts over the speakers as Sean Kanyon II leads the team to the ring to a mixed reaction.)

DT: Beheader and The Suicide Flyer start things out. They start out with a test of strength ... Beheader has Flyer on his knees already!

Rodz: He can't match strength with Beheader! He needs to use his quickness.

DT: And he just did, as he quickly his Beheader with a kick to the groin to get out of that hold! He runs to the ropes ... victory roll! 1 ... kickout! Flyer goes to the top rope ... dropkick! And now he picks Beheader up ... goes to the ropes again ... bulldog!

Rebel: Flyer is pretty good, but "The Extreme Luchador" Sincere could teach him a few things.

Rodz: Flyer to the top for a big splash! 1 ... 2 ... thr, kickout! That one was close! Beheader's trying to get a tag, but Flyer pulls him back into the middle of the ring. Flyer with a camel clutch! I can't believe he's slowing the match down like this.

Rebel: That's why I said he could learn a few things from Sincere. I mean, why would a high flyer slow the match down? It doesn't make sense.

DT: Beheader is inching his way towards the ropes, but he's about a half an inch away ... and ... he's .... got it! Flyer has to break the hold. He does, and he tags in Eddie Kanyon. Kanyon goes right to Beheader ... he pulls him back into the middle of the ring, and puts the camel clutch right back on. And Slayer can't take any more! He rushes in and breaks the hold! Now Sean Kanyon is in the ring as the ref is trying to get Slayer out, and Sean nails Beheader with a steel chair! Beheader is out cold, and Eddie is putting Beheader in a scorpion deathlock now. The ref turns around just in time to see it ... and he's gonna lift Beheader's arm.

Rodz: Lift ... it drops! That's one. Again ... it drops! Two! Aga...what the hell? E.G.B is on the apron and the ref quickly gets on it. Eddie Kanyon is calling for that steel chair ... but Slayer rushes in and nails Eddie with a clothesline! Here comes Flyer, but he gets leveled as well! Beheader is starting to stir now, as Slayer leaves the ring, and E.G.B gets down. Beheader is crawling to the ropes ... but Eddie Kanyon is getting up now. He's sees it and he's gonna stop it! Beheader ... tag! And Eddie pulls Beheader back just as the tag was made! Slayer rushes in ... wait a minute! The ref has just turned around to see the action, and he's telling Slayer to go back!

Rebel: Good call by Melee Bearhugger. He didn't see the tag, so Slayer can't come in.

DT: Slayer is protesting, but he's going back into the corner just as well, and now Eddie Kanyon and The Suicide Flyer are double teaming Beheader. Kanyon with a backbreaker as Flyer goes to the top rope ... Kanyon keeps Beheader on his knee ... Flyer with s huge leg drop off the top rope! It's got to be over with that move! The ref looks back as Kanyon makes the win, 1 ... 2 ... E.G.B puts Beheader's foot on the rope!!!

Rebel: What's that! I hate people who have to cheat to win matches.

Rodz: Kanyon tags in Flyer, and Flyer quickly goes to the top for a nice Senton Back Splash! Flyer runs into the ropes and comes back with an elbowdrop! Flyer pulls Beheader back into the middle of the ring and gets Beheader in sleeper! Beheader can't take much more of this.

Rebel: Look at that! E.G.B is running after Sean Kanyon II!!! From what I heard, they've both wrestled in the past, but it shows on E.G.B. Kanyon II is just a little puke!

DT: Beheader has escaped the sleeper! He's hitting Flyer with elbows now ... and he throws Flyer into the ropes ... OH! He just decapitated him with that lariat!

Rebel: To tell ya the truth, that was the best damn lariat I've ever seen.

Rodz: Beheader just tagged in Slayer!!! Slayer rushes in and hits Flyer with a quick legdrop. Another. Another. Another. Another! Man! He goes to the top ... big frog splash. He picks him up ... atomic drop! Slayer is just working over Suicide Flyer.

DT: E.G.B is attacking Eddie Kanyon now! And Slayer is dragging Flyer to the top rope ... he signaled for the Metamorphosis, the devastating top rope tombstone piledriver! OH! He hit it! Melee counts, 1 ... 2 ... 3!

RG: And your winners are, Total Annihilation!!!

DT: TA get the victory after E.G.B takes care of both Sean Kanyon II and Eddie Kanyon! Next up, though, we have a match between Satan's Disciple and Turbo!

Rebel: Well, I don't really like either of these people, but I'm going with Turbo for the win.

Rodz: That's the first time I'm ever disagreeing with you. Satan's Disciple is too good to lose to this chump, Turbo.

DT: Well let's get the match underway to find out who really is the best!

RG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle first ... Hailing from The bowels of Hell ... Weighing in at 228 pounds ... Satan's Disciple!!!

(Lady Death and Satan's Disciple come to the ring as Metallica's Devil's Dance plays.)

RG: His opponent ... Hailing from Chicago, Illinois ... Weighing in at 270 pounds ... Turbo!!!

(The Eye of the Tiger by Survivor blasts over the speakers as Turbo comes to the ring in an MOD shirt.)

Rodz: They lock up. Satan's Disciple attempts to place Turbo on the turnbuckle, but Turbo blocks it. Satan's Disciple takes Turbo down with a powerslam. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, kickout. Satan's Disciple hits a DDT on Turbo. Satan's Disciple is going for the pin. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, kickout. Satan's Disciple attempts to place Turbo on the turnbuckle, but Turbo blocks it. Satan's Disciple hits Turbo with a Death Valley Driver.

(A portion of the crowd is cheering Satan's Disciple.)

DT: Satan's Disciple hits Turbo with a powerslam. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, shoulder up. Satan's Disciple runs into the ropes. Turbo nails Satan's Disciple with a powerslam. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, kickout. Turbo goes for a backdrop, but Satan's Disciple blocks it. Satan's Disciple hits a DDT on Turbo.

(A portion of the crowd is booing Satan's Disciple.)

Rodz: Satan's Disciple places Turbo on the turnbuckle. Satan's Disciple nails Turbo with a superplex. Satan's Disciple uses a DDT on Turbo.

(A portion of the crowd is cheering Satan's Disciple.)

Rebel: Will these idiots make up their mind? Do they like Disciple, or do they hate him? OH! Satan's Disciple nails Turbo with a low blow. Satan's Disciple punches Turbo. Satan's Disciple hits Turbo.

(Satan's Disciple is met with a mixture of cheers and boos.)

DT: Satan's Disciple whips Turbo into the ropes. Turbo hits Satan's Disciple with a shoulderblock. Turbo whips Satan's Disciple into the ropes. Turbo hits Satan's Disciple with a kick. Turbo takes Satan's Disciple down with an Aztecan suplex. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, kickout. Turbo takes Satan's Disciple down with a backdrop. Turbo takes Satan's Disciple down with a power bomb. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, kickout. Turbo whips Satan's Disciple into the ropes, but Satan's Disciple reverses it. Turbo misses with a shoulderblock. Satan's Disciple hits Turbo with an elbow. Satan's Disciple attempts to place Turbo on the turnbuckle, but Turbo blocks it. Satan's Disciple executes a DDT on Turbo. A portion of the crowd is cheering Satan's Disciple. Satan's Disciple places Turbo on the turnbuckle. Satan's Disciple uses a superplex on Turbo.

(A portion of the crowd is booing Satan's Disciple.)

DT: Satan's Disciple places Turbo on the turnbuckle. Satan's Disciple executes a top-rope DDT on Turbo. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, kickout. Satan's Disciple catches Turbo in a cobra clutch. Turbo breaks the hold with an armdrag takedown after 5 seconds.

(JJ Pierce comes to ringside.)

DT: What's he doing here?!

Rodz: Turbo runs into the ropes. Satan's Disciple hits Turbo with a shoulderblock. Satan's Disciple uses a low blow on Turbo. Satan's Disciple nails Turbo with a low blow. Satan's Disciple nails Turbo with a DDT.

(The audience doesn't quite know how to react to Satan's Disciple.)

Rebel: Satan's Disciple runs into the ropes. Turbo misses with a clothesline. Satan's Disciple hits Turbo with a clothesline. Satan's Disciple nails Turbo with a DDT. Satan's Disciple takes Turbo down with a powerslam. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, kickout. Satan's Disciple attempts to place Turbo on the turnbuckle, but Turbo blocks it. Satan's Disciple hits Turbo. Turbo hits Satan's Disciple.

(Turbo is met with a mixture of cheers and boos.)

DT: Turbo hits Satan's Disciple. Satan's Disciple punches Turbo. Turbo chops Satan's Disciple. A portion of the crowd is cheering Turbo! Turbo kicks Satan's Disciple. Turbo executes a DDT on Satan's Disciple. Turbo goes for a Gorilla Press, but Satan's Disciple blocks it. Satan's Disciple whips Turbo into the ropes. Turbo nails Satan's Disciple with a clothesline. Turbo whips Satan's Disciple into the ropes, but Satan's Disciple reverses it. Satan's Disciple hits Turbo with a backdrop. Satan's Disciple catches Turbo in a cobra clutch.

Rodz: Turbo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 21 seconds. Satan's Disciple executes the Doomed To H.E.L.L on Turbo! It's over! Turbo is valiantly trying to break the hold. Turbo tries to fight the pain. Turbo breaks the hold after 25 seconds! No way!!!

Rebel: Turbo runs into the ropes. Turbo executes a clothesline on Satan's Disciple. Turbo hits a DDT on Satan's Disciple. Turbo hits Satan's Disciple with a Gorilla Press. Turbo goes for a powerslam, but Satan's Disciple counters it with a lariat. Turbo takes the Lead Pipe and uses it on him.

(Turbo is met with a mixture of cheers and boos.)

DT: He goes for the pin. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, in the ropes... Turbo runs into the ropes. Turbo hits Satan's Disciple with a clothesline. Turbo uses a powerslam on Satan's Disciple. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, shoulder up. Turbo takes Satan's Disciple down with a powerslam. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, kickout. Turbo goes for a DDT, but Satan's Disciple blocks it. Satan's Disciple goes for a Death Valley Driver, but Turbo counters it with a crucifix. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, kickout. Turbo hits a DDT on Satan's Disciple. Turbo nails Satan's Disciple with a powerslam. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, thr ... shoulder up.

Rodz: Turbo whips Satan's Disciple into the ropes. Satan's Disciple hits Turbo with a kick. Satan's Disciple goes for a Death Valley Driver, but Turbo counters it with a DDT. Turbo is going for the pin. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, shoulder up. Turbo goes for a clothesline, but Satan's Disciple ducks out of the way. Satan's Disciple whips Turbo into the ropes. Satan's Disciple nails Turbo with a powerslam. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, in the ropes... Satan's Disciple whips Turbo into the ropes. Satan's Disciple misses with a shoulderblock. Satan's Disciple misses with a clothesline. Turbo hits Satan's Disciple with a kick. Turbo is going for the pin. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, thr ... kickout. Turbo takes Satan's Disciple down with a power bomb. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, kickout. Turbo nails Satan's Disciple with a backdrop. Turbo executes a Gorilla Press on Satan's Disciple.

Rebel: Turbo is going for the pin. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, shoulder up. Turbo hits a powerslam on Satan's Disciple. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, thr ... kickout. Turbo executes the Turbo Slam on Satan's Disciple. Turbo goes for the pin. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, thr ... kickout!!!

DT: I can't believe Satan's Disciple kicked out of the Turbo slam!!!

Rodz: Turbo goes for a backdrop, but Satan's Disciple blocks it. Satan's Disciple nails Turbo with a Death Valley Driver. Satan's Disciple throws Turbo out of the ring. Satan's Disciple goes through the ropes. Melee Bearhugger counts: 1. Satan's Disciple reenters the ring. Turbo follows him back in. Satan's Disciple goes for a DDT, but Turbo counters it with a backdrop. Turbo goes for a DDT, but Satan's Disciple counters it with a backdrop. Satan's Disciple is going for the pin. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, thr ... kickout. Satan's Disciple executes the Doomed To H.E.L.L on Turbo!!! It's really over this time! Turbo breaks the hold after 7 seconds! No way!

Rebel: Satan's Disciple takes the piece of guardrail and uses it on him. He goes for the pin. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, JJ Pierce puts Turbo's foot on the ropes! Melee Bearhugger calls for the disqualification!!! Satan's Disciple seemingly enjoys the boos.

RG: Your winner is Satan's Disciple!!!

DT: Satan's Disciple gets the disqualification win!

Rodz: That idiots, JJ, shouldn't have interfered. Sure, Disciple would have won anyway, but he cost Turbo the match.

DT: Disciple should have been disqualified! He used a piece of guardrail!

Rebel: Yeah, but that idiot ref was being distracted by Lady Death. If you ask me, all SWA refs suck.

DT: Oh well. Let's move on.

DT: Next up, we have The Phantom taking on Joe Graguleoni.

Rebel: Hold on, I gotta take a bathroom break.

(Rebel takes off his headset and leaves.)

DT: We can't hold the show, so let's get on with it.

RG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle first ... Hailing from Washington, D.C. ... Weighing in at 307 pounds ... The Phantom!!!

(DaNgErOuS by Busta Rhymes begins as The Phantom comes down the aisle with a Dangerous Alliance shirt.)

RG: His opponent ... Hailing from Hoboken, New Jersey ... Weighing in at 479 pounds ... "Fat Ass" Joe Graguleoni!!!

(The Godfather theme begins as Fat Joe makes his way down the aisle to boos.)

DT: They lock up. The Phantom hits a clothesline on Joe Graguleoni. The Phantom uses a Big Leg Drop on Joe Graguleoni. The Phantom goes for a sleeperhold, but Joe Graguleoni blocks it. Joe Graguleoni throws The Phantom out of the ring. Joe Graguleoni goes through the ropes. Joe Graguleoni uses a clothesline on The Phantom. Patricia Hawatt counts: 1. Joe Graguleoni reenters the ring. The Phantom follows him back in. Joe Graguleoni executes a power bomb on The Phantom. Patricia Hawatt counts: One, two, kickout. Joe Graguleoni goes for an elbowdrop, but The Phantom rolls out of the way. The Phantom catches Joe Graguleoni in a sleeperhold.

Rodz: Joe Graguleoni reaches the ropes after being trapped for 11 seconds. The Phantom goes for a sleeperhold, but Joe Graguleoni blocks it. Joe Graguleoni executes the cross-face chicken wing on The Phantom. Joe Graguleoni goes for a headbutt, but The Phantom blocks it. The Phantom whips Joe Graguleoni into the ropes. Joe Graguleoni hits The Phantom with a clothesline. Joe Graguleoni takes The Phantom down with a kick to the groin. Joe Graguleoni hits The Phantom with a headbutt. Joe Graguleoni runs into the ropes. Joe Graguleoni misses with a shoulderblock.

DT: The Phantom locks Joe Graguleoni in a sleeperhold. Joe Graguleoni is struggling to reach the ropes. Joe Graguleoni breaks the hold after 16 seconds. Joe Graguleoni hits The Phantom with a headbutt. Joe Graguleoni puts The Phantom in a chokehold. Patricia Hawatt warns Joe Graguleoni to let go. Patricia Hawatt counts: One, two, three, four, five. Patricia Hawatt warns Joe Graguleoni. Joe Graguleoni nails The Phantom with a clothesline. Joe Graguleoni hits The Phantom with a Big Leg Drop. Joe Graguleoni takes The Phantom down with a mounted punch. Joe Graguleoni goes for a kick to the groin, but The Phantom blocks it. The Phantom hits Joe Graguleoni.

Rodz: The Phantom chops Joe Graguleoni. The Phantom kicks Joe Graguleoni. Joe Graguleoni hits The Phantom. Joe Graguleoni is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos. Joe Graguleoni chops The Phantom. Joe Graguleoni seemingly enjoys the boos. The Phantom kicks Joe Graguleoni. The Phantom chops Joe Graguleoni. The Phantom takes Joe Graguleoni down with a DDT. The Phantom kicks Joe Graguleoni.

(A portion of the crowd is cheering The Phantom.)

Rodz: Joe Graguleoni kicks The Phantom. Joe Graguleoni is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos. Joe Graguleoni kicks The Phantom. Joe Graguleoni whips The Phantom into the ropes. The Phantom executes a clothesline on Joe Graguleoni. The Phantom nails Joe Graguleoni with a Big Leg Drop.

DT: The Phantom goes for a DDT, but Joe Graguleoni counters it with a backdrop. In turn, The Phantom counters it with a sunset flip. Patricia Hawatt counts: One, shoulder up. The Phantom whips Joe Graguleoni into the ropes, but Joe Graguleoni reverses it. Joe Graguleoni misses with an elbow.

Rodz: The Phantom hits Joe Graguleoni with a kick. The Phantom executes the Phantombomb on Joe Graguleoni. Patricia Hawatt counts: One, two, three.

(A portion of the crowd is booing The Phantom.)

RG: Your winner is The Phantom!!!

DT: And The Phantom gets the win over Fat Joe.

Rodz: Whatever. No one cares.

(Rebel makes his way back down the aisle and takes a seat.)

Rebel: All right! Let's get the match underway.

DT: Ummm ... it's over.

Rebel: What?! I wasn't gone for more then a minute!

DT: You were gone for over four minutes, actually.

Rebel: Oh, shut the hell up. Let's get to the next match, then.

RG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle first ... Hailing from Parts Unknown ... Weighing in at 290 pounds ... Bain Hanson!!!

(Genocide by Offspring begins as Bane Hanson makes his way to the ring.)

RG: His opponent ... Hailing from New York, New York ... Weighing in at 231 pounds ... Fallen!!!

(Sean Kanyon II leads Fallen to the ring as Demonoid Phenomenon by Rob Zombie plays over the speakers.)

Rodz: They lock up. Fallen throws Bain Hanson out of the ring. Fallen goes through the ropes. Fallen knocks Bain Hanson into the ringsteps. Fallen is met with a mixture of cheers and boos. Fallen whips Bain Hanson into the guardrail. Fallen goes for a splash, but Bain Hanson gets his knees up. Bain Hanson is handed a road sign. Bain Hanson hits him with the road sign. Greg Lewis counts: 1. Bain Hanson hits him with a road sign. Bain Hanson nails Fallen with a DDT. Bain Hanson hits him with a road sign. Greg Lewis counts: 2. Bain Hanson reenters the ring. Fallen follows him back in. Fallen brings the road sign into the ring. Bain Hanson goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Fallen counters it with an enzuilariato. Fallen takes Bain Hanson down with a Big Leg Drop.

DT: Fallen hits Bain Hanson with an avalanche. Fallen goes for an avalanche, but Bain Hanson counters it with a kick to the head. Bain Hanson whips Fallen into the turnbuckle, but Fallen reverses it. Fallen runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Bain Hanson lifts his knee. Bain Hanson kicks Fallen. Fallen punches Bain Hanson. Fallen punches Bain Hanson. Fallen hits Bain Hanson. Fallen goes for a swinging bulldog, but Bain Hanson blocks it. Bain Hanson whips Fallen into the ropes. Bain Hanson goes for a choke slam, but Fallen counters it with a kick to the midsection. Fallen takes Bain Hanson down with an avalanche. Fallen whips Bain Hanson into the ropes. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with an elbow. Bain Hanson whips Fallen into the ropes. Fallen misses with a clothesline. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a shoulderblock. Fallen throws Bain Hanson out of the ring. Greg Lewis counts: one, Bain Hanson reenters the ring. Fallen executes a swinging bulldog on Bain Hanson.

Rebel: Fallen whips Bain Hanson into the turnbuckle, but Bain Hanson reverses it. Bain Hanson nails Fallen with a front-layout suplex. Bain Hanson executes a choke slam on Fallen. Bain Hanson runs into the ropes. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a shoulderblock. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a bodyslam. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a Russian legsweep.

DT: Bain Hanson is going for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, kickout. Bain Hanson goes for a front-layout suplex, but Fallen blocks it. Fallen nails Bain Hanson with the Ace Crusher. Fallen goes for the Ace Crusher, but Bain Hanson blocks it. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a front-layout suplex. Bain Hanson runs into the ropes. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a kick. Fallen nails Bain Hanson with a Big Leg Drop. Fallen nails Bain Hanson with a swinging bulldog. Fallen goes for a Big Leg Drop, but Bain Hanson rolls out of the way.

Rodz: Bain Hanson whips Fallen into the ropes. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a clothesline. Bain Hanson falls out of the ring. Fallen goes through the ropes. Fallen is handed a baseball bat. Fallen hits him with the baseball bat. They're brawling inside the ring area. Bain Hanson whips Fallen into the guardrail. Bain Hanson throws Fallen back into the ring. Bain Hanson takes Fallen down with a piledriver. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a DDT. Bain Hanson takes Fallen down with a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Bain Hanson is going for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... kickout.

Rebel: Bain Hanson goes for a piledriver, but Fallen blocks it. Fallen whips Bain Hanson into the ropes. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a kick. Fallen goes for an avalanche, but Bain Hanson counters it with a kick to the head. In turn, Fallen counters it with a duck-down move. Fallen nails Bain Hanson with the Ace Crusher. Fallen runs into the ropes. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a kick. Fallen is going for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... kickout. Fallen executes a splash on Bain Hanson.

DT: Greg Lewis counts: One, two, in the ropes... Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a splash. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, kickout. Fallen uses the Absolute Slaying on Bain Hanson. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with the Ace Crusher. Fallen takes Bain Hanson down with the Ace Crusher. Fallen takes Bain Hanson down with the Absolute Slaying. Fallen is going for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, shoulder up. Fallen goes for the Absolute Slaying, but Bain Hanson counters it with a low blow. Bain Hanson whips Fallen into the ropes. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a shoulderblock. Bain Hanson goes for a front-layout suplex, but Fallen blocks it. Fallen executes the Ace Crusher on Bain Hanson.

Rodz: Fallen punches Bain Hanson. Fallen punches Bain Hanson. Bain Hanson chops Fallen. Bain Hanson chops Fallen. Bain Hanson whips Fallen into the ropes. Bain Hanson uses a powerslam on Fallen. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, kickout. Bain Hanson takes Fallen down with a choke slam. Bain Hanson is going for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, shoulder up. Bain Hanson hits a piledriver on Fallen. Bain Hanson is going for the pin.

DT: Greg Lewis counts: One, two, shoulder up. Bain Hanson uses a tilt-a-whirl suplex on Fallen. Bain Hanson goes for a front-layout suplex, but Fallen blocks it. Fallen goes for an avalanche, but Bain Hanson side-steps and Fallen only hits air. Bain Hanson runs into the ropes. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a kick. Bain Hanson is going for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... kickout. Bain Hanson whips Fallen into the ropes. Fallen misses with a clothesline. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a kick.

Rodz: Fallen is going for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, in the ropes... Fallen whips Bain Hanson into the ropes. Fallen misses with a shoulderblock. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a shoulderblock. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a piledriver. Bain Hanson is going for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, shoulder up. Fallen hits the Ace Crusher on Bain Hanson. Fallen executes the Down Fall on Bain Hanson. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... shoulder up.

Rebel: Fallen whips Bain Hanson into the ropes. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a clothesline. Bain Hanson falls out of the ring. Greg Lewis counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, Bain Hanson reenters the ring. Fallen goes for an avalanche, but Bain Hanson counters it with a kick to the head. Bain Hanson hits a bodyslam on Fallen. Fallen takes the stop sign and uses it on him. He goes for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... kickout. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with the Ace Crusher.

Rodz: Fallen executes Absolute Slaying on Bain Hanson. Fallen goes for a swinging bulldog, but Bain Hanson blocks it. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a DDT. Bain Hanson executes a tilt-a-whirl suplex on Fallen. Bain Hanson executes the Bain Killer on Fallen. Bain Hanson goes for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... kickout. Bain Hanson goes for a powerslam, but Fallen counters it with a lariat. Fallen whips Bain Hanson into the ropes. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a kick. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a Big Leg Drop. Fallen throws Bain Hanson out of the ring. Greg Lewis counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, Bain Hanson reenters the ring.

DT: Fallen uses the Absolute Slaying on Bain Hanson. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a splash. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... shoulder up. Fallen takes Bain Hanson down with the Ace Crusher. Fallen whips Bain Hanson into the ropes. Fallen hits Bain Hanson with a clothesline. Fallen whips Bain Hanson into the ropes, but Bain Hanson reverses it. Bain Hanson hits a tilt-a-whirl suplex on Fallen. Bain Hanson takes Fallen down with a front-layout suplex. Bain Hanson whips Fallen into the ropes. Bain Hanson hits Fallen with a kick. Bain Hanson uses a powerslam on Fallen. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... kickout. Bain Hanson nails Fallen with a powerslam. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... shoulder up. Bain Hanson executes a Russian legsweep on Fallen. Bain Hanson throws Fallen out of the ring.

Rebel: Bain Hanson goes through the ropes. Bain Hanson knocks Fallen into the ringpost. Greg Lewis counts: 1. Bain Hanson is handed the ring bell. Bain Hanson hits him with the ring bell. Greg Lewis counts: 2. Bain Hanson is handed a fire extinguisher. Bain Hanson hits him with the fire extinguisher. Bain Hanson sets up a table. Bain Hanson reenters the ring. Fallen follows him back in. Bain Hanson nails Fallen with a choke slam. Bain Hanson takes Fallen down with a front-layout suplex. Bain Hanson executes the Bain Killer on Fallen! Bain Hanson goes for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, three!!!

(A portion of the crowd is cheering Bain Hanson.)

RG: Your winner is Bain Hanson.

DT: Bain gets a big win over XBWL star, Fallen. Next, we're gonna get right into our next matchup, The Beast vs. Legacy.

RG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle first ... Hailing from Chicago, Illinois ... Weighing in at 474 pounds ... Legacy!!!

(Symphony of Destruction plays as Legacy makes his way to the ring with an "SWA SUX, WWFW RULES" shirt on.)

RG: His opponent ... Hailing from Parts Unknown ... Weighing in at 288 pounds ... "The Exaggerated Extreme Icon" The Beast!!!

(Ain't My Bitch by Metallica plays as The Beast walks to the ring to boos.)

Rebel: They lock up. Legacy whips The Beast into the ropes. Legacy hits The Beast with an elbow. Legacy executes a top-rope Death Valley Driver on The Beast. Legacy goes for an inverted power bomb, but The Beast blocks it. The Beast hits Legacy with a Russian legsweep. The Beast takes Legacy down with a Russian legsweep.

DT: The Beast goes for a neckbreaker, but Legacy blocks it. Legacy uses an Asai moonsault on The Beast. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, shoulder up. Legacy goes for an inverted power bomb, but The Beast blocks it. The Beast whips Legacy into the ropes. The Beast hits Legacy with a kick. The Beast executes a gutbuster on Legacy. The Beast whips Legacy into the ropes. Legacy takes The Beast down with a backspin DDT. Legacy is going for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, kickout. Legacy executes a choke slam on The Beast. Legacy goes for a choke slam, but The Beast counters it with an elbowsmash. The Beast uses a Russian legsweep on Legacy. The Beast executes a handspring moonsault on Legacy. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, kickout. The Beast nails Legacy with a handspring moonsault. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, kickout.

Rodz: The Beast hits Legacy with a Russian legsweep. The Beast throws Legacy out of the ring. The Beast goes through the ropes. The Beast uses a Russian legsweep on Legacy. The Beast sets up a table. Greg Lewis counts: 1. The Beast hits Legacy with a Russian legsweep. The Beast is handed a frying pan. The Beast hits him with the frying pan. The Beast hits Legacy with a Russian legsweep. The Beast chokes him with a frying pan. Greg Lewis counts: 2. The Beast hits a Russian legsweep on Legacy. The Beast goes for a Russian legsweep, but Legacy counters it with an elbowsmash. Greg Lewis counts: 3. Legacy reenters the ring.

DT: The Beast follows him back in. Legacy takes The Beast down with an inverted power bomb. Legacy executes a choke slam on The Beast. Legacy catches The Beast in an armlock leglock submission. The Beast reaches the ropes after being trapped for 9 seconds. Legacy whips The Beast into the ropes. Legacy hits The Beast with a clothesline. The Beast falls out of the ring. Greg Lewis counts: one, two, three, four, five, The Beast reenters the ring.

Rebel: Legacy goes for an inverted power bomb, but The Beast blocks it. The Beast executes a neckbreaker on Legacy. The Beast goes for a gutbuster, but Legacy blocks it. Legacy hits a back suplex on The Beast. Legacy whips The Beast into the ropes. The Beast hits Legacy with a kick. The Beast nails Legacy with a Russian legsweep. The Beast nails Legacy with a neckbreaker. The Beast whips Legacy into the turnbuckle. The Beast runs shoulder-first into the corner. The Beast whips Legacy into the ropes, but Legacy reverses it. Legacy hits The Beast with a backdrop. Legacy catches The Beast in an armlock leglock submission. Legacy lets go after 11 seconds. Legacy whips The Beast into the turnbuckle. Legacy goes for a top-rope Death Valley Driver, but The Beast blocks it. The Beast hits a Russian legsweep on Legacy.

Rodz: The Beast whips Legacy into the ropes. The Beast hits Legacy with a shoulderblock. The Beast whips Legacy into the ropes. Legacy hits The Beast with a kick. Legacy whips The Beast into the ropes, but The Beast reverses it. The Beast hits Legacy with a kick. The Beast whips Legacy into the ropes. Legacy hits The Beast with a kick. Legacy nails The Beast with a choke slam. Legacy goes for a choke slam, but The Beast counters it with an elbowsmash. The Beast takes Legacy down with a Russian legsweep. You can hear a few scattered fans booing The Beast and a few others cheering him. The Beast runs into the ropes. Legacy hits The Beast with a kick. Legacy uses a top-rope Death Valley Driver on The Beast. Legacy goes for the STF, but The Beast blocks it. The Beast takes Legacy down with a gutbuster. The Beast hits Legacy with a neckbreaker. The Beast uses a neckbreaker on Legacy. The Beast goes for a neckbreaker, but Legacy blocks it. Legacy goes for a choke slam, but The Beast counters it with an elbowsmash. The Beast throws Legacy out of the ring. Greg Lewis counts: one, Legacy reenters the ring. The Beast hits a Russian legsweep on Legacy.

DT: The Beast hits a handspring moonsault on Legacy. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... shoulder up. The Beast whips Legacy into the ropes. Legacy hits The Beast with a shoulderblock. Legacy places The Beast on the turnbuckle. Legacy goes for a top-rope DDT, but The Beast blocks it. The Beast throws Legacy off the turnbuckle. The Beast hits a Russian legsweep on Legacy. The Beast goes for a gutbuster, but Legacy blocks it. Legacy nails The Beast with an inverted power bomb. Legacy whips The Beast into the turnbuckle. Legacy executes an inverted power bomb on The Beast. Legacy whips The Beast into the ropes. The Beast hits Legacy with a kick. The Beast executes a neckbreaker on Legacy. The Beast nails Legacy with a neckbreaker. The Beast executes a Russian legsweep on Legacy. The Beast hits Legacy with a neckbreaker.

Rodz: The Beast executes the Downward Spiral on Legacy! The Beast goes for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... shoulder up!!! How'd he kick out?! The Beast nails Legacy with a gutbuster. The Beast goes for a gutbuster, but Legacy blocks it. Legacy places The Beast on the turnbuckle. Legacy hits a top-rope DDT on The Beast. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, shoulder up. Legacy goes for a back suplex, but The Beast blocks it. The Beast nails Legacy with a neckbreaker. The Beast takes Legacy down with a neckbreaker. The Beast hits a gutbuster on Legacy. The Beast hits Legacy with a neckbreaker. The Beast hits Legacy with a Russian legsweep.

(There are chants of 'boring, boring'.)

DT: The Beast is going for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, in the ropes... The Beast hits Legacy with a neckbreaker. The Beast punches Legacy. The Beast chops Legacy. The Beast chops Legacy. The Beast whips Legacy into the ropes. Legacy uses a backspin DDT on The Beast. Legacy uses an Asai moonsault on The Beast. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, kickout. Legacy uses a top-rope Death Valley Driver on The Beast. Legacy goes for a choke slam, but The Beast blocks it. Legacy takes the pipe and uses it on him. He goes for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... kickout. Legacy goes for an Asai moonsault, but The Beast counters it with a Tombstone.

(The Beast is met with a "Hogan, Hogan,..." chant.)

Rebel: In turn, Legacy counters it with an elbowsmash. Legacy executes the Revenge De Grace on The Beast!!!

(The crowd is going "We want Greg Lewis !".)

Rodz: Legacy goes for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, thr ... kickout! Oh man! Legacy whips The Beast into the ropes. The Beast hits Legacy with a shoulderblock. The Beast nails Legacy with a neckbreaker. The Beast punches Legacy. The Beast kicks Legacy. The Beast hits a gutbuster on Legacy. The Beast whips Legacy into the ropes, but Legacy reverses it. The Beast misses with a kick. The Beast hits Legacy with a kick. The Beast executes a Russian legsweep on Legacy. The Beast nails Legacy with a gutbuster.

(Some fans are starting to leave.)

Rebel: This match really sucks. I think it's all because of Beast! Did you see the way the crowd reacted when Legacy was about to win Beast? They really hate that idiot, Beast.

Rodz: That's because Legacy's from Chicago!

DT: The Beast takes Legacy down with a neckbreaker. The Beast kicks Legacy.

(The Beast is met with a "Just go home" chant.)

Rebel: The Beast punches Legacy. The Beast chops Legacy.

(The Beast is met with a "The Beast sucks" chant.)

DT: The Beast whips Legacy into the ropes. The Beast misses with a clothesline. The Beast hits Legacy with a clothesline. The Beast throws Legacy out of the ring. The Beast goes through the ropes. The Beast is handed a keyboard. The Beast hits him with the keyboard. They're brawling inside the ring area. Greg Lewis counts: 1. Legacy whips The Beast into the guardrail. Legacy nails The Beast with an inverted power bomb.

Rodz: Legacy reenters the ring. The Beast follows him back in. Legacy executes the Revenge De Grace on The Beast!! Legacy goes for the pin. Greg Lewis counts: One, two, three!!!

(Legacy is met with a mixture of cheers and boos.)

RG: Your winner is Legacy!!!

DT: New Years Brawl is coming to a close, as we only have three matches left, plus the big battle royal!!!

Rodz: Next, Golden King takes on Bob The Ass Kicker!

RG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle first ... Hailing from Parts Unknown ... Weighing in at 300 pounds ... Bob The Ass Kicker!!!

(Faith by Limp Bizkit begins as Bob The Ass Kicker comes down the aisle with Mrs. Ass Kicker.)

RG: His opponent ... Hailing from Topeka, Kansas ... Weighing in at 395 pounds ... Golden King!!!

(Blind by KoRn plays as Golden King comes down the aisle to a monstrous pop. Probably the loudest pop ever in the SWA.)

DT: Oh my! These Chicago fans love Golden King, here! He got a HUGE ovation!

Rodz: They lock up. Golden King goes for a jumping DDT, but Bob The Ass Kicker throws him off. Bob The Ass Kicker hits a powerslam on Golden King. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, kickout. Bob The Ass Kicker goes for a powerslam, but Golden King counters it with a lariat. Golden King goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Bob The Ass Kicker counters it with a punch. Bob The Ass Kicker runs into the ropes. Bob The Ass Kicker goes for a backspin DDT, but Golden King blocks it. Golden King whips Bob The Ass Kicker into the ropes, but Bob The Ass Kicker reverses it. Bob The Ass Kicker goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Golden King counters it with a punch. Golden King goes for a fisherman buster, but Bob The Ass Kicker counters it with a small package.

Rebel: Melee Bearhugger counts: One, shoulder up. Bob The Ass Kicker goes for a bodyslam, but Golden King counters it with a small package. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, kickout. Golden King hits Bob The Ass Kicker with a fisherman buster. Golden King is starting to get under the crowd's skin. Golden King takes Bob The Ass Kicker down with a tornado DDT. Golden King throws Bob The Ass Kicker out of the ring. Melee Bearhugger counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, Bob The Ass Kicker reenters the ring. Golden King punches Bob The Ass Kicker. Bob The Ass Kicker kicks Golden King. Bob The Ass Kicker chops Golden King.

DT: Bob The Ass Kicker punches Golden King. Golden King chops Bob The Ass Kicker. Golden King uses a belly-to-belly suplex on Bob The Ass Kicker. Golden King uses a jumping DDT on Bob The Ass Kicker. Golden King uses a tornado DDT on Bob The Ass Kicker. Golden King throws Bob The Ass Kicker out of the ring. Golden King jumps onto him with a Flying Senton Backsplash. Golden King knocks Bob The Ass Kicker into the ringsteps. Golden King whips Bob The Ass Kicker into the guardrail. Melee Bearhugger counts: 1. Melee Bearhugger counts: 2. Golden King sets up a table. Golden King uses a fisherman buster on Bob The Ass Kicker. Melee Bearhugger counts: 3. Mrs. Ass Kicker comes from behind and distracts Golden King. Bob The Ass Kicker whips Golden King into the guardrail. Melee Bearhugger counts: 4.

Rebel: Bob The Ass Kicker takes Golden King down with a powerslam. Melee Bearhugger counts: 5. Bob The Ass Kicker hits Golden King with a bodyslam. Bob The Ass Kicker reenters the ring. Golden King follows him back in. Bob The Ass Kicker uses a powerslam on Golden King. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, shoulder up.

Rodz: Bob The Ass Kicker goes for a powerslam, but Golden King counters it with a lariat. Golden King places Bob The Ass Kicker on the turnbuckle. Golden King executes the Punisher on Bob The Ass Kicker. Golden King goes for the pin. Melee Bearhugger counts: One, two, three!!!

(Golden King is being cheered like there is no tomorrow.)

RG: Your winner is Golden King!!!

DT: A nice, fast match put on by Golden King, along with the attempted use of a table, but GK never got to it because Mrs. A double S kicker decided to distract him.

Rodz: I knew Golden King would win the whole time!

DT: Whatever. Our next match is the Fire Pit match between Ring Troll and Mr. Hardcore. The winner will go on and get an Extreme title shot some time within the next few weeks. It can't be Tuesday, because I heard DDT is defending the Extreme title against the runner-up of the battle royal, so even if you get thrown out last, you still have a shot to win the title!

Rodz: This match is gonna be AWESOME! I loved these matches in the IWZ, and let's take a look in the back of the arena where this match is being held.

(SWA SupremeTron fades into a shot of the back of the arena. It's very dark out since it's just a few hours after New Years hit. A huge 100 foot high cage is towering over a 50 foot deep pit. A door is on one side of the cage, and will be locked when the match begins. Ring Troll comes out first. He enters the cage through the door and is barely able to keep his balance as he walks down the side of the pit. When he gets there, he stands at the far end. Then Mr. Hardcore comes out, but first an SWA crew members enters the pit and lights up the huge bonfire in the middle. There's now enough light to see everything. Mr. Hardcore enters the pit. They close and lock the door, and then another crew member walks up to a small box next to the cage and flips a switch. Suddenly, the entire cage lights up with fire. Ring Troll and Mr. Hardcore quickly go at it. Ring Troll hits Mr. Hardcore with a spear and then begins punching him in the head. He picks up some dirt and shoves it into Mr. Hardcore's mouth. Troll wipes sweat off his head and then finds a rock. He slams it over Mr. Hardcore's head numerous times before throwing it into the fire. Ring Troll picks Mr. Hardcore up and whips him into the side of the pit. He follows up with a big clothesline, and begins to climb the pit. Half way up the pit side, he loses his grip and slides down to the bottom.
Mr. Hardcore gets up and finds a stick. He sticks the end into the fire and then runs over to Ring Troll. As Ring Troll lands back down in the pit, Mr. Hardcore jams the stick into the back of Ring Troll's neck. Ring Troll screams out in pain, and Mr. Hardcore begins climbing the pit. Ring Troll follows him up.

DT: Golden King lied! He said he would never again involve himself with the MOD, but he has just rejoined the infamous faction, and Ring Troll will be receiving an Extreme title shot some time soon!

Rodz: As I said before, MOD's old news.

DT: What are you talking about?! JJ Pierce is the US champion. Both Ring Troll and Brian Baylor have Extreme title shots lined up. Ring Troll could go on to be in the Asian title match Tuesday. Golden King, Ring Troll, Baylor, Turbo, JJ Pierce, and Beheader all have a chance to win the World title a little later tonight, and if JJ Pierce wins the next match, then he gets a World title shot! The MOD is red hot!

Rodz: Whatever. Next!

RG: The following contest is scheduled for 2 out of 3 falls. Coming down the aisle first ... Hailing from the Darkside ... Weighing in at 247 pounds ... The SWA US Champion ... "The Prodigal Son" JJ Pierce!!!

(Unholy by Kiss plays as JJ Pierce makes his way to the ring to boos.)

RG: His opponent ... Hailing from Boston, Massachusetts ... Weighing in at 287 pounds ... The SWA Extreme Champion ... "Dangerous" Dave Taylor!!!

(DaNgErOuS by Busta Rhymes plays as DDT makes his way to the ring.)

Rebel: They lock up. JJ Pierce uses a superkick on Dave Taylor. JJ Pierce executes a clothesline on Dave Taylor. JJ Pierce locks Dave Taylor in a sleeperhold. Dave Taylor reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. JJ Pierce leaves the ring. He returns with the blinding powder. JJ Pierce hits him with the blinding powder. JJ Pierce throws Dave Taylor out of the ring. JJ Pierce jumps onto him with a shooting star press. JJ Pierce whips Dave Taylor into the guardrail. JJ Pierce whips Dave Taylor into the guardrail. Big Henry counts: 1. JJ Pierce knocks Dave Taylor into the ringsteps. Big Henry counts: 2. Big Henry counts: 3. JJ Pierce reenters the ring. Dave Taylor follows him back in. JJ Pierce goes for a superkick, but Dave Taylor ducks out of the way. Dave Taylor goes for a power bomb, but JJ Pierce counters it with a backdrop. JJ Pierce catches Dave Taylor in a sleeperhold. Dave Taylor is valiantly trying to break the hold. Dave Taylor is inching his way towards the ropes.

Rodz: Dave Taylor reaches the ropes after being trapped for 17 seconds. JJ Pierce nails Dave Taylor with a heart punch. JJ Pierce is going for the pin. Big Henry counts: One, two, kickout. JJ Pierce takes Dave Taylor down with a clothesline. JJ Pierce hits a low blow on Dave Taylor. JJ Pierce whips Dave Taylor into the ropes. Dave Taylor misses with a kick. JJ Pierce goes for an armbar submission, but Dave Taylor blocks it. Dave Taylor goes for a backspin DDT, but JJ Pierce blocks it.

Rebel: JJ Pierce locks Dave Taylor in an armbar submission. Dave Taylor breaks the hold after 5 seconds. Dave Taylor punches JJ Pierce. Dave Taylor kicks JJ Pierce. JJ Pierce punches Dave Taylor. JJ Pierce chops Dave Taylor. JJ Pierce kicks Dave Taylor. JJ Pierce whips Dave Taylor into the ropes. JJ Pierce goes for a clothesline, but Dave Taylor counters it with a Gorilla Press. Dave Taylor is going for the pin. Big Henry counts: One, kickout. JJ Pierce throws Dave Taylor out of the ring. JJ Pierce goes through the ropes.

DT: Big Henry counts: 1. JJ Pierce whips Dave Taylor into the guardrail. Big Henry counts: 2. JJ Pierce executes a low blow on Dave Taylor. JJ Pierce reenters the ring. Dave Taylor follows him back in. JJ Pierce puts Dave Taylor in a nerve hold. Dave Taylor reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. JJ Pierce goes for a heart punch, but Dave Taylor blocks it. Dave Taylor whips JJ Pierce into the ropes. Dave Taylor goes for a tornado DDT, but JJ Pierce blocks it. JJ Pierce nails Dave Taylor with a low blow. JJ Pierce hits a superkick on Dave Taylor. JJ Pierce goes for a clothesline, but Dave Taylor ducks out of the way. Dave Taylor nails JJ Pierce with a backspin DDT.

Rodz: Dave Taylor takes JJ Pierce down with a tornado DDT. Dave Taylor is going for the pin. Big Henry counts: One, two, kickout. Dave Taylor goes for a backspin DDT, but JJ Pierce blocks it. JJ Pierce hits Dave Taylor with a sunset flip. Big Henry counts: One, two, three.

RG: The winner of the first fall is JJ Pierce!

DT: They lock up. Dave Taylor takes JJ Pierce down with the Liger Bomb. Big Henry counts: One, two, shoulder up. Dave Taylor runs into the ropes. JJ Pierce catches Dave Taylor in a sleeperhold. JJ Pierce lets go after 18 seconds. JJ Pierce goes for a clothesline, but Dave Taylor counters it with a Gorilla Press. JJ Pierce throws Dave Taylor out of the ring. JJ Pierce goes through the ropes. JJ Pierce whips Dave Taylor into the guardrail. Big Henry counts: 1. JJ Pierce reenters the ring. Dave Taylor follows him back in. JJ Pierce goes for an armbar submission, but Dave Taylor blocks it. Dave Taylor places JJ Pierce on the turnbuckle.

Rodz: Dave Taylor goes for a top-rope gutbuster, but JJ Pierce blocks it. JJ Pierce throws Dave Taylor off the turnbuckle. JJ Pierce nails Dave Taylor with a low blow. JJ Pierce executes a superkick on Dave Taylor. JJ Pierce goes for a clothesline, but Dave Taylor ducks out of the way. Dave Taylor throws JJ Pierce out of the ring. Big Henry counts: one, two, three, four, JJ Pierce reenters the ring. Dave Taylor goes for a tornado DDT, but JJ Pierce blocks it. JJ Pierce nails Dave Taylor with a superkick. JJ Pierce hits Dave Taylor with a low blow. JJ Pierce hits Dave Taylor with a clothesline. JJ Pierce gets a sleeperhold on Dave Taylor.

Rebel: Dave Taylor reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. JJ Pierce hits Dave Taylor with a low blow. JJ Pierce throws Dave Taylor out of the ring. JJ Pierce jumps onto him with Asai moonsault. JJ Pierce takes Dave Taylor down with a low blow. JJ Pierce knocks Dave Taylor into the ringpost. Big Henry counts: 1. JJ Pierce knocks Dave Taylor into the ringsteps. JJ Pierce hits Dave Taylor with a clothesline.

DT: Big Henry counts: 2. JJ Pierce hits Dave Taylor with a clothesline. Big Henry counts: 3. JJ Pierce knocks Dave Taylor into the ringpost. Big Henry counts: 4. JJ Pierce is handed a frying pan. JJ Pierce takes a swing at Dave Taylor with the frying pan, but he gets out of the way. Dave Taylor snatches the frying pan from him. Dave Taylor hits him with the frying pan. Dave Taylor throws JJ Pierce back into the ring. Dave Taylor gets the STF on JJ Pierce. JJ Pierce tries to fight the pain. JJ Pierce submits after 6 seconds.

RG: The winner of the second fall is Dave Taylor!

DT: They lock up. Dave Taylor whips JJ Pierce into the ropes, but JJ Pierce reverses it. Dave Taylor hits JJ Pierce with a clothesline. JJ Pierce falls out of the ring. Dave Taylor goes through the ropes. Dave Taylor whips JJ Pierce into the guardrail. Dave Taylor executes a somersault splash on JJ Pierce. Dave Taylor goes for a power bomb, but JJ Pierce blocks it. Big Henry counts: 1. JJ Pierce whips Dave Taylor into the guardrail. Big Henry counts: 2. JJ Pierce reenters the ring.

Rebel: Dave Taylor follows him back in. JJ Pierce hits a superkick on Dave Taylor. JJ Pierce whips Dave Taylor into the ropes. Dave Taylor hits JJ Pierce with a kick. Dave Taylor goes for a fisherman buster, but JJ Pierce counters it with a small package. Big Henry counts: One, two, kickout. JJ Pierce uses the cross-face chicken wing on Dave Taylor. JJ Pierce whips Dave Taylor into the ropes. Dave Taylor hits JJ Pierce with a kick.

Rodz: Dave Taylor whips JJ Pierce into the ropes. Dave Taylor hits JJ Pierce with a backdrop. Dave Taylor places JJ Pierce on the turnbuckle. Dave Taylor uses a top-rope Splash Mountain on JJ Pierce. Big Henry counts: One, shoulder up. Dave Taylor whips JJ Pierce into the ropes, but JJ Pierce reverses it. JJ Pierce hits Dave Taylor with an elbow.

Rebel: JJ Pierce executes the Tree of Woe on Dave Taylor. Dave Taylor tries to fight the pain. Dave Taylor submits after 5 seconds!

RG: The winner of the third fall is JJ Pierce! Your winner is JJ Pierce!!!

DT: And "The Prodigal Son" JJ Pierce gets a HUGE victory over "DaNgErOuS" Dave Taylor! Now, there's still speculation about DDT's future in the SWA, and we'll find out all about that after the battle royal when he releases more information. But next up! The much anticipated TWO RING BATTLE ROYAL FOR THE WORLD TITLE!!! The second ring is now rising from the ground, taking it's place, and SWA crew members will be fixing the whole thing up! Right now, we take you to Doc Johnson with SWA Merchandise!

(SWA SupremeTron fades into a shot of a plump, short man with blonde hair in the SWA Arena Control Room. Behind him on the monitors are shots of matches from SWA New Years Brawl and shots of merchandise.)

Doc Johnson: Hello there, everyone! This is Doc Johnson, and I'm here at the SWA Arena, ready to show you some new merchandise!

(The shot changes to that of one of the monitors. A shirt that says "Satan's Disciple 666" is shown. On the back is says "I just sacraficed your ass!")

DJ: Get your all new Satan's Disciple T-Shirt for just $59.99 plus $20.00 shipping and handling in the US, $30.00 in Canada!

(A shot of a mouse pad that reads "SWA" in blue surrounded by a green glow is shown.)

DJ: Surf the net or write reports in style with this all new SWA Alien Glow Mouse Pad! Only $29.99, plus $6.72 shipping and handling!

(A shot of 30 SWA action figures are shown.)

DJ: Get your SWA World Title Battle Royal set of SWA Action Figures by Jakks! Available at K-B Toys, Toys R Us, and all other fine Toy dispensers in your area, for only $99.99! Or you can order your very own set, which the box is signed by every man competing in the battle royal, right here, for only $173.26, and $0.23 shipping and handling! WHAT A DEAL! To order any of this merchandise, call 1-800-SWA-4-NOW! Or, send a check or money order in a self addresses, stamped envelope with the name of what you want on a 3x5 card to:

SWA Incorporated
P.O. Box 316
Chicago, Illinois 708

Order yours today!!!

(Scene goes back to that of the announcers at ringside.)

DT: All right, thanks Doc!

Rodz: What the hell are up with those PRICES?!?!

DT: Well ... we need to pay Rebel some how.

Rebel: Ha ha ha, that's right!

DT: Well, the two rings are set up and interlinked, and all 30 men are in the ring just ITCHING to get it on!!!

Rodz: Golden King and Legacy going at it! Turbo and J.B. Destiny! Insane Giant and Ashe! Oh man! This is carnage! OH! Doom just through out Satan's Disciple!

DT: To think, you thought he would win, and he's the first one out.

Rodz: Shut up, Danny!

Rebel: Both Golden King and Ring Troll are working to get Legacy out of there now! Legacy and Ring Troll have a bad history in the XBWL, and I hope they kill each other, because then I'd finally get a break from kicking both their asses in the ring!

DT: Uh oh, The Beast has Doom ... Downward Spiral!!! And now The Beast picks Doom up ... and tosses him out! Doom has been eliminated!

Rodz: Good! Beast got revenge for his old boss, Satan's Disciple! Good job, Beast! He may take you back now!

Rebel: Ring Troll and Golden King have finally given up on getting Legacy out of there. This is unbeileavable! All three of those men are over 7' tall! The SWA is full of giants!

Rodz: J.B. Destiny is struggling to get Sincere out, but he can't. Sincere fighting back rapidly ... and he's no longer in trouble of getting thrown out! Sincere runs into the ropes ... bulldog!

DT: Golden King now working over Joe Graguleoni. King pounding away at him. Golden King signals! We haven't seen this move for months! GK brings Fat Joe to the top rope ... CHOKE SLAM! The Punisher! Golden King is struggling to get Fat Joe out. Can he do it ... almost ... yes! Fat Joe is out!

Rodz: Now The Prodigal Son, the US champion, the man who's gonna get a World title shot on Tuesday if he doesn't win this match, JJ Pierce, is trying to eliminate SWA newcomer, Ashe. Ashe fighting back with rights and lefts, buy JJ doesn't seem to be stunned. OH! JJ with a solid punch to Ashe's gut ... JJ runs to the ropes!

Rebel: JJ nails Ashe with a clothesline, and Ashe falls out of the ring!

DT: But Ashe isn't leaving! Ashe is trying to get back into the ring, but the ref's are stopping him. Here comes SWA security! Ashe sees them, and he escapes through the crowd! Why did President Bohringer sign that man?!

Rebel: `Cause he's an idiot. The only thing he ever did right was sign me to a multi-million dollar contract as a color commentator, and I may, MAY, wrestle a match, but that's no where in the near future.

Rodz: Oh yes! Phantom and DDT are going at it! I see a rift in the DaNgErOuS aLLiaNcE! Phantom and DDT trading punches ... left, right, left, right, left, right!

DT: DDT nails Phantom with a kick to the groin, and Phantom doubles over. DDT is gloating to the crowd now ... and Phantom's getting up! Phantom runs into the ropes ... he nails DDT in the back of the head, and DDT flys over the top rope!!! That's five people out, and we're not even five minutes into the match!

Rebel: It's about to be six people out! Newcomer Robert Rhoades is being destroyed by that big goof, Legacy! Rhoades is ready to be thro ... what the hell?! Rhoades just ducked under Legacy, and Legacy flew out!

Rodz: I can't believe it! Robert Rhoades making a name for himself already.

DT: Fallen and Turbo are mixing it up in the middle of the two rings. Fallen with a Tornado DDT on Turbo! Turbo is out cold, and Fallen picks him up ... Down Fall!!! Turbo is out!

Rebel: Now Rhoades and another SWA newcomer, Swingblade, are trying to eliminate each other. Swingblade has Rhoades on the ropes ... and he's got Rhoades out!

DT: Fallen and Turbo are still mixing it up. Turbo has come back now with a Turbo slam, and he's pounding away at Fallen. This is getting ugly.

Rodz: Almost as ugly as you, Danny. OH! Turbo just threw out Fallen!

DT: It was eminant. But right now, Jimmy Stevens and Bob The A double S kicker are going at it. Bob is getting destroyed by Stevens, and there is no escape.

Rebel: Stevens is whooping the Ass Kicker up. Stevens reminds me of me when I was was a young rook. Uh-oh, Mr. Hardcore is running over to help his partner, Bob The Ass Kicker! Stevens throws Ass Kicker over! Hardcore hits Stevens with a clothesline, and he goes over as well!

Rodz: They're brawling on the outside! Stevens and Bob are slamming each other into pillar and post, and SWA Security is coming down here to break them up.

Rebel: Now in the ring, it looks like DeaTH is the next one to go over the top! Ring Troll is pushing him ... and DeaTH is holding on for dear life! NO! Ring Troll pushed him over, and Troll walks away to celebrate!!!

DT: He isn't eliminated! DeaTH hung on! His feet didn't hit the ground, and he's pulling himself back in. Talk about pulling a Shawn Michaels.

Rodz: Mr. Hardcore is attacking newcomer, Black Dragon! Dragon is being pummeled ... I bet it's because Hardcore is mad over his earlier loss to Ring Troll. He had the match won, but then that idiot Golden King walked in and runined it.

DT: Hardcore throws Dragon over! That's two for Mr. Hardcore.

Rebel: But Mr. Hardcore luck looks to have run out! Suicide Steel has him tangled in the ropes, and is trying to push him out! He's not doing a very good job, but Hardcore ain't doing anything about it.

Rodz: Swingblade just threw out Sincere!!!

DT: And DeaTH and Ring Troll are once again going at it! This time, DeaTH nearly has Ring Troll over ... but Turbo and JJ Pierce make the save! They're pounding on DeaTH now, and DeaTH is being taken to down to his feet.

Rodz: Phantom is running over! Phantom is pulling them off of DeaTH ... but Golden King nails Phantom! It's a huge brawl between MOD and DaNgErOuS aLLiaNcE, both of which suck!

DT: Mr. Hardcore is out! Suicide Steel finally got him out!

Rebel: Ring Troll has broken away from the big MOD/Da brawl, and is now fighting Swingblade. Swingblade is being pummeled in the corner of the second ring, and Ring Troll is loving every minute of it.

DT: Swingblade is trying to fight back, but Troll isn't letting it happen. Troll flips Swingblade over!

Rodz: Tombstone! And Troll picks him up ... and throws him out! Bah-bye Swingblade!

Rebel: "Primetime" Andre Harris is battleing it out with Turbo now. Turbo is getting manhandled. Harris sets Turbo up ... The Dre Drop! Andre's version of a piledriver!

DT: But he isn't trying to throw Turbo out! what's he doing?!

Rebel: Leave the kid alone! He's a great young talent, and a future SWA World champ.

DT: What do you know about him?

Rebel: I know what I see, and I saw the kid wrestle in this match for over fourteen minutes now! NO!

Rodz: Turbo got up and clotheslined the back of Andre's head, sending him tumbling outside! Oh man!

DT: And that's 15 people! Half of the men are gone, and we only have 15 men left!

Rebel: So?

DT: So that means that the stip that the prez has added at the last minute will take place. The second ring will be lowered back into the ground, the remaining 15 men will fight in one ring!

Rodz: The Iron Colossus just nailed Phantom with the Colossus Cannon! And now he's trying to dump Phantom on the outside. And he does! Phantom's out of here! Now will someone throw THAT psycho out?!

DT: Colossus finally does something! Wow! Uh-oh! Beheader is attacking the small J.B. Destiny!

Rodz: Beheader's a tag-team wrestler, and should never have been allowed to wrestle in this battle royal!

Rebel: Give the man a chance. He'll be eliminated anyways. Every single battle royal and Royal Rumble I've ever seen has had tag wrestlers in it, and NONE of them have won.

Rodz: World War 3 last year, Scott Hall won. World War 3 this year, Kevin Nash won. They both spent most of their WCW career tagging. And Scott Hall won when he was still tagging with Nash!

Rebel: Oh ... well ... that doesn't count. WCW pre-determines the outcome.

DT: Anyways! In the ring, J.B. Destiny is getting the upperhand on Beheader. Destiny ... oh! Destiny nailed Beheader with a huge spin kick, and it sent Beheader toppling over the top rope! Beheader's out!

Rodz: Insane Giant is getting dominated by Suicide Steel now! Insane hit with a flying clothesline! And Suicide runs to the ropes ... he decapitates Insane Giant, shooting Giant out of the ring! Giant's eliminated!

Rebel: This is the fastes thirty man battle royal I've ever seen. Then again, no one has to wait to enter. They all start out in the ring.

Rodz: That's right. And someone else is about to be thrown out! At this pace, we'll have a World champ before the 20 minute mark.

DT: Steve Edwards is dominating Ring Troll! Troll is staggering ... Edwards pushes him out! Ring Troll has been eliminated by a rookie! Oh man, what a match!

Rebel: OH!!! You guys missed it! Turbo threw out The Beast right after Ring Troll was thrown out!

DT: That means Turbo has set a record! He has thrown out more people then anyone else. He has three! The closest who come to him are Suicide Steel, Swingblade, and Mr. Hardcore who all have two. Suicide Steel can still beat Turbo, too. Records are just being set tonight galore!

Rodz: You're right! That's three now. J.B. Destiny with the fastest win. Golden King with the loudest pop. And Turbo with the most people eliminated.

Rebel: Bain Hanson is trying to throw out The Iron Colossus now. Hanson ... God! What a shitty last name. I hate that name.

DT: Colossus it out! Bain has eliminated Colossus!

Rodz: Hold on! Suicide Steel and Turbo are going at it! If Suicide throws out Turbo, he secures a tie and he still has a chance to beat Turbo. If Turbo wins, he pretty much secures the record!

DT: They're righting back and forth! OH! Turbo has hit the Turbo Slam! Suicide Steel is out ... but ... oh no! Turbo is setting Suicide Steel up for...

Rodz: The most electrifying move in professional wrestling today, the Corporate Elbow! Ropes ... ropes ... pause...elbow! And now Turbo lifts Steel up ... and he throws him out! Suicide Steel has been eliminated!

Rebel: Look at this ... dissention in the MOD! Brian Baylor and Golden King are going at it!

Rodz: Oh man, these two are both former IWZ World champions, along with Ring Troll and Turbo!

Rebel: Will you SHUT UP about the damn IWZ! No one cares about it! It's dead! Leave it alone!

DT: Golden King has Baylor up ... and out! Baylor has been eliminated!

Rebel: And now King is on the attack again. This time, it's to the last rookie in this battle royal, Steve Edwards. I'm surprised he made it this far. But hey, he eliminated Ring Troll, so he may be able to get King out ... but I doubt it.

Rodz: Golden King pulls Edwards up to the top rope ... PUNISHER! Edwards is out! Golden King is now trying to throw him out ... all too easy! Steve Edwards has been eliminated!

DT: That's three people! Golden King has nearly caught Turbo's record!

Rebel: King is attacking DeaTH now! But DeaTH is fighting back. He's nailing King in the head ... and King totally backs off, and DeaTH takes a breather in the corner.

Rodz: But not for long! Turbo charges him! BACKDROP FROM DEATH! Turbo's out! He tried to charge DeaTH, but DeaTH lowered his back, and Turbo flew out of the ring! He has no way of getting his record back now, if Golden King is able to tie or beat him!

DT: Bain and JJ Pierce are brawling now ... JJ Pierce with a nice looking even flow DDT. And he pulls Bain Hanson to his feet ... short arm clothesline! And Hanson goes out! Hanson has been eliminated!

Rebel: Destiny runs up behind Pierce an nails him with a dropkick! Pierce flys over the top rope! Destiny has eliminated the US champ!

DT: But DeaTH walks up behind Destiny and he has him in a sleeper! Golden King comes behind DeaTH ... and GK puts DeaTH in a sleeper!

Rodz: Destiny is out cold, and DeaTH lets him go, and now he's elbowing Golden King in the gut. Again ... again ... he's free! DeaTH nails GK with the Antidote!!!

DT: DeaTH grabs Destiny ... Antidote! And now DeaTH throws Destiny out of the ring! J.B. Destiny has been eliminated!

Rebel: DeaTH goes back for Golden King ... no! GK nails DeaTH in the gut! GK hits DeaTH in his nuts! DeaTH has tumbled over! GK is up ... he grabs DeaTH, and he signals for The Punisher! NO!

Rodz: DeaTH low blows Golden King! And DeaTH now ... Antidote!!! DeaTH picks Golden King up ... WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMP! GOLDEN KING IS ELIMINATED!!!

DT: DeaTH has won the World title! DeaTH is the new World champion! What a night! Lady's and gentlmen! DeaTH is the man of 1999! He has won the World title on January 1st, 1999 in the Rosemony Horizon, in Chicago, Illinois! WHAT A NIGHT!

(Suddenly, the SWA Theme music begins, and SWA President Eric Bohringer makes his way down the aisle with the SWA World title in hand. He enters the ring and gets a mic.)

President Bohringer: DeaTH, I'd like to congratulate you right now on your victory. You went through hell in this match to win this title, and you truly deserve. On Tuesday, you will be defending this title against JJ Pierce, and I hope you're up for the task. Golden King ... come in the ring please.

(Golden King turns around in the aisle and walks back towards the ring.)

PB: You worked your ass off, too, to get to this point in the match, and for that, I congratulate you. On Tuesday, you will get your Extreme title shot at DDT, and if you win that match, and the Extreme title, then you will get a World title shot somewhere down the line.

(Suddenly, DaNgEroUs by Busta Rhymes begins, and DDT steps out from the curtains and stands at the top of the ramp with a mic.)

DDT: Hold up. SWA, you suck. You're nothing without me. I am your main event, and you know it. But ... I just don't like the corruption here. I could have won that Extreme title on my own, but you send your stooge commish to the ring to help me win. Then, after I didn't show you gratitude, you sent that idiot vice president of yours to attack me, along with Johnny "The Jobber" Rebel and Sincere! Well, I'm THROUGH! The SWA Extreme title is on your desk, buddy. I'm gone. You can have the stupid title! Read my lips, Bohringer ... I QUIT!

(DDT drops the mic and leaves.)

PB: Uhhh ... well ... then, Golden King ... on Tuesday, you'll still fight for the Extreme title. But it'll be against the other man who earned a shot at it ... Ring Troll! And it'll be a ... Barroom Brawl! Here's your title, DeaTH.

(President Bohringer hands DeaTH the World title. He then leaves the ring, along with Golden King. DeaTH stays in the ring, and Phantom comes out to help him celebrate his victory.)

DT: What a night! I'm Daniel Taltito for Johnny Rodz and Johnny Rebel, saying so long, every body!

(The scene fades to black and the following plays: