Daniel Taltito: Hello everyone! We're here at the SWA Arena in Chicago, Illinous, where we'll be for a week, just three days away from New Years Brawl at the ROsemont Horizon, with four promos, and some bombshell announcements by both the Commissioner and the President of the SWA himself, Eric Bohringer!

Johnny Rodz: That's right Danny! For the first time, we're gonna see the SWA President himself, give an announcement!

DT: But first tonight, we're gonna give you our personal opinions on each and every match that's going to take place at NYB `99!!!

JR: That's right! We're gonna actually tell you who we think is gonna win! Me... I KNOW who's gonna win each match!

DT: We'll see about that.

Brian Baylor vs. Sincere

DT: Brian Baylor vs. Sincere. Now, neither man has had much to say at all. They've both been quiet as of late, but I see the big MOD member, Brian Baylor, coming out on top in this match.

JR: No way! Sincere has the backing of SWA VP, Andrew Taylor, AND XBWL World champion, Johnny Rebel! There is no way Brian Baylor is gonna come out on top in this match.

Insane § Giant vs. J.B. Destiny

DT: Alright. Next match pits a big man here in the SWA, against a very small one. Insane § Giant takes on J.B. Destiny. Now, J.B. Destiny may be small, but he has alot of confidence, not to mention a ton of talent.

JR: The guy has a (CENSORED)load of talent! J.B. Destiny, of the REAL Dangerous Alliance, has all the backing he needs going into this match, and he'll destroy that Inane freak!

DT: Well, I have to agree with you there, Johnny.

Eddie Kanyon and The Sucide Flyer vs. Total Annihilation

DT: Then we have the match for the tag-team titles... or is it?

JR: It's not for the straps, the prez told me himself. This is just a normal match. But Eddie Kanyon and The Sucide Flyer just don't have what it takes to match up against Total Annihilation. I see TA pulling a victory out in the SWA's first tag-team bout.

DT: Well, I do agree with you there, but not with the reason. I think that Eddie Kanyon and The Sucide Flyer could defeat this team any day, but they're impended to do the J-O-B until their contracts expire, so we'll definatelly see TA come out with the win. There's a result right there. Satan's Disciple vs. Turbo
JR: Without a doubt, Satan's Disciple pulls out a victory right here! There's no stopping the man. He has what it takes to win, and Turbo just can't cut it. He may be in the MOD, but that shouldn't be a reason for him to win. The man jut doesn't work, and I don't think he ever will.

DT: Actually, I have to go with Turbo. Turbo has the full support of the MOD, plus if he wins this match, he gains great recognition by beating one of the top contenders to the Extreme title. Look for Turbo to win this match, possibly with a little MOD help.

The Phantom vs. Joe Gragileoni

DT: Now, neither of these men have ever said a word... and from the way it looks, neither of them will. I've heard the prez and the VP talking about pink slips and such, and we could see both these men get one. But, in all reality, I see The Phantom coming out with the victory.

JR: I don't like either of these losers! Joe Gragileoni is just a fat slop that thinks he's Yokozuna or something, so he can get an easy win, and The Phantom is involved with DDT, so he sucks right away! Look for this match to end in a draw!

Fallen vs. Bain Hanson

DT: Now, I think that Fallen could win this match hands down, because Bain Hanson is just all show... but Fallen, like Eddie Kanyon and The Sucide Flyer, are impended to J-O-B until their contracts run out. Bain Hanson takes the match.

JR: Ya know, ANYONE who has Hanson in their name sucks, period. Bain... you're pathetic! Hell, Fallen's pathetic, too! Look for another draw!

Legacy vs. The Beast

JR: Well, in this match, I would have said Beast if you asked me last week. But right now, I think the big man, Legacy, is gonna kick Beast's jabronie (CENSORED)!

DT: Well, Beast has been on a losing streak, so don't expect him to come out with a victory over Legacy. Legacy is just too good to lose, plus he's a good choice to be the first World champ.

JR: Now I wouldn't go that far! Legacy's good and all, but Satan's Disciple is gonna be the first World champ.

Golden King vs. Bob The (CENSORED) Kicker

DT: There is no doubt in this match. Lady's and gentlmen, I have a gut feeling that Golden King is gonna show Bob just how to really give a but whoopin.

JR: That's right! Bob is gonna get his (CENSORED) handed to him by GK, and there's no denying it! GK has finally told the MOD what they can do, and he's red hot! Expect Bob's (CENSORED) to be kicked!

Ring Troll vs. Mr. Hardcore "Winner Gets Extreme Title Shot" "Fire Pit Match"

DT: This match could prove to be the most extreme match to date in the SWA, and we've already had two good ones. Mr. Hardcore is new to this whole Fire Pit concept, and I expect him to be freaked out at what he has to accomplish to win this match.

JR: See, I think both of these idiots are trailor park trash, but to win this match you don't have to beat your opponent, you just have to escape. And Ring Troll ain't fast, so look for Mr. Hardcore to run up that hill, climb up that cage, and get the hell out of there before Ring Troll can even move three feet. Mr. Hardcore takes the win.

DT: I just don't see that. Ring Troll is a veteran at this match, you saw him wrestle this type of match in the IWZ, and there's no way he's gonna give up his undefeated crown in Fire Pit matches.

US Champion vs. Extreme Champion

DT: Now this match is gonna be good. We don't know if it's gonna be for a title, and we don't know if it's gonna be contested under extreme rules... hell, we don't even know who the US champion is as of yet, but I see "Dangerous" Dave Taylor coming out on top over the US champion. He's on a roll as of late.

JR: What?! You think that idiot is gonna win?! No way! Hell, if the US champion is Denton, DDT is gonna lose! See, no matter who becomes US champ by that time, DDT is gonna lose that match, `cause he just plain sucks!

DT: Well, before we continue, President Bohringer has requested that he come out and make his announcements!

(SWA President, Eric Bohringer, steps into the scene.)

President Bohringer: Thank you very much Mr. Taltito. Good to see ya again, Rodz. Well, let's get right down to the fact. And the fact is, no one knows who the thirty men will be in that battle royal, so I'm gonna tell ya right now. See, it ain't very hard. EVERYONE will be in it, except for Denton! Why? Because he's a poor shmuck who can't hack it. It will be in battle royal rules! All thirty men in at once, and it's over the top rope. Oh yeah... it's a two ring battle royal, too! Now continue on with your little predictions, and I'll make my other announcements later.

*30 Man Battle Royal for World title*

DT: What an announcement! All thirty have been announced, so have the stipulations, and now we can predict who's gonna win it! The match the SWA has been waiting for! 30 men go in at once, 1 comes out with the World title in tow!

JR: Talk about a blockbuster announcement! I'm gonna dive right into this, and I'm gonna give you my pick right now! Satan's Disciple all the way!!!

DT: Well, once again I disagree with you, Johnny. I'm gonna have to say... either Legacy... or "Dangerous" Dave Taylor. These men are, in my opinion, the two top athletes and names in the SWA, and they'll be the ones who become champ.

PB: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who cares. Now it's time for my two final announcements. They're not big, but hey, I'm doin my best. First ones about the US title and Extreme title match. Now, NEITHER titles will be on the line, it will be not be an extreme match either. However, it WILL be a two out of three falls match, and the winner will be in line for a World title shot! And the other one. At the end of the show, the official ratings for each match will be in, except for the US/Extreme champions match, the battle royal, and the tag-team match. And we'll look at those ratings. The two highest rated matches will be found. The winner of the two highest rated matchs will square off on Tuesday Titans next weekm vieing for the Asian Title! And That's all I got to say.

(President Bohringer leaves.)

DT: What an announcement! Next week, the winners of the two best matches at NYB will fight for the Asian title! Wow... we've got to take a commericial break, so stay with us!

(Commercial for Huggies diapers. Commerical promoting New Years Brawl. Commericial for SWA action figures, series two, featuring Golden King, Turbo, and Satan's Disciple. Commerical for N64's Zelda.)

DT: And we're back! Next up lady's and gentlemen, we have our first of four promos tonight. It's for the Ring Troll/Mr. Hardcore matchup. Let's take you to it!

(The shot changes to a close-up shot of one of the TV monitors in the control room. The monitor is begins playing the promo.)

{The scene is black. Suddely, Ring Troll's logo slams down on the screen. Then a big "VS." slams down underneath it. Then Mr. Hardcore's logo slams down underneath that. Then, all three pictures erupt in fire, and the words "FIRE PIT" slam down on the screen covering everything else. The words disintergrate into a shot of Ring Troll beating Axe in the finals of the Fire Pit tournament in the IWZ, to gain the Fire Pit title. It then shows various clips of his title defenses, followed by a clip of him threatening to sure the IWZ if he had to defend the title again. Then a clip of the title becoming defunct. Then clips are shown of numerous matches with Mr. Hardcore in them. Then a voice.}

VOICE: Two men will walk into the pit... one unexperienced... one undefeated... and only one man will walk out...

{A clip of Ring Troll escaping from the Fire Pit in one of his matches is shown. Then a clip of Mr. Hardcore escaping a cage in one of his matches is shown.}

VOICE: Who will survive? There's only one way to find out...

{A picture of Ring Troll is shown next to a picture of Mr. Hardcore. Both are bloody and tired.}

VOICE: You'll have to see it to believe it.

{Suddenly the words "FIRE PIT" slam down on the screen again, covering everything. The words burst into flames, and the scene fades to black.}

JR: They didn't show the good stuff, but that promo got the point across. Ring Troll vs. Mr. Hardcore in a Fire Pit match, the winner gets an Extreme title shot! Look for it LIVE on pay-per-view at New Years Brawl `99!

DT: Next up, we have a promo for the US Champion vs. Extreme Champion match! Let's show it to you.

(The show once again chages to that of a TV monitor.)

{The US title is shown. Then the Extreme title is shown. Then both titles side by side.}

VOICE: Two champions will walk in...

{DDT is shown winning the Extreme title. Then the ending of the match between The Iron Colossus and JJ Pierce is shown.}

VOICE: Only one will emerge victorious...

{Then a clip of Satan's Disciple losing the Extreme title match is shown, followed by the ending to the between The Iron Colossus and Denton.}

VOICE: Will the US have glory, or will Extremeists around the World rejoice?

{A picture of DDT is shown above pictures of JJ Pierce, The Iron Colossus, and Denton. Then a huge question mark lands over the screen.}

VOICE: New... Years... Brawl... this time, it's for fame.

DT: Another short promo done, and two more to go. But we have to take a commercial break before that, so stay with us!

(A commericial for Zest body wash. A commericial for N64's Glover. A commericial for SWA action figures, series two. And a commericial for SWA The Music, Volume 1.)

JR: And we're finally back, with no more commericials to interupt us! We have two more promos to show you, followed by a HUGE announcement by that loser, the SWA Commissioner, Harrington Thorne!

DT: Our next promo is for the 30 man battle royal for the World title!

(Back to a TV monitor view.)

{A picture of the SWA World title is shown.}

VOICE: 30 men fight...

{Various clips of SWA matches. Legacy against DeaTH. Golden King against DeaTH. Ring Troll against Mr. Hardcore. Satan's Disciple against DDT and Beast. And JJ Pierce against The Iron Colossus.}

VOICE: But only one can reign supreme above the rest!

{Slow mode clip of DDT holding the Extreme title high above his head after winning it.}

VOICE: Who will it be? Who will make SWA history?

{Clips of various interviews are shown. Legacy's interviews. DeaTH's interviews. Satan's Disciple's interviews. DDT's. Colossus'. JJ Pierce's. GK's.}

VOICE: There shall be only one man who can achieve this goal... find out at New Years Brawl.

DT: Alright, lady's and gentlmen! We're down to one last promo, and an announcement from the commish! The next promo is for New Years Brawl itself!!! Let's get on it!

(TV monitor shot.)

{The New Years Brawl logo is plastered over the screen.}

VOICE: The start of a New Year. The first holiday of 1999. So many matches... so many men... so little time.

{Clips of various interviews and matches.}

VOICE: The World title will be decided...

{World title picture is shown.}

VOICE: The US champion and the Extreme champion fight for a chance to earn a World title shot.

{The US and Extreme titles are shown side by side.}

VOICE: Fire will reign supreme.

{A clip from a Fire Pit match is shown.}

VOICE: And no one is safe...

{The New Years Brawl logo is shown again, followed by the SWA logo.}

JR: That's it? Those promo's sucked! I could have done better!

DT: Whatever you say, Johnny. Well, right now, let's bring out SWA Commissioner, Harrington Thorne!

(Commissioner Harrington Thorne steps out. He has the SWA US title in his hands, and a briefcase of money as well.)

DT: Wha... what's that money from? Where'd you get it? Why do you have the US title? What's going on?!

Commissioner Thorne: Shut the hell up and listen to my words. Now, this money is none of your concern, buddy. As for the title... that why I'm here. Let's make the announcement right now! Without further ado... your NEW SWA United States Champion....... "The Prodigal Son" J... J... PIERCE!!!

(Suddenly JJ Pierce walks onto the screen. He has a huge smile on his face.)

JJ Pierce: See Thorne, I knew we could come to some kind of agreement.

CT: Shut up about that right now! We're on camera!

JJ: Oh... sorry.

CT: Well, here you go, Pierce. You are now the OFFICIAL SWA United States Heavyweight Champion!

(Commissioner Thorne hands the title to JJ Pierce. Pierce straps it around his waist and shakes Thorne's hand.)

JJ: Problem is, I'm broke now. I've spent all my money...

CT: SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!

JJ: Oh yeah... camera and all. Oh well! It's been a blast, but I'm going to get the hell out of here and train for my match! So says the Prodigal Son, so it shall be done!

(JJ Pierce leaves the control room with his title. Commissioner Thorne then looks at the camera and smiles, then he leaves.)

DT: Wow!!! We just got a new US champion... but I think he won it unfairly...

JR: You're (CENSORED) straight he did! He paid off that loser commish, Thorne! Thorne is just helping everyone get a title now a days! I wonder how much DDT payed him.

DT: Well... I'm guessing JJ Pierce paid the commish around $1,000, since that's all the money he had to spend, and since he said he was broke now.

JR: This is the most corrupt fed I've ever been in!

DT: Oh well! I'm Daniel Taltito for Johnny Rodz, saying, so long everybody! And tune in for New Years Brawl on Friday!