Life can be tough. Some days it seems nothing goes right. When this happens, Buster recommends that you gather your bones and your ball and curl up on your blanket next to your Ed Bear. Sometimes the best medicine for days like that is a good, long nap.
There. Doesn't that feel better? "No!", you say? Well then, try this:
Get your ball. Go to the top of the cellar steps and, ever so carefully with your nose, push it till it
rolls to the bottom. Then sit there and whine until your Mom or Dad gets irritated enough to go
downstairs and get it for you. This is highly amusing, and will be effective for at least one or two
more times before you get a major scolding. You know they've *really* had enough when they take
the ball away from you and put it on top of the refrigerator.
[Hint: you can have a little more fun if you wait awhile and then whine while looking pitifully at the
top of the fridge. It will amaze them that you've found the damned ball even when they *know* you
didn't see them put it up there. Continue whining until the ball is returned to its rightful owner:
YOU.]
Question:
Dear Buster,
Yesterday I got a spanking for getting into the trash. What's so bad about that? I was bored!
Answer:
Being bored isn't a no-no...but getting into Mom's trash can IS. You see, Mom puts all kinds of bad-for-you things in there, and she worries that if you eat them, you'll get sick or injured. Some things are okay to eat...but this does not include items of personal hygiene (human that is), plastic wrappings from food and things made of metal. Besides, if you get sick, Mom will have to take you to Dr. Vet, which you will hate and which will cost Mommy a lot of money she might otherwise have used to buy you some toys. So, take Buster's advice: Stay out of the trash!!
Question:
Dear Buster,
The cats in my house won't play with me, and when I try to give them a kiss they bat at me with their sharp claws out. What can I do to get the kitties to like me?
Answer:
I'll have to be blunt here, fellow-canine. Give it up. Cats don't really like *anyone*, unless it's someone who has food or treats, and then only if they're really in the mood. Cats don't like dogs more than they don't like just about anyone, so don't waste much time trying to please them. The best thing you can do is pretend you recognize their sovereign rights in the household and let them alone. Sorry!
More advice from Buster....
Question:
Dear Buster,
My person says I'm a bed-hog. I just like to snuggle up close. Can I help it if I snuggle up so close that I nearly push her out of the bed?
Answer:
Your person really needs to learn to be more understanding of your affection. Try sleeping out with the cats for a few days and see how she likes *that*!
Dear Buster,
I live in a house with two cats and a parakeet. Mind you I have no problems with the cats, but that darn bird gets to fly around the house and leaves droppings all over, especially on my favorite napping spot. My question is, what can I do to stop this annoying bird behavior? I've tried talking to the cats, to explain to them just what their feline duties are, but they just smile, yawn and go back to sleep. HELP!!
Sincerely,
Disgusted Dalmation
Dear Disgusted:
Your parakeet leaves his calling card in your snoozing spot?? How RUDE!! No self-respecting dalmation should have to put up with such indignities; I say get after that bird yourself!! I know what you mean about those durn cats....act like they own the place, don't they? Why, they don't even bother to earn their keep most of the time; shoot, at least we wag for our supper! Here's what you do.... learn to fling your frisbee with your teeth, and just give that uppity bird a good thwack! while he's in flight, preferably mid-poop. That'll learn 'im!!
Oh--and be sure to come back and let us know if that straightens the pesky varmint out!
Dear Buster,
Whenever my Mommy does the laundry, she puts the warm clothes in a big basket. When she leaves, I jump in that warm, soft, clean laundry and chew on my bone. Mommy always yells at me, but I can't resist the temptation. She always complains that I get doggy hair and spit all over the laundry. What should I do??
Your Fellow Weiner Dog
Dear fellow wiener,
Mmmm....nice toasty fresh laundry!!! How could anyone resist such temptation?? Your mommy should know better than to leave that laundry basket where you can get in it! I say, if she's silly enough to put those nice fresh clothes where you can lay on them, well, why wouldn't you? And doesn't mom know that dog spit is a lovely addition to any wardrobe? Here's my advice: Do it, but keep your ears tuned to the sound of footsteps so you don't get caught!
The Dachshund Rescue Web Page is dedicated to utilizing the full power of the Internet to ensure that no dachsund will ever want for a loving home. If you're looking to add a dachsund to your life (and I'm here to testify you'll never regret it!), or for some reason cannot keep your dachsie, this is the place to go. It's funded strictly by the President/Webmaster and through donations received through their "Dollars for Dachsunds" campaign. Do visit the site--it's really wonderful.
Coast to Coast Dachshund Rescue is a National non-profit, all-volunteer organization dedicated to rescuing needy Dachshunds and Dachshund mixes. CCDR strives to find homeless Dachshunds loving forever families all over the US and Canada.
Dachshund Rescue of North America, Inc. DRNA is an organization with one sole purpose -- rescuing, rehabilitating and re-homing needy dachshunds and mostly dachshund mixes. If you can provide a terrific home for a dachshund or if you know of one who is in need of our services, please contact DRNA.
Puppymill Rescue Inc. is an independent, Internet-based non-profit organization which locates foster and permanent loving homes for purebred dogs trapped in puppymills. They raise funds with raffles, auctions, and the sale of donated items in order to house and feed, rehabilitate, socialize, provide medical care, and spay/neuter the dogs rescued from the horrible conditions in these puppymills.
Second Chance Ranch is a rescue organization located in Belleview, Washington. The Ranch is dedicated to the rescue and rehabilitation of dogs. Adopt a dog or, if you live in that neck of the woods, become a volunteer!
