2nd September 2006, Saturday Seriously.. I cant comprehend this shit. My life is in a mess and I dont know where to start cleaning up. Nowadays when I wake up every morning, I dont even know what I gonna do. Had this burning feeling in my heart that I cant comprehend. School work is a mess, for I havent really started on any and I am really facing difficulties on my Accounts. I am screwing up work as well with me pissing my supervisor and the kitchen chef off. I cant even work for a day without commiting any mistake, even for the most minor ones. Relationship is a total mess, I dont wanna eleborate more... and family aint showing much support but just nagging at what I do most of the time. I feel anxiety and fear everyday. I am worry about my exam results, I am worried that I am not performing in work, I am worried that I dont have enough money to scrape through a fucking month, I am worried that I say the wrong things or may say something wrong, I worry that I quarrel with the gf again, I worry that I am screwing up our relationship, I am afraid that I am screwing up my own life etc etc.. Man.. the list never ends. Somehow I feel as if I am everywhere but nowhere. I dont find any place where i really belongs, nor any sanctuary that I can seek. And I am kinda falling back into the depths of my emotional darkness. Everyday I just feel so mechanical. The things that I do are just so mechanical that I am devoid off all feelings. Its like.. ok.. I am done with this.. next thing pls.. and next.. etc.. But really.. mentally my mind is screaming.. louder day by day.. and of course my heart is ripping apart. Blankness is all I have got. There's nothing to look forward to.. And for the fact that I am hiding in one corner of my life over my social life. I am drawing further apart because I dont really know how to express myself anymore, or to say out what I feel frankly.. to anyone. All hostilities, and no retreat. This is a mission towards suicide. Do or Die, dont ask why.. wish me good luck to survive this.. its gonna be a long mission and an even long battle. P.s I dont even feel like I am 21. And btw.. I did alittle housekeeping to this blog. T0raK - 11:47 PM - _____________________________________ |
1st August 2006, Tuesday /Me clear the spider webs. *clear throat* *ahem!* Ding ding ding! Anouncement anouncement! I would like to wish myself Happy 21st Birthday! From this time of blogging it will be 30 mins more till the end of my birthday. Have some dedications and thank you messages to make. Firstly, to the gf, my dearest sweetheart.. thank you for your super advance gift of N70. Thanks for the hand made birthday card and the treat in marche. I had a wonderful night spending time with you :). Muacks, love you! Secondly, thanks to All my classmates from DBAM RDB06-13F. You guys rocks! Special Thanks to Calvin, Valentino, Jeffery and Zheng Yang and to the only 2 girls in our class. Thank you all for the special suprise this afternoon. THank you all for the cake :). I am really touch, for this is the first time classmates celebrate my birthday. :) Thirdly, to all those whom sms their bday wishes to me. People like My deary, Keith, Rena, Kun Rong, Aloy, NaNa, Rachel and Andre (my bro for 14 years) for your birthday wishes. I am really touched that you guys remember my birthday. Lastly, to all those that gave me presents, I really appreciate it! Big or small is of no matter. It the sincerity that counts. So yup, thank you all :). Hope that from today onwards I can move towards my goals and also that everyone I know are happy. May there be peace. And may I be able to walk a brighter path. Once again, thank you everyone for making this day special to me :). I had a lovely day. T0raK - 11:53 PM - _______________________________________ |
5th June 2006, Monday My god damn comp was pronounced dead last week. I think I went to Sim Lim Square for like the 4th or 5th time today within the week. 1 week of mayhem and having the cold turkey for being deprived of comp usuage haha.. After a new graphic card and new DVD RW drive, hope I bring it back to life and the old problem of frequent hangings stops (cross fingers + toes). Cost me a fortune to fix it.. so yea.. T_T. Wah, times really flies. And now its 18 days to ORD! Wootz! 18 days till this shit is ALL over haha. I am smelling it... the sweet scent of freedom. Anyway, the sad thing is that I have used up all my leave, and its 18 more days to endure! LoL.. sad.. this is gonna be a real slow 18 days. ANyway, being rotting away at home. Other than reading books, going out with the gf, playing games, and lazing around, I havent being doing anything productive lol. Just a random thought. Tmr is 060606. Woah, 666.. the devil's number. Cool.. Anyway, if you like some awesome eye candy webbie do drop by 2advanced.com . One of my fav webbie and their design is splendid as usual. check it out. T0raK - 7:30 PM - ______________________________________ |
10th May 2006, Wednesday God damn it. I hate my fucking PC. Just when I was about to save my entry, it hang on me. So this is my second attempt to blog. 3rd day of clearing my ORD leave, and I am enjoying every minute of it! I can finally sleep late into the night and wake up late in the morning with nothing to worry about. Best part is that I can finally spend more time with the gf and also on gaming. Life's good :) Chilled out at Balcony Bar yesterday night with Aloy and NaNa. The drinks and the ambience were good, but the service sucks as usual. I love the music there, just so groovy. Anyway, had a good talk cock sing song session for 2 hours before leaving for home. Thanks for the company bro :). More to come.. Anyway, ever since I go on leave, I spent lotsa time with the gf. Chilling, shopping, catching movies.. etc. Its just so wonderful la! I just wanna make her day and see her smile more. She's having some difficult times right now and I hope she will pull through. Dont be so moody k dear? Things will be fine and I really love to see you smile :)! And I love spending every minute with u :). Just caught the Poseidon the movie with her over at GV Plaza. Man, the movie rocks! Its a must watch for all la! Mi3 is so lousy compare to it. I highly recommend it! Next on the list will be Over The Hedge and of course Da VinCi Code. God I cant wait till next week! Tried to draw out a draft design for the next layout of Urban Conflux. Couldnt draw any shit out. I mind's blank and I have no inspiration. Apprantly I think my creativity's dead or something. I simply stare at the blank A4 size paper and nothing comes out of it. I miss those times during my school days when my designs were spontaneous. But now.. sigh.. And comes to think about it, I never had good designs at all, just an amatuer playing around producing amatuer products. I cant even produce a good portfolio to get into La Salle SIA. Can you guys do me a favour and drop a comment to tell me what you think of this website's design? Somebody help me out.. T0raK - 9:34 PM - _______________________________________ |
7th May 2006, Saturday Oh my farking god! For the first time in my life, I realise that I am fat! The packs (at least 4 I think) are all gone! Boohoo... I am now having a flabby tummy. I am getting real lazy to workout anyway haha.. Ok, lotsa updates. This place is beginning to grow cobwebs all around haha. Anyways, at this point of time, I had another 47 days to ORD. Inclusive of weekends and public holidays. Its drawing closer and closer. I am finally at the "Clear leave" phase. The feeling is just so shiok la! Now its the next phase of life that's worrying. Fact is that I havent got to TMC academy to find out about the courses, and it starts on July. Now that I am on leave, I will be dropping by the school soon to find out everything. One thing to be happy about is that my application for PSA Comercial Forklift course is underway. Finally I can have a professional liscence rather than the piece of shit army gave me. Life's the usual when it comes to the weekdays. The changed of management in camp is making it far more hellish. People come and go. The work environment is becoming very stressful. Temper flares easily these days and "extras" are given like candy. As if the frequency of our regimental duties are not enough. Well, at least platoon 2 are still able to unwind. Just had our BBQ Cohesion on Friday over at Bryan's house. Firstly, the environment is darn good, the food is good, and not to mention the "drinks" We are simply all Alchoholics man. I brought along a Chivas, while the rest brought a Cordon Blue (The king of all!), 2 Jack Daniels, 2 Jean Bean, Red wines and lotsa others. LoL, all of us were drunk that we started throwing people into the pool. Basically all went in except for me :D. Lucky. Life's still in a mess. All my time are dedicated to the gf and family. No time for myself as usual. Need some sorting out still, its simply to chaotic. Life with the gf is much better, with me being able to spend a little more time with her. Well, she's feeling alittle emotional and moody all at the same time. Glad that I am able to set it right, or at least.. I tried to. Well, its definitely good to see her eyes twinkle and the mischevious smile of hers. Welcome back my dear :). Thats the girl that I love! And speaking of the gf, it reminds me of the Balcony Bar over at Heerens. The ambience rocks, the music's good, but the service is half fucked. Not that I expected good service from pubs anyway. Drinks were good and the price wasnt as expensive as expected. Guys that needs a place to chill out ought to give it a try. Well, PAP won the elections again. What's new? LoL.. T0raK - 10:00 AM - ______________________________________ |
23rd March 2006, Thursday Hello guys. I am back.. well.. sort of. Oh well.. you all should know, the usual excuses I am gonna give. Seriously I think its getting boring for all of ya with me ranting on and on about how busy and stuff like that. Just let me say this one more time pls.. I am so mutharfucking busy that I hardly had time to blog. There.. sure sums it all well :). Realise that the amount of shit that I gotta update on my website alone while I disappear for the past 2 months. My profile needs updates, my links page definitely needs some clean ups as well. Headache ah.. buay tahan. I am already doing the "draft" design for a clean blog, just like blogspot kind. Easier to update and less hassle lol, fit for lazy people like me. But must come out with some powerful design for a layout first la! I live but to impress lol.. ( as if my designs are good). Yes, I am super thick skin la.. :D Alittle updates on my life than. Camp life, boring and busier as ever. Never rested, and more work than ever. Now I am the only experienced forklift driver in my platoon since the earlier batch guys are on leave, smelling their ORD getting nearer and nearer. Haha.. so I am the most senior member of my platoon right now. Running the platoon together with both my Commander and sergeant. I think I gained respect everywhere in camp la.. I think I am overworking myself out, cant seem to stop. With the crazy daily temperature, it simply adds on to the torture. Heavy rain one moment, and sun shining at full force the next. Wah.. going crazy la. Turning into a workaholic. I think I already am a no lifer. The gf is already complaining about my lack of attention to her. Sigh.. well.. I think I had weak mental endurance. Theres a saying of "Mind over Body", for me.. heh.. its the reverse I guess. Its "Body over Mind". On the family front, its also the same. My dad is bitching to me about how am I neglecting to spend time with my family and dont stay out frequently. My time management sucks big time, and I cant find a solution to it. I am getting so sian with all this shit la. I have being hidding alot of pent up frustrations in my heart for years. My relationship with the gf, my family, my friends and my future. I'm burnt out. I am losing interests in everything. I am losing my lifestyle and is getting very scary. Everything just seems so boring. Sometimes during the night I had wild thoughts going on my mind. Thought about breaking free, thought about travelling alone, thought about buying a house asap.. moving out and have my own sanctuary, thoguht about doing whatever I want to do and get my life into the order that I want. Lonliness seems so appealing to me now. I know its scary. The thoughts are seeping through the cracks of my mind. Not to mention the cracks in my heart, the pressure in my head. I always had something missing in my life, and I had yet to find out. I feel so incomplete. I am still searching for that something.. I feel like a bastard saying all this. Sigh.. I guess I am giving up my passion for rice bowl. I wont be going to design school after all. I am moving on to logistics management studies, which I think I am good at. I gotten a space in Singapore Poly to take up Digital Media course, but I decided to give it up for TMC academy. Well.. I guess its a huge leap from my original plannings. Dont wanna get into the details, but I hope things turns out well. My future really depends on it, and myself of course. Sorting out my life seems so difficult. Help.. T0raK - 11:05 PM - ______________________________________ |
15th February 2006, Wednesday Ok, I am real sorry for the lack of updates. But real life comittments are killing me at this morning. So readers do bear with me. Just a heads up, there will be a new layout fairly soon I guess and the regular entries will be back once everything settles down. Till than.. do stay tune and visit regularly. My thankls. T0raK - 8:38 PM - ______________________________________ |
9th January 2006, Sunday I dont feel like her fucking bf anymore. I dont know who the hell I am. So hollow. Its nobody's fault. Maybe shit just happens when you least realise it. Everything evaporizes just like that. I dont know how to carry on.. I cant take this anymore... now I am really breaking down. Am obviously angry with myself for screwing everything up. Entering hiatus mode once again. Not from blogging, but I need escapism from everything else. Feel so sick and tired of everything. T0raK - 7:54 PM - _______________________________________ |
8th January 2006, Sunday Everyone are done reflecting back about them and 2005. As for me, not really. Feeling jaded. The series of event that happened recently are simply too harsh on me. First will always be camp stuff. Sometimes I just hate to be involved in politics. Especially when I will have no say about it. I dont really know how it started, but Some officers in my camp that beared hatred with my platoon commander finally lashed it out on us when he is away on a long term attachment to India for millitary exercise. So who's gonna suffer? Us of course. Now we are moving bullseye in camp, with those people after our asses at the most minor mistakes we made. And of course, I didnt escape. Managed to sign an extra duty and got 2 months worth of off burned. God damn that old man. Go play your politics with those of your own rank, stop fucking picking on us. Work is already hectic enough, we dont need someone with a whip behind waiting for an excuse to whip us. We are not fucking slaves. I hate my camp, where politics between officers and segeants are so prominent. Well.. that's what you get when your so lowly ranked. Suck thumb and say "Yes Sir!", "I will accept my punishment, thank you very much sir!". Bah.. Now.. I am not the kinda of person that will carry workplace frustration back home. The anguish that I felt were simply swallowed down to my heart. But going home aint really any better. All the bitching I have from my parents are too much for me to take, mum especially. I seldom blow up in front of my parents, most of the time I just simply let them bitch all they want and kept quiet. Of course my temper's raging inside. Its always the same old. Money, stuff that I do and stuff that I dont really bother about. So much of peace and quiet that I yearn for. So I decided to go out as much as possible to escape from all the bitching, and when I reach home, and guess what? They found something new to bitch about. Why the hell am I spending more time outside rather than stay home, for going out means spending money, which I seriously lack off. How ironic can things get? Next, my relationship with the gf. I would not say its a cup of tea, for communication with her broke down. It seems like I am losing my temper easily nowadays. Misunderstanding seems to occur so often right now with the slightest of things such as the tone of voice we used on each other. I am pissed off with her nonchalant tone and she's pissed off with me being such an un-understanding no brainer jerk. Though most of the time both of us manage to calm down, apologise and sort things out. But I see no end to the squabbles. I always feel very guilty whenever such arguements occured, with me saying things that I wont usually say in normal conversation. And of course, I dont usually use my head to think while argueing. I never fail to say things that came to my mind first, and I never failed to regret about them. Like what the gf always says, I am real dumb. Things doesnt help with Mr you-know-who kept calling her asking about her whereabouts 24/7 and calling her sweet names that normally a bf will use on her gf. Its really freaking disturbing when ever I talk to her or stuff like that. To put it in plain words, I fucking hate it, but I cant do anything about it, so I will just bitch about it to make myself feel better. Sorry to the gf if I pissed you off again. Whenever I go out, I try my best to be lame and cranky. I thought it will humour her and make her laugh, but I think I got on her nerves sometimes haha.. guess I am overdoing it. I had some frustrations that I could never solved, or at least not yet. Time management always bugs me. Apparantly with me spending more time with the gf, I had less time to spend with my family. To make matter worst, my great grandma (yes, you hear it right), got a stroke around 2 weeks ago during new yr's eve. Got herself warded at NUH. So now I have something new to do, which is to get down to NUH about everyday to visit her and accompany her till the next shift of my relative take over. Now, here's the sucky part. When I spend my all my time with the gf and only go down like less than expected, my mum will be so pissed with me. On the other hand, if I have to go down together with my parents to visit her, I wont have time to take her out (especially on weekends), and she will be pissed with me, and the rest of the part you all will know. I guess the tone I use to speak to her plays a big part, and so was hers. Unfortunate events came crashing on me. Never had a peaceful period to rest. All the time were so divided I barely had time for myself anymore. I lose track of lotsa stuff and given up lotsa my hobbies. Now I am so pissed with myelf. I never done anything right for a very very long time. I think the only thing I managed to do is to read what I used to categorised under the condemn section. I managed to borrowed the Harry Potter collection from the gf and I am actually liking it. Now thats a shocker. I am a intern Harry Potter junkie to be. I guess the gf cant stop smiling about it, and she actually found it pretty amusing. Well, initial thinking was to have more topic to talk to her about, since she's a potter junkie as well and actually let me understanding what she's talking about most of the time. Now, I cant stop reading about it and I have viewed all 4 of potter's movies 1 shot, compliments from the gf for lending them to me, and I cant get enough of it, and its the only thing I can do right now to unwind myself. For now, I am simply just wandering aimlessly in life. I contemplate on alot of stuff, but I cant seems to put them into actions. I dont know what got into me, but I lose all motivations,especially when things arent happening in my favour. My plans to further my studies are floating around, and alot of questions left unanswered. I want to come up with lotsa romantic stuff to do with the gf, bring her to nice restaurants and stuff like that. Never had a chance. Low on vitamin "M" 24/7. Want to "ugrade" my wadrobe buying lotsa new clothings to wear other than those same ol' stuff I wore for years. Again, low on vitamin "M". Can you guys believe I have clothings that was bought bout 6 years ago and I am still wearing them? *Shakes head*. Regrets regrets regrets... I am one fine example of a dumb shithead that does stuff on impulses only to regret them almost immediately after putting them into actions. Wonderful person I am eh? I never fail to amuse myself with all of the shit that I have done to myself and to others. I am really sorry about everything everyone. I hope I can sort myself out, if god permits me time. I am no longer myself anymore. The cheery, patient, genki (energetic) and ambitious Jack gone the negative way. Now I am Jaded, impatient, unmotivated and cranky. I hate myself now, never felt so useless in my life. I want to be a better bf that she's proud of, less impatient and be happier in general. Guess 2006 wont be as good a year from me as I expected. Its still going down. Depressed. And yea.. sorry to all bout my bitching. T0raK - 10:19 PM - _______________________________________ |
1st January 2006, Sunday I hereby wish all readers a Happy 2006 with lotsa happiness and good fortune! Have a wonderful 2006 :) T0raK - 11:23 AM - _______________________________________ |
22th December 2005, Thursday 16th December 2005 marks a 4 years Anniversary with my sweetheart Katherine :). Its being 4 great years, even though there's storms here and there. Anyway.. Happy Anniversary to you baby :) Come to think about it, all the ups and downs along the 4 years simply just moulded both of us and improve the relationship to a whole new level. Personally I became more patient, more sensitive to her thoughts and feelings, much more wiser and happier. She changed to be sweeter, more thoughtful of my feelings, much more mature and simply just so wonderful. Its beyond what words can say. The bond between us simply grows stronger and stronger. Its kinda of a magical feeling, leaving me feeling enchanted. She's simply so full of suprises, so full of smiles that can make my day. I just cant get enough of her. Thanks for going through everything with me baby, I will do whatever best I can for you :). Shit does happens, no matter you like it or not. I am glad that we have conquered all obstacles hurled onto us. Though on the way both of us had fallen and hurt mutiple times, we always managed to get and and go on. Path ahead is still uneven, but with our new found strength and trust, I guess both of us will make it through. Just bring it on man! All thanks to destiny and god for bringing such a wonderful girl into my life. I dont know what did I do to deserve her, but I am sure giving my best shot. Secondly, thanks to all well-wishers. God bless to you all too. Being busy with doing lotsa stuff as usual. Had lotsa fun going out with the gf, and also the regular chill out with Aloy. I guess my timetable are really darn filled up. Time really flies I guess. One of my campmate is gonna ORD tomorrow. Man.. gonna miss him. For those from PAD, its Da Si that's gonna ord tomorrow. Anyway I guess the whole platoon is gonna be present to "sent" him off.. haha.. sounds like he's dying.. (touch wood). And its 6 more months till ORD!!! I will be taking a small holiday myself personally. I am clearing my leave for this year. Finally a little break to recharge, and spend more time with her and family. The downside is that before I go, I was informed that I will be doing duty on the 3rd day of Chinese New Year. Man.. not again.. I simply just hate doing duties on festive season. But oh well.. I cant do anything about it.. T0raK - 9:28 PM - ______________________________________ |
14th December 2005, Wednesday Apologises to the readers and fans.. sorry about the lack of updates. To put it in plain words I am just lazy la! But not without reasons. I have lotsa real life comittments, my work is really taking a toll on me, me and the gf patch up (which I will elaborate more later) and me being sick. Well, that's the basic round up of my entire month. My camp work is getting more and more with my increased responsibilities as one of the most senior member of my platoon. I am taking up leadership responsibility and my day to day work. Day in day out I simply just work my ass off la. Forklift driver, brute strength labour, trainings, guard duties, paperwork, teaching and leading.. you name it.. I being there done that. Man.. its not easy being a outstanding soldier. Time management is always the largest problem of mine. I dont have enough time for anything, much to say time for myself. I wonder if I am simply just no life or having to much life. Finally applied my leave for the last week of December. Much appreciated long holiday that I can finally sleep like a pig till late morning instead of being woken up at fucking 5am in the morning. Time for me to recharge more and spend more quality time with both the gf and my family, whom I have paid less attention to. Well, comes to think about it, its 6 more months to ORD! Woah, so looking forward to it. Man, I can finally smell it. And of course the question about my further education still pops up in my mind. Actually the most headache thing about it is whether I am qualified to enter design or not. I am not exactly someone with an artistic background, and I dont have enough shit to whip up a portfolio. I am afraid that the school will not accept my application deal to the lack of my background or portfolio. I can only cross my fingers when the time arrives for application. On a happier note, after lotsa sleepless nights, phonecalls, meet ups, heartbreaks, tears and sweat.. I am finally back to Kat! Woot. Broken up for a month but it seems like years. What can I do without her.. so happy that she's back to my life, with a changed personality. Now we are definitely one happy couple la! :) Lotsa things happened before patching up. Done lotsa pondering and having lotsa heartbreaks in the process. But all is good now.. :) The feeling is so nice la! I love her like crazy! I dont wanna make the mistakes I made and I do treasure our relationship :) Its already trialed and tested. It's 2 more days to our 4 years anniversary, and I am really looking forward to it. Wow.. 4 great years.. and more to come! I hope u love the gift that I bought for the anniversary :). okok :) I think I should saved you guys from my mushiness before anyone run to the nearest toilet and puke. In short just bless me and her relationship people :) I need all da blessings man! Anyway, now I am busy juggling work, relationship, friends and family. I am tired, but I am pushing my own limit once again and give the best shot I can to everybody and everything. And yea, I still manage to squeeze out time to be a coffeeholic once in awhile. Chilling out with the usual kakis like Aloy, tuala, and of cuz the gf is simply the best la, and its the best way to relax myself from the hassle of life. Bought 2 new PSP games within this month. Bought Need For Speed: Most Wanted and Legends of Heroes and a brand new logitech Playgear Pocket Casing for my PSP. Man, now I am dead broke and it was just payday. I am spending far too much.. fuck.. Donations anybody? From today I will try my best to get my updates up before everybody starts calling my and complain about my lack of enthu to update. Please be alittle more forgiving and yea.. I do give a damn to my blog :). Will do a overhaul of my blog if U have spare time during my leave period. Oh, and happy festives season guys! Enjoy the holidays, the boost, the parties and the babes/hunks. When you drink.. dont drive.. duhz T0raK - 11:25 PM - _______________________________________ |
10th November 2005, Wednesday Hmm.. blogged twice today.. but anyway.. got something interesting.. so here goes.. -------------- I am Tagged!! Omg.. Haha.. interesting.. Rules: Post 5 Weird and Random Facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. #1: I can only remember my home and handphone number. Funny thing is that I sucks with birthdays too. I can only remember mine's, my sis (cuz she's just born a day before mine LOL) and Kat's. I cant really deal with numbers for some reason. I tried real hard to remember even kat's phone number or some other friend's contacts, but it just slipped out of my mind no matter how hard I try. I am dumb ain't I? #2: I always wish that I can grow taller. I always have low self esteem, partly for my height. Yes, I am a shortie 1.6m tall. I complained about it day in day out and hope one day god might just make me taller. I dont expect much.. just 1.7m will do. Oh and please make me more muscular too, thanks! #3: I am real farter. I love to fart at the most unexpected moment. I love watching all the shock faces of all my friends when I do that. Like " who did it!?" kinda expression will be real funny. Man.. that's classic with the eyeballs poping out.. And no.. my fart dont stink :) And I really mean it.. And yea... fart jo0! #4: I am really afraid of crockroach no matter how much I deny about it! ( Oops :D) #5: I am somebody with real high sex drive lol.. ------- and i am passing the baton to........ #1: Aloy Guys that kanna arrowed pls carry on and pass the baton! Its real fun to see all this weird weird stuff haha.. Oh well.. I am still feeling moody and sad.. T0raK - 11:10 PM - _______________________________________ |
10th November 2005, Wednesday Just when I was able to stand on my own feet and carry on with my life, life decided to play yet another joke on me. Now, I am battered and hurt after falling down hard once again, and I am presented with some truths that I couldnt accept. I am a very sensitive individual with an extremely delicate heart. So many blows on one day.. the pain is just too unbearable. Its a curse that when you sinked into depression, you are sinking into a bottomless pit. Mine's sinking real fast, that I struggle to keep my sanity intact. Infront of my cheerful front, deep down inside I am an extremely hurt individual. I wanna hide, but I cant. I need alot of time to heal again. Why is it that life takes pleasure in mocking my downfall and my heartache? Too all that screwed up my life.. fuck you all. I wish you all burn in hell. Thanks for all the shit. Somebody please tell me what to do.. T0raK - 6:37 AM - _______________________________________ |