{ 23rd May 2003 }#1745# 
I Just Cant Help Myself by Nobody's Angel

There's always obstacles and negative things that happens in a friendship to test the human being wether or not they could survive their friendship.These things usually happens in ways u never imagine it would happen.Am i making any sense here?Well I sure do hope so.Well what I'm trying to say is..at least once in a billion years of ur friendship..something will go wrongly and it will decide wether or not u keep ur friends.Herms..it's been proven to me at least.Yesterday I saw how my two close friends almost losing their friendship over nothing.Just a little thing which was unsaid by one..and the other finds out from another person and kaboooshh came out the "we will not be friends any more" phrase.It sum what stumpped me and I was speechless and clueless of what to do.I knew what I had to do but I just couldnt.Being the middle person isnt always so sweet.

I listened to both parties speak and I come to the conclusion that they r both just lost and den comes in jealousy and everything just goes out of place that even a close friendship for two years could be destroyed.Today Im glad that they r both okay and they have come to their senses to actually talk it all out and realise that they both need each other.Just as much as I need them both.How can I live with two friends not talking to each other.Im so glad it's all over.N i sure do wish it will not happen again beacause it really did suck.How would u feel if u found out that ur two closefriends are just not going to be friends any more and both are going to go their own way and both are running away from the truth and then what?U have to start picking sides?

Im not being over emotional or anything here but I was just freaked.Just scared to thinkt that I can just loose a friend i gain the past 8 years or whutever in just a split of second.The main thing that was playing on my mind last night was mostly the plans that me n my friends have made and how we talked about our future like every single day.About how we r going to buy houses next to each other and who was goign to be whose bridesmaid.So thats why I get upset when friends fight cuz we're forgetting the bond we have.True friends are hard to find.But for now I'm really thankkful to have three of my gurls that have proven to be such great friends up til now..Nad,Pav and Aliya.Although I have other friends but they r the first people I run to for help or whutever.Whatever happens in the future I wouldn't know..but for now..Im thankful that I still got friends to depend on.

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{ 21st May 2003 }#1555# 
Itz About Time by Lilix

Yesterday was just heaven cuz it was the last day of exam!!Weehoo though I think Im gonna fail add maths yet again bcuz I left out half of the paper and my dad is going to kill me bcuz I take tuition and I cant answer the whole paper??Huhu...Im a dead person before holiday uwaaa..went to Nad's house with Pav and Aliya last night.Played our guitars..or banging on it..whichever hihi =)N den finally talked on d phone with *ehem* n he was well nice..keke n a lil kerek which made things easier cuz Im the kerek sort also keke..but wel we were basically just saying "ehem" "yea" "aaa.." during the frst half an hour of conversation keke..how weird..but then it runed out okay and I was just so wrecked nervous that I dont even know what I babbled about to him.

N today everybody is in Pyramid but I am not.Why?Because my mother decided dat she had to go out and I had to take care of her kiln.The timer dunno what crap.Uwaaa..it's borrrringgggg.I wanted to go watch Matrixxx ishH!N since I'm bored I'm uploading all the pictures in my cam but haihss I dunno how to ermss do that winamp clip thing..haihs n my bloody tagboard is not working is it??I just found out today dat the submit button cannot be pressed..n I have no clue on how to make it clickable again!!Rotten rotten luck..Oh n I just like the song It's About Time by Lilix.I think they r an all girl band.So Im gonna go try mend the tagboard soo...
4.39 pm-->THE TAGBOARD IS WORKING!!!!

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{ 18th May 2003 }#2355# 
Complicated by Avril Lavigne

Damaged by TLC
Okay so Im kinda sad today cuz well Zuhair's gone back to Seremban.How boringggg.Now my phone wont ring according to time uwaa..hermss n den we fought last night n before he went back just now so Im kinda bumped bout it =( He sounded like he hated me when I called him just now.I hope he doesnt..cuz well I do admit I was such a big bitch to him the past two days uwaa..=(So neway this morning he surprised me by coming over n giving me the most adorable purple bear I've ever seen.It is so comeelll!! N the best part is itz purple!! +)Now that bear is going to make me smile every day..

Herms n out of the blue today I got an sms from mr*ehem* weehooo..he finally topped uP!! But like darn it I cant reply cuz my prepaid dah habis pegh..such luck.Oh well at least he smsed..LALALALA Im studying bio ryte now n I swear I know I will fail cuz I hate this subject.Nuttin about it is interesting.Well sum larr like the enzim but the rest??Im a blurr case here.I got 6 topics to study n I only did 4.Dont worry Pav..we'll die together tommorow Aaaaaaa..so Im off now to go create Zuhey his email n go crack my head on the wall or sumtyn..

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{ 17th May 2003 }#2330# 
Sometimes by Britney
Okay wutever I blogged about yesterday Im taking half of it back.I dont hate A.Half of it is all a misunderstanding haihs!So I am happy now n I got my million watt smile back =)N yesterday I did have fun in Pyramid.Aliya went to get her new guitar.Oh yeah she n Pav now r learning to play guitar from Jere hehe..guitar fever haihs thanx to Jere la ni who played so so good the other day till we all dah fall in love ngan guitar.So during in pyramid..Zuhair ignored me for like half the time cuz he wuz pissed cuz he didnt get to see matrix..hish tah aper aper jer.Well like too bad he's not above 18 =)

Today Zuhair's off to Pyramid with his buddies n he broke his promise.Cakap nak dtg study with me but instead he wuz in Pyramid playing snooker n smoking his heart out.Haihs I wonder when the hell he's going to stop killing himself.Well I have no rights to bising2 cuz according to him bestfriends have no rights to say nething peghh.Talked to Taza today..itz been along time since we talked n found out that she had a crush on *ehem* too before +gasp+ hihi so she was telling all the glory details of their "didn't happen" relationship.hihi..hermss..well I have nuttin more to talk bout so..

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{ 16th May 2003 }#2309# 
Crush by Mandy Moore

I've never felt dis PISSED IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE! Ok lets just put my ex-bf as A n the guy I've been crushing on as(B).Now I called A for fun n A was out so whudeva.N den A called me n told me to call him on B's phone.I'm like....WHUT THE FUCK..ok fine so I called n den A talked like he was my bf still kinda thing..HELLO what would B think ryte??I'm so never gonna have a chance with him now! He must think I'm like this big slut who cheats behind her bf's back n crap.I'm so crying ryte now..cuz I just URghhh feel fuckin annoyed.The only time I tot I would call B's phone is when he starts calling me n all..Gosh I dunno how to explain..mayb u ppl wont understand how I feel..but it's just so annoyinG!

A is like purpoesely doing it.And den when I asked A if B was there..A totally embarassed me by yelling out loud "I called to talk to u n u bising2 tanye psl org lain" FUCKED UP!I'm so embarassed.Damn it la I hate A so much.U know what..B mayb does not like me at all even but just the thought of A trying to still sound like my bf when he is just a bestfriend to me now is so bloody fucked up.I so wont believe if he cums up to me n tell me that he wasnt planning it like dat.GOWD A could have just told me to call his other friend's hp or call his house when he gets back.Dats what he always does.+( Maybe B doesnt even care for whatever dat happened just now but I DO!Now imagine if one day a guy I like..likes me back n den A does it all again..of cuz I wont get that guy would i?guys n guys..they dont ruin friendships cuz of a girl..they just back out..WHATEVER laa..now I cnt even study my bio..everyone should die die die die die.

N the trip to Pyramid today sucked like hell.I wish I was never there.U know what??I JUST DONT GET IT.I'm always so nice to A so why does he has to be mean to me?WHY?


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{ 15th May 2003 }#2030# 
Running by No Doubt

Cry by Mandy Moore
Just came back from sending Pav n Aliya home.We were supposedly to go to the library to study but hmmmss library was closed hiahiah =)So neway today I had tuition like damnnn early..9 a.m.I was half awake when my teacher came n he was just going on n on about the add maths topic n it was almost 11 when he stopped talking haihhss..so tired!After that I followed my dad to Parade.Bought a few stuffs but goshh I was so pissed!I tried like so many pretty clothes n they all ended up not being my SIZE!What da +BEEP+.So and then went to Aliya's house n frem there we went to Helena's house along with Pav.Nad couldnt come! =( cuz she didnt have transport n she had a fever.Did nuthing much..talked n talked..n ate sumtyn which I dunno wat the name is..Helena's mom made..gowdd it was delicious!!

Did a few stupid crap like Aliya n I were kicking each other for no reason.Shishh..I feel like 6 all over again!Pav is feeling much better though her head still throbs at times..but it's such a wonderful thing to see her laugh n crack stupid jokes like she always does oh n talking bout her Gurdev 24/7 hehe =)Came back to my house around 6.30 and because of that I think Zuhair's pissed at me cuz hmmss I promised to meet him n I well kinda forgot to call him.Uh-ohhh...IF u're reading this..I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A BAD BAD FRIEND!!=( Now I feel bad..cuz he cums back like once in a trillion years n I didnt go meet him yet n he's only going to be ere till Sunday ayyoo.Hermsss I betta go call him again n check if he's mad...

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{ 14th May 2003 }#1830# 
Friends 4 Eva by Vitamin C

Im All About Lovin You by Bon Jovi
I just have to blog about today.It's the scariest..saddest and happiest day of my life!At 11..Aliya called me up crying.I knew sumtyn was up.I knew it had sumtyn to do with our friend's scan result.Okie since everything is fine now I guess I can just say out loud who that friend is.Itz Paviter..she was suspected to have blood clot or tumor by her doctor so she went for a head scan.So anyway Aliya told me that Pav's doc said dat she has 3 blood clots in her brain n dat she got like 6 months to live.we started crying...den I called up Jere,Nadya,Arinna n Zuhair while Aliya called Helena.We were crying like mad.I meann..HELLO!!Pav's like a sister to us all.Den we all decided to meet up at Aliya's house since Pav didnt want to be home cuz well everyone in her house was just so sad.Helena picked me n Pav up and Jere was already at Aliya's when we reached there.Nadya n Arinna came a bit later.

Pav called sum other people to tell the news.We were just sitting there in Aliya's house not knowing wether to cry or laugh.Den Jere started playing the song he wrote for Pav on his guitar and we Aliya,Helena,me n Pav started crying again.The song was so sweet n everything was so sad...Nad n Arinna came by later..we all had pizza.We decided not to cry ne more..so we started cracking up jokes n Pav felt better.Den her mom called n told her dat they were going to go c another doc to ask for second opinion because they think that her doctor might be wrong about the result.A lil hope there so we played sum games..hung out..n den Helena had to back cuz well she's not suppose to even be outside of the house cuz of her operation..

So around 4..Aliya's mum sent us all back n den at around 5 sumtyn just now the great news came in!! Pav called n said dat the second doctor said that she has only one blood clot n not THREE!! n dat itz curableeee!!!I am so happy!!!Aliya was screaming on d phone n Helena smsed n said we should all go trash her house cuz she's so happy.Pav was practically fllying of happiness.Called Nad to tell her n she too was glad n she's like.."told ya so!!" hehe.Haihhss dat bloody doctor..I think his name was Kumar..I wonder where he got his stupid doctor thang..Ill so bash him up If I see him.Making us all worried to deatH!!!!So today was the scariest..saddest n yet the HAPPIEST day of my life.Now I can actually go to school n smilee n study for my bio exam hehe =)

Zuhair said he'd swing by my house today to visit me but haaa last minute ckp dier nak stay kat Pyramid.Takper takper..camni laa buat kat kawan uwaaaaa hehe =)Haihss I dunno what else to say.I am just so happy dat I think if u tell me to jump of the Eifel Tower I would..ok maybe not the Eifel tower..maybe my bed or sumtyn hehe =)Pav's bf..Gurdave must be so happy when he finds out bout this!!Ok ok..enuf..I'm off to nyum the strawberries my dad bought for mee...

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