Droitwich spa. Worcestershire.
Now this is a
place that most people will live blissfully unaware of. Populated my people who
are all related to each other, Droitwich has managed to avoid any kind of
progress, other than the ridiculous amount of housing estates built, for at
least a century now. A couple of years ago the local council introduced no
drinking zones throughout the town to cut down the amount of trouble on the
streets. This would be a good idea but considering that on the national
statistics records Droitwich has come in the top three (usually top)
towns/cities for heroin users per population clearly indicating that the council
are going in the wrong direction. In the meantime they deny all knowledge of
this problem and still insist that it is a nice rural town. On the subject of
national stats. This place is also top of the league for inbreeding. About
twenty years ago an entire new housing estate was built as a Birmingham
overspill to get some fresh genes in to the place yet still today many of the
natives have the exclusive sixth finger scar. Even the local colleges (in the
next towns, Droitwich doesn't have that luxury) warn of the problem here to
anyone training to be a teacher. Another factor the council fail to resolve.
Rather than deal with such problems the powers that be indulge in pointless endeavors
in an attempt to distract everyone. There is a lot of new statues dotted around
the place and the sign pictured above is the end result of a long, dragged out
campaign to restore the town's name from Droitwich to Droitwich spa. Who
gives a shit really. The same sign made front page news of the local paper after
somebody, who obviously shares the same attitude as me about the place, attached
an extra bit underneath say "twinned with Trumpton". He was
manhunted for it. They never caught him though. Hee hee.
Claims to fame
Other than national statistics Droitwich makes it in to the limelight more often than one would expect. Here is a list of the town's stints with stardom (I'll update it as I find them):
1:Rik Mayell went to school here. His parent are still here (last time I checked).
2: Blackadder II. At the start of the episode with Bob. Bob is told that her mother isn't dead, she's alive and well and living in....
3: One foot in the grave. I can't remember exactly which episode it was but
when Victor's weird neighbour (the one with his mother) gets a girlfriend his
date gets cancelled when she has a parachuting accident and ends up in the
tennis court in......
One foot in the Lido park.