Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you
have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it
take to
fly to Amritsar?"
Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
EMPLOYMENT..
Our sardarji was filling up an application form
for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled
NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column "Salary
Expected" : He was not sure as to
what
to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes
CROCODILE BOOTS..
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you
bring me a pair of
crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and
disappears.
Finally a
search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles
and
watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its
legs
and angrily exclaims
71st and *again* barefeet!"
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny
object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny
object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos
flask."
The sardar then asks, "What does it
do?" The clerk
responds, "It keeps
hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new
thermos.
His sardar boss sees him and asks,
"What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says,
"What does it do?" He replies, "It
keeps hot things
hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in
it?"
The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and
a coke."
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed
it
home somewhere in
Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because
he was getting complaints from his other sardar friends "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin
hai"
What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies
?
He will compare it with the original for spelling
mistakes !!
What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional
white sheet of paper ?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom
fighters. They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get
Punjab
from India but how
would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly
Banta
Singh replied,
"No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we
would
be a state of USA
and we'll automatically
get developed." All the surds became happy
on this
very simple solution but an old surd did
not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he
wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT
WOULD HAPPEN
IF BY CHANCE WE
TAKE OVER USA ?????"
> > Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found
a bargain.
> > "I would like to buy this small TV," he
told the salesman.
> > "Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he
replied.
> > He hurried home removed his turban and changed
his
> > hair style, and returned to tell the salesman
> > "I would like to buy this TV."
> > "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,"
Salesman replied.
> > "Damn, he recognized me," he thought.
he went for a
> > complete disguise
this
> > time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big
> > sunglasses, then waited
> > a few days before he again approached the
salesman.
> > "I would like to buy
this TV."
> > "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he
replied.
> > Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know
I'm a Sardar?"
> > "Because that's a microwave," he
replied.
> >
> > Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
> > Because below 18 was not allowed.
> > How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
> > Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
> > What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand
grenade at you?
> > Pull the pin and throw it back.
> > What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
> > Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.
> > How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
> > Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
> > What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands
> > tightly over his ears?
> > Trying to hold on to a thought.
> >
> > Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
> > So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
> > Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
> > They always forget the recipe.
> > How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
> > He threw it off a cliff.
> > What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
> > A wind tunnel.
> > What do you see when you look into a Sardar's
eyes?
> > The back of his head.
> > What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
> > Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
> > What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
> > Just-one Singh.
> > Why does Sardar always smile during lightning
storms?
> > They think their picture is being taken.
> > Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on
their shoes?
> > Toes Go In First.
> > How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
> > It has a stamp on it.
> > Why can't Sardar dial 911?
> > They can not find the eleven on the phone
> > How do you get Sardar on the roof?
> > Tell him the drinks are on the house.
> >
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
> > Sardar looked skyward and said "Where,
Where?
> > What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
> > You always hear about them but you never see
them.
> > Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman
as
> > opposed to a
regular one?
> > You have to hollow out the head.
> > TO LOSE WEIGHT..
> > The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight
> > kilometers a day for
300
> > days, he would loose 34
> > kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called
the
> > doctor to report he
had
> > lost the weight, but he had a problem.
> > "What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
> > "I'm 2400 kms from home."
> > TRAIN TO LUDHIANA..
> > Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a
railway station.
> > Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this
train to
> > Ludhiana?"
> >
"No," answers the Railway man.
> > "Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
> > A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when
the
> > Dinosaurs start
> > approaching he is cowering in his seat when his
> > friend asks him "kyon
> > sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai
cinema
> > hi to hai" Sardarji
> > replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai
ki cinema
> > hai lekin voh
to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
> > Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the
railway
> > tracks and he
takes
> > along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody
stops
> > him and asks "kyon
> > bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji
replies
> > "Saali train late
aati
> > hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
> > Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He
felt
> > sleepy so he gave the
guy sitting opposite him on
> > the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the
station
> > arrived. This guy
was
> > a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the
> > sardarji deserved more
> > service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the
> > barber quietly shaved
> >
off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji
was
> > woken up, and
he
> > went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his
face,
> > and suddenly
screamed when he saw the mirror.
> > Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The
> > cheat on the train
has
> > taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone
else"
> > Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to
his
> > knees and started
> > thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked,
"Your
> > donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji
replied "I
> > am thanking Him for
> > seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at
that
> > time, otherwise
I would have been missing too."
> > Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the
> > birth certificate
> > "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid:
Chinese." "How come
> > you write
"Chinese"
> > when both parents are Sikh?" " Aah,
Sardarji read a
> > newspaper, it says
> > that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a
Chinese."
> > Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent
to
> > the outer space
> > The ground control issues commands "Rubi!"
"Woof!" (
> > its the barking
sound )
> > "Press the red button." "Woof!
Woof!" "Moti!"
> > "Woof!" "Press the white
button." "Woof! Woof!"
> > "Sardarji!"
"Woof."
> >
"Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch
anything!"
> > Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street
which
> > has a Clock Tower
> > when someone asks him if he wants to buy the
clock on
> > the Tower.
Sardarji
> > says "Yes". "Give me a thousand
rupees and I'll go
> > get a ladder." The
man
> > took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited
for
> > several hours
the
> > Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the
next
> > day the Sardarji
is again walking along the same
> > street and the same man asks him to buy the
clock. "Give me a
> > thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The
Sardarji gives
> > him the thousand
and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait
and I'll go
> > get a ladder."
> > DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
> > Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay.
They
> > managed to get
into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed
to
> > get a bottom
seat,
> >
But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a
> > while when the rush
was
> > over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta
Singh. He
> > met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats
in
> > front with both
hands, scared to death.
> > He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's
goin'
> > on? Why are you so scared ? I
> > was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta
> > replies. "Yeah, but
you've got a *driver.*"
> > Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
The
> > doctor asked
his what had happened to his ears and he answered,
" Iwas
> > ironing a shirt
and
> > the phone rang - but instead of picking up the
phone I accidentally
> >
picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "
Oh Dear! " the doctor
> > exclaimed in
disbelief. "But ..what happened to your
other ear?"
> > "The scoundrel called
back."
>>>> >
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree
>>>> >
and Santa Singh was singing a song. After 4 songs
>>>> >
Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started
>>>> >
singing again. Banta Singh : Santa Singh, what is
>>>> >
the matter with you? Why are you hanging upside down.
>>>> >
Santa Singh : I am singing the B side.
>>>> > This sardarji goes
to see Jurassic Park and when the
>>>> >
Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat
>>>> >
when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat
>>>> >
hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.;
>>>> >
Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai
>>>> >
ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya
>>>> > pata"
>>>> >
======================================================
>>>> > A sardarji with
two red ears
>>>> >
went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had
>>>> >
happened to his ears and he answered, ;I was ironing
>>>> >
a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up
>>>> >
the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck
>>>> >
it to my ear.;
>>>> > Oh Dear!; the
doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
>>>> >
But ... what happened to the other ear?;
>>>> >
The scoundrel called back.;
>>>> >
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University
>>>> >
final examination. He takes his seat in the examination
>>>> >
hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and
>>>> >
then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and
>>>> >
throws them out of the window. He then removes his
>>>> >
turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and
>>>> >
watch follow suit.
>>>> >
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what
>>>> >
is going on.
>>>> >
Oye, I am only following the instructions
>>>> >
'Answer in brief'.;
>>>> >
Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His
>>>> >
friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he
>>>> >
replied ;Exam was okay, but for the past tense of
>>>> >
THINK, I thought, and thought,
and thought ... and at last I
>>>> >
wrote THUNK !!!;
>>>> >
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt
>>>> > sleepy
so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20
>>>> >
rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This
>>>> > guy
was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees , the
>>>> >
sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji
>>>> >
fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.
>>>> >
When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up,
>>>> > and
he went home.
>>>> >
Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly
>>>> >
screamed when he saw the mirror. Asked a person next to him
;
>>>> >
What's the matter?; Replied he ;The cheat on
>>>> >
the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone
>>>> >
else.;
>>>> >
There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy
>>>> >
street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the
>>>> >
bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The
>>>> >
people on the street find it strange that instead of
>>>> >
mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage
>>>> >
baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh
>>>> >
Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach
>>>> >
rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai
>>>> >
hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar
>>>> >
brain tumour se mara hai!!!;
>>>> >
So this sardarji is walking the other day and comes
>>>> >
across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess what he
>>>> >
might be thinking??
>>>> >
Saala aaj bhi girna padega...;
>>>> >
One great day in Bombay, a couple were on a honeymoon
>>>> >
tour. They saw one sardarji in front of a hospital
>>>> >
(Breach Candy) was trying to fill some form. So the
>>>> >
couple enquired eagerly ;aare Sardarji kya kar raahe
>>>> >
ho.;
>>>> >
Sardarji replied that I
>>>> >
had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form.
>>>> >
The couple as per
>>>> >
schedule, took the Bombay to Delhi Flight for their next
>>>> >
destination. On the next day, they find the same
>>>> >
Sardarji, in front of Lal Qilla in Delhi filling the
>>>> > same
form.
>>>> >
So once again young couple
>>>> >
curiously asked ;Aare Sardarji kya kar raahe
>>>> >
ho; sardarji once again replied I had a baby and I
>>>> >
am filling the birth certificate form.;
>>>> >
The couple said but
>>>> >
sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same
>>>> >
form, how come you're in Delhi?
>>>> >
Sardarji cooly replied
>>>> > Aare ye form mein
leekha hey ke FILL IN CAPITALS.
>>>> > ================
sardars are fun ain't they...TAKE CARE!!!
----- End of Sardarji's Encyplopaedia -----
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