WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? ...
> KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To
get to the other side.
> PLATO: For the greater good.
> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
> KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
> TIMOTHY LEARY: Because
that's the only trip the establishment would
let
it take.
> SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
> RONALD REAGAN: I
forget.
> CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To
boldly go where no chicken has gone
before.
> HIPPOCRATES: Because of
an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. >
> ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT:
Deregulation
of the chicken's side of
the road was threatening its dominant market position.
The chicken
was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the
competencies
required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in
a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by
rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen
helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital
and
experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology
in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management
framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of
road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with
deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day
itinerary of
meetings
in order to leverage their personal knowledge
capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize
with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering
and
successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value
framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.
The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating
an
impactful environment which was strategically based,
industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified
market
message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core
values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business
integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change
to become more successful.
> LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The
road, you see, represents the black man. The
chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him
down.
> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I
envision a world where all chickens will
> be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into
question. >
> MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
> chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."
And the chicken crossed the >
road, and there was much rejoicing.
> FOX MULDER: You saw it
cross the road with your own eyes. How many
> more
chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? >
> RICHARD M. NIXON: The
chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
> chicken did NOT cross the road.
> MACHIAVELLI: The point
is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares
why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there
was.
> JERRY SEINFELD: Why
does anyone cross a road? I mean,
why doesn't
> anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing
walking > around all over the place, anyway?"
> FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
> BILL GATES: I have just
released the new Chicken Office 2000, which
> will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
> documents, and balance your checkbook.
> OLIVER STONE: The
question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same
time,
whom
> we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
> DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
> selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to
cross roads.
> EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
> BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
> RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The
chicken did not cross the road .. it
transcended it.
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To
die. In the rain.
> COLONEL SANDERS: I
missed one?
NOW GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!!!! ani
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