Today I was at the exposition again. For the lottery with scanner as a prize. When I got there I saw that I took an advertising instead of my invitation. I was hesitating but I had some feeling that I'll win and if I was to go home and back I was sure I'll be late because it was 3 pm already.So I finally bought on the half od my last money a ticket to enter. I will say only that the lottery was to be held in 1.5 hours, so I would have time to go there and back (if I'd not be too tired for feet trips). OK, I was hanging out on the exposition and waited for the lottery to begin. I never gained in a lottery but I had feeling that today I will win the main prize. They had many other prizes such as books, joysticks, games and cups. I was standing in the fron row right near the scanner on the prizes table and I had this exciting presentiment it's mine. I was trying to build future reality where it's mine... When all the prizes where given out and there was only scanner left, I saw that the drawer changed - they made a little girl draw the bet... Hew!... It wasn't me.

Well, of course I felt somewhat stupid for everything I've done, loosing all day on this lottery and hoping like idiot that I can win (I never win in lotteries) the scanner I need so mcuh... But well, I tried to not take it too close to the heart.

As for the rest, today I felt extremely horny and lonely but all I could get of communication is few talks on the phone. I often wonder, is it good or bad that I don't hang out with different people, that I have but few friends... In the days like this it's sad... No, it's always sad to feel lonely and have noone to go pass time with...

May be I always passed too much time with books, writing and computers?...

*sigh*