The holydays have passed very calmly - nothing was happening. Was mostly alone all days. Only yesterday Tania and Slavik came to take a walk together.

Was reading Lazarev again - have found out certain reasons for things that happens to me that I've written down. Even got some info (or just thoughts?) about previous lives.

Main as following: lost money because shouldn't too much idealize job and didn't take correctly prevention with web-site restrictions; alone because too much attached to perfect partnership destiny and corresponding agression just keeps me away from men; my love shouldn't be killed in any way but any shadows of hope or personal attachment should be degaged... My main problems are atachments to own abilities and of beloved as well as of wisdom and happy destiny in private relationships, what makes very much sense in forbidding by Cosmos to get into relationships with someone with same attachments as to not kill each other with them... Good news is that changing myself I can impact close people for better too, not having to explain them my worries about their attachments.

Bro is not coming in contact at all... that's probably what should happen... but still very drearily, like without sun... Although I try my best to enjoy the real sun that shines over Odessa... pity it's already dark outside to wipe of my sadness.

In the morning I had good mood, however... I guess it adds that I was working on the first page for web-site all day long, trying to make something acceptable from what they're imposing, but I'm not perfectly content and not very sure that it will be accepted.

I would like to hope I turn onto new ways of percetions with more light and lighter thinking, just have to try harder, I guess as of this day without inner Sun.