I have had a wonderful week-end!

At Saturday, Tania asked me to go with her to a big market to find her summer shoes. But she have founf nothing and I turned to find alot of things for me! I was very hesitating as to buying them because I hardly had enough for the camera Polina should bring to me from the States... but I had this feeling this is my shopping day!... and I remebered the Bible saying: "live like birds, let your Celectial Father take care about your tomorrow"... and I went for it!

My mom had very big eyes when one after one I showed her summer shoes on a very thick platform, but elegant and very comfortable to walk in, a black grace-body, very sexy and a very sexy black long dress. Mom said I should go to the wedding in it. I said her my hesitations as to not spoil the mood to my bro's bride on the wedding day, who will be on 8th month of pregnancy and with all her jealousy and my bro who have been reacting on less sexy look by me... Well, mom said as well as Tania that I'm thinking stupidities and if I'm so stupid I should probably go in paranja... OK, I put up, why indeed I should look bad on someone's wedding? Indeed, better to not go at all...

We took also a walk with Tania, so I was all day long with her. Mom worries me - we can't feed my friends and mom wouldn't understand that she shouldn't propose rather than I shouldn't bring them home for that reason (by me, all avoiding is the same in front of god, I preferred in my time to be honest that I can't afford it and they were understanding it as well as I was understanding them for they're in the same position, just my mom is fond of lots of food in the fridge even would that be something cheap).

I though that our visit to the CD-market is cancelled with Slavik for Tania said they'll go with him to another market for summer shoes for her in the Sunday morning, but he called me because they got back quickly and I met him at the CD-market, although haven't seen him at first.

I bought MP3 Vivaldi collection to Laptev who has birthday at Friday, hoping he doesn't have this one yet, knowing he'll like it, if so.

Then we went to the sea-side and have found a bench that was my favourite in childhood - thank God it was still there and inoccupied. We were lying or sitting on that large bench till the Sun came down to the hills and it was such a nice day - just warm up on the sun, kissing hot my lips, listening to the birds and wind in the trees and thinking nothing!...

When going out of the beach zone, I remebered Vadik, my other named brother lives somewhere beside. I have founf only his phone and called him and my guess was right about the courtyard where it was. So we passed the evening with him and his wife (also some friends were coming and going all evening long) at vodka bought by Slavik and home-made liquor by his wife.

Today however after having a nicest conversation with han Lin, I realized one frightening point in it - he said I offended alot of people in PH and that I should apologize. Then I got Russian Dv's directors e-mail, much more sharp, speaking about the same!... I had such a shame that I've showed myself coming-across roughly and unhappy eveil person... Well, to Han's advice I've written a letter of apologies and to Polina's have sent them to Directors only and have kept my other designs, sending only the original russian in ukrainian and the same with the changed breaking line. Wow, Edward wrote, CCing to Jared (main to take decisions) that he appreciates my letter and approves my minor change...

I pray that I could reduce the shameful impression I've done to people! And now should make huge progress in everything I guess to have my contract prolonged. Also, I'm ashamed to understand this flaw of mine have done even more harm to me in the past and I of course worry and have shame that I even didn't notice how I've hurt people's feelings!... OK, I should calm down and assure myself I can change fast. Hope that adding to my constant thinking-reduction effort I can succeed soon too, just have to keep th effort.

BUT! How my life is changing and correcting and directing me once I wished to change!... Thank you, God, for this..

And the most! forgot to mention... I FOUND MY 100$ on SATURDAY EVENING! (and Polina who's back didn't bring the camera, so my money is safe in the pocket and I'm going to keep my promise which I believe saved me and spend the rest of the hundred I spent on clothing for the family needs, not just for me and have to attach it more attention in the future)

And God save my heart at Wednesday for my soft point is coming to spend most of the day with me, if we believe his words! Even though it's all for work, still... ah!

Alleluya! :-)))))