It was the fool moon day. Yesterday in the evening I didn't have time to cut my hair like I wanted. I had this idea a month ago for feeling it could take off me all the pain I was carrying with myself for my love and it was back now with the difference that I wanted to cut it short then and now I felt like cutting a half. Full moon is the best to get all bad emotions/energy out. In the morning I woke up too late to ask my mom do it too, but I felt I have to do it now. So I've cut my hair to myself. Seems it looks OK :-)

The day was nothing very special except me talking with my bro about reasons for his polypes growing...

I must try hard to learn doing my tasks with womanly ways because I do use manly energetical ways and that's why perhaps for a half we didn't get together when all else was fine for it wiht my N-bro... I think his bride do use womanly way but I prefer to just not think about her hysterical caprices whenever I wanted to touch my bro for any reason when I was in Piter and on some other occasions... God, will I be like that too when pregnant???

Yet, I must give her credit because she was also patient sometimes when she wanted to cry and what's IMPORTANT: judging from the way we talked today on ICQ, she FINALLY have digested in two weeks that I just think otherwise and accepted it... Hiew!... She must just be very little perceptive but I see now it's not from bad will - just from abscense of knowledge and of "know-how", like myself absolutely in 6th grade, 12 years but the difference is that she's a woman, so she just uses the womanly methods that she believes being good... again, not from bad will, from abscence of knowledge. But I can still learn, though on another spiral level, because they DO work because they're womanly, the thing I'm learning now, degaging my manly habits in acting :-)

Also, I installed the photo of the three of us (bro, his bride and me) as a desktop wallpaper. T.B. said we're unmistacably brother and sister (!!!) and that his bride also looks fitting in our family. Oh God, that was the only thing that bothered me - that they don't look alike, like life partners usually do, but since T.B. sees it, probably that's just my subjectivity against her... Although yes, she fits with him much better by that level of life perception - superficial (to me), although his interest to move further may finally put him far from her... And yet, I understand, I was too "smarty", manly for him to chose me from all, because he's a very manly man in this sense, he feels it with guts... SO if I want one like this... I know already and finally (THANK GOD!) what to learn!... But just amazing how much this meeting gave to me... :-)

In the evening Tania came. I have shown her pictures from Piter but her reaction was somewhat very moody. Moody in general, as I understood, she was seeing all the world in dark. I think I should ask her tomorrow :-)

When talking to her I noticed I'm really into those moon rythms now :-) thinking of them, correcting to them all the time :-) But I think it's good, it could be something very helpful. Are you joking for a coincidence - two books at once on the same theme - WOMANLY energy and ways... swtiching into Inn flow of the world, my natural...

We were hungry and we took some sweets and juice adn walked home. It was raining a bit. Mom and Tania had a big talk about Slavik's problems (mom was advising to not go to where Tania introduced him for work and now this advice ahve proven to be right to them). While they were talking I was inspired to make a design for a thing I want already for a long time make for my bro (I don't know if I ever have so much time to do it but I'd like very much to).

Also I saw who was born when, on which phase (age or expirience of the soul reflecting) and all my guesses were true - Tania, also IIIrd, mom - Ist and Slavik - IVth...

Yes, I do think, bro is behind me by perceptions, but he's at least interested... I wonder, could that be more of expirience than age - the way walked in lifes and could people go back, or faster-slower... Because anyway, this uniting feeling for our souls doesn't fit very well in such difference.... OK, enough.

Well, Tania got better by the very evening, calmer. She's nervous because she's not satisfied with her personal life and wants to get out of some relationships but her old boyfriend, she can't find him although she's ready for a talk (as she thinks, at least) and that depresses her... But I told her, looking in my calendar that next Monday will be a good day for it. Let's see if she finally catches him on this day :-)

OK, I'm extremely sleepy those days, so I go to sleep. (But such a wonderful music playing in the TV where some French film with Alain Delon is shown... Oh, frenchmen knew how to make so intimate films and I think music was not the last helper!)