The day was full of events and acquirments (if I can form such a word in English)

First of all, I spent a frightening amount of money, but my excuse is that I bought really necessary things, that I have run out of: shampoo, toothpaste, hygienic stuff, new razor! (Gilette of course) That was a great joy indeed - when I was in Piter, I have secretly tried my bro's Mach3 and I was conquered at once. So, as this cost as much as would cost new set of blades for my old Women Sensor, I have decisively bought this one (with 2 blades included). Whew! I used it in the evening - something to come from! ;-) And last but not least at all or even the most important - I bought shoes! Not too great, on heel again, same style as my cute boots' but not so high and they seem very comfortable... not to mention that I had no everyday shoes at all for this Spring! :-) And I forgot to metniion 2 CDs - MP3s of all A-Ha and an audio CD of Ricky Martin! ;-P I like the sexy drive of his songs! :-)

All this shopping was made in a cadre of visiting work to catch Polina but she came only after I came back from shopping and was going to leave. So, I had to be late in time for Tania's arrival and Christopher James' call. But I called home, asked Tania to wait and dictated what to say. Because I had to clarify yet the set of John Taylor possible CDs that Polina may see there (well, if there is money left from the DCamera). I have shown her the photos from Kiev retreat. They're awesome indeed. And wished her good trip.

When I came back home, Tania only had time to asnwer my question if Chris called (he did and she thought he didn't understand what they both with mom tried to read him on the paper that I dictated), and the phone rang. That was Chris. Very funny but he doesn't sound so indicisive talking as he seems at taking decisions - quite confident voice I would say... That's long play indeed - 2 years to decide to come and meet me! but who knows what he has in his head and heart, he have been impulsive, impressed, excited towards me by times and always sayihg hello, every time he was on-line and that was every day before I have hidden myself in Privacy mode on ICQ at work... But I remebered once again that the guy makes parashute jumps, BY THE WAY! :-)))

SO we talked for around half an hour. I don't know who he is because as well as there was photos of his "home" and that was a gorgeous huge subtropical desert ranch, as well he was saying he has some boring work as digital operator and gains very little, but he was calling me from the beach on his mobile and said on my worries that I don't have to worry, we can talk as long as we want.... There are of course such phenomenons as bravado and also that I don't know how indeed cheap all those things are in states (I know that not like here). Well, never mind. So we talked until line got cut and he didn't call back, so we went to walk with Tania.

I wanted to go see Lena (who are our rentiers with Igor) because I've finished finally the Torrero song lyrics. But in a little park in front of their house we met Slavik who was sitting there waiting for them - they weren't at home. I forgot to metnion that he've lost his job this week, the one that Tania got him into and that my mom disrecommended because there were very bad people (but that was after the process was engaged, and we then got very thoughtful why would Tania not want to consult with mom first for my mom works in this system many years and Tania only 1 year). Well, finally, my mom's words have proven to be true - he couldn't hold there even for 1 month I think.

We decided to drink some beer. Well, Slavik gave his last grivna and I added 3 and we bought it, we went to my home (it was closer to mom's apartment and we could wait for Lena and Igor there but Tania needed some hygienic features so we went to my place. Mom was doing math exercices like always with her "goodmaker"'s granddoughter. Shortly after we started Tania left because she was too sleepy.

We chatted with Slavik a bit. About my problems, about his. I told him in very general traits what I brought from my trip and few little accident for which it was shameful for me that it's such an only starting relationship that is supposed to be great love. After few of them, Slavik said: "If even this little thing was so, why then all the rest of the circus???" But I had to explain him that my bro seems to interpret everything very very differently. And I don't know either he's too frightened to look into the depth of it, either he does but he's a prisonner of principles but better for him if that's first variant. No difference for me anyway.

I told Slavik about my latest spirit work and how I am guided and that I make success. Even that I had a momentarily feeling that I'm one with the world and all I see talks to me. He congratulated me because he said even momentarily that is already quite a great achievement. And btw he confirmed all my guesses and knowledge about Lunar phases connection to soul expirience. When I said he's older than us all as he was born in IV phase and that his life task is to win the dragon (that we are only discovering now with Tania), his immediate reaction was: "Yeah, if he wasn't so damn powerful!... And the most disgusting that it's me myself". Well, we understand each other well enough.

Also we talked about his problems and I told that I think the surrounding where he tries to work don't suit him at all by level, may be he should try something else (OK, I know all the problems he listed but if we only list problems, it doesn't help). He also said that only after this work he understood that he's absolutely stranger to their world. And also he said he understood that not Slavik has soul but that his soul has Slavik. I could understand it's a big step too.

That was already on the street as we were parting, mom came and I wanted a bit more beer, so we were sitting on tramway station on a bank and phylosphying :-)

And as we were talking, I felt for the first time that I admitted a thought that this world is an illusion. But not in the sense I thought before. Because of this feeling that could be probably connecting with my half but that life absolutely denies any possibility of it and that I feel that what this life does is NOT important - the only important thing is that inner feeling of wholeness.... and love, love to everything.

I think Slavik didn't want to see me lately for some reasons but now he's in state of soul when he finds me inspiring again... Well, that's a better state of soul because when he hates me, it means he has destructive thoughts... poor Slavik, I thought again, he remebered today my briliantly crazy offer to marry... but nope, he'll have to do it himself if I'll have guts to make such a sacrifice (well, probably I find again that it's the best way to pay my last life karmic sins). But right now I'm not ready either... well, I better reply on Heaven to lead me the best ways.

He was under impression of a dream he saw - he knows it's truth - that in last life he was shot by communists in 33th. And I was under impression of Nautilus Pompilius song "Mother of Gods": "I wil tell you the innermost secret now, I've kept silence for a long time but now I'm ready. I'm the creator of everything you see aroung and you, my joy, you're the mother of gods. This city of killers, putanes and thives exists only while we believe in it. It's enough to re-open our eyes and we're satnding again in the beginning of the ceituries. Mother of gods, we were walking all day long, we're all wet and your wet jeans lie on the floor, so let's come to do it faster!" etc... fantastic - giving me chills down the spine... That's true... but I would have given all to expirience SUCH deep mutual love that both come to feel it, because otherwise this feeling wouldn't come.

Also, Slavik noticed at once that by times I slip down to logic again. So we drank beer, smoked and I turned out my mind to contemplate the night fog.