Today again I felt down and consequently nervous from the morning. even felt like I'm back to my old uncontrolable state that have gone since my trip to Piter. The Moon days however are good for actions. So, either I'm not doing anything great and my energy truns into destructive ways, either - other variant - perhaps it's because it's Holy Week. If we remember that people shape reality by their beliefs, I find it quite corresponding also with bad weather for Catholic Easter while Catholic world at this time enjoys good weather and always good weather for Orthodox Christmas...

Well, as I said I haven't done anything great today. I can't even say what especially I was doing - mostly struggling with computer and browsing some personla sites. Ah! I had quite interesting horoscope today: "The Capricorn Moon turns the tables on you in delightful ways. The matchmaker is matched with the candidate of his or her dreams. The biggest surprise is how surprised you are. This seemed so obvious" and I did saw a personal profile of a man today that made me shiver. I wrote him but I have no special hopes, even much doubts.... Dark'n'Stormy Knight is his username: a warrior attitude, deep, intense, strong, spiritual, but "dark" and not sure that he's able to handle long-distance relationship seriously, as it seemed to me by his social position. Well, just a curious today's episode.

Bro is quite nice and only confirmed once again my respect for him because he refuses to discuss equally his bride with me and me with his bride. Sweet bro... However he was too busy today, Chris too...

And I have found again the MP3 server in Odessa music.odessa.net. Although cute FTP made a joke with me strating dowload the entire pub/ directory! Yet, what it did - Bach's Air on String - is pretty nice melody I like!

Today is not a day for spending it alone, but I have a photo visit at 9pm and I hardly talked Tania into seeing each other now - they have some difficult surrounding problems at home that they periodically have all 10 years of our friendship and I still don't know what it is, although I know it's connected with their father. And she had no forces to go out. Yet, I talked her into.

Tania's also in a very down state yestrday and tomorrow. SO I can be proud, because yet in the morning I managed to plunge inside mySelf and find back the shining of pure love in my heart and soul - I just said to myself that I can't be back and it's probably just difficult part that exists on any road, kind of seduction to stop... anyway, I must stand to the last drop of forces to bear this shining happy loving feeling in my heart... I know on continuous efforts it becomes easier... SO I just switched off, plunged, and although during the day I had justice anger against our Kiev Vika etc... I feel that I DID succeed to bring back my "this feeling of perfection that is heart of mine"! :-))) It's obviously a step forward, an improvements of my ego. I'm so happy I can keep moving and keep this new happy feeling that Piter trip (or more exactly meeting my bro) gave me!

Weel, have to run to meet Tania, for I'm as always late!