| By
Cassandra Bradford Disclaimer: This is
purely the work of a fan in appreciation of a
spectacular television show and manga, Sailor
Moon, by the talented Naoko Takeuchi. The Sailor
Senshi, Silver Millennium, and all the rest
associated with Sailor Moon is © 1994-2001 Naoko
Takeuchi. I claim no ownership of the original
characters from her work, nor do I wish to make a
profit off of this, I only wish to make a
tribute. "How Can I Not Love You" ©
Joy Enriquez.
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Cannot touch, Cannot hold, Cannot
be together
Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot have each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know
She lifted her gaze in shock as his words tore
their way through her heart. "Don't you
understand?!?! It's over! I don't care what we
were in the past! The past is the past, now it's
OVER!" The words rang through her head as
she stood in shocked silence and watched the love
of her life turn his back to her and walk away.
She couldn't move, she could barely breath. Why?
What could she have possibly done wrong? She
didn't understand it.
"Mamo-chan, wait..." She barely
whispered. He was too far gone. What had
happened? What brought this about? Her mind
whirled in confusion and she just stood there as
a tear rolled down her cheek. Followed soon after
by another and another until there were too many
to possibly stop. Slowly she turned around toward
home, toward safety...she walked slowly and
automatically in the correct direction the shock
of what had just happened taking her over. What
happened? Mamo-chan broke up with me...that's
what happened...Baka Usagi! BAKA! She
mentally attacked herself. She had to have done
something wrong. There has to be something wrong
with her. She turned a corner and found a phone
booth standing nearby. She walked over to it,
slid the door open and stepped inside. Once she
closed the door her shock broke and she fell back
against one of the glass walls as the powerful
emotions overtook her. He expected her not to
love him anymore...he expected her to just forget
about him...She slid down the wall and sat,
pulling her knees to her chest. Her whole frame
shook as she cried. Not the wailing cries that
she cried when she scraped her knee, but rather
soft pitiful yelps as she could barely breath as
the tears flowed freely. "I'm sorry mom, I
guess Mamoru's not going to be coming to dinner
after all." She murmured as the rest of her
walls fell, wondering how she could possibly not
love him.
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one waltz away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
He saw the shock register in her eyes. He wanted
to just pull her into his arms and tell her
everything was going to be all right. But he
couldn't. He had to break this off to save her.
His heart broke into a thousand pieces when he
saw the questions and self accusations burning in
her eyes. Oh Usako, don't blame
yourself...please...you are perfect my princess.
Please don't cry, forget me. He turned his
back to her because he could not bear to see her
cry. "Don't you understand?!?! It's over! I
don't care what we were in the past! The past is
the past, now it's OVER!" He spoke the cruel
words. They sounded even crueler than he had
intended. He hated doing this. He hated hurting
his Usako. Then he just walked away. He wanted
her to hate him, to despise him, to want to see
him dead. That would make things easier, but he
knew in his heart that she could not.
Tsukino Usagi was far too pure to hate anyone,
particularly him. She was filled with such love
and light and he had almost seen that light go
out. Her friends would hate him, Ami, Minako,
Makoto, and Rei. Rei would hate him most of all
for breaking her sister's heart. Queen Serenity,
he had failed her as well. But this is for the
best, isn't it? The dreams, they said Usako would
die if I stayed too close. She would die, I can
not allow that to happen...though I might as well
have just driven the knife through her heart all
ready. He walked swiftly to his apartment and
shut the door. He leaned back against the door
and slid down it as he lost all energy. He pulled
his knees up to his chest and took up a position
like Usagi's. He began to cry, the tears falling
fast and in great quantity. His heart was
breaking as well.
Cannot dream, Cannot share sweet and tender
moments
Cannot feel how we feel, Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on,
Must not say what we've known all along
I did see what I
thought I saw earlier...didn't I? Sailor Moon
sighed and closed her eyes. Ignoring the battle
going on around her. She had seen it. Mamoru was
out riding his bike with another woman. She
closed her eyes as tears streaked down her face
at the memory. The cold words he said.
"She's just some girl." I'm just
some girl to him now...is that it? Sailor
Moon sighed and lifted her gaze to the fight.
What's the point of fighting? What's the point
of living? Usagi sighed and looked up as the
droid loomed over her and the other Sailor
Senshi. "Now Sailor Moon! Hurry while it's
weak!" She heard Sailor Mars scream. Why
should I? I don't want to. Let the droid kill me.
Leave me guys...I can't do this. Then it
came, the attack. She didn't remember much except
that the darkness that was slowly consuming her
soul grew. The other Sailor Senshi ran to their
fallen leader's side. Luna cried and ran off, she
had to find Mamoru.
"Where am I?" Usagi looked around. She
didn't recognize the surroundings at first. She
looked at the dead garden, the smashed pillars,
the dry fountains, and then recognized her home,
the Moon Palace of the Silver Millennium.
Everything came to life and she felt a cool
breeze as the flowers slowly came to life.
Crystal clear water slowly bubbled forth from the
fountains. The pillars slowly reformed and Usagi
turned around. She was Princess Selenity of the
Moon Kingdom, and she was home. She ran to the
ever familiar balcony where she always waited for
her Prince. She would wait for him now.
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one waltz away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Mamoru was jolted awake when he felt something
land on his chest. He sat bolt upright and looked
down at a small black cat with a crescent moon in
the middle of her forehead. "Luna...Why are
you here?" Luna looked up at him. Her deep
sapphire blue eyes pierced him and they were full
of tears. His heart clenched. They look like
Usako's eyes.
"Mamoru-san, Usagi-chan is in great danger.
You have to go to her, you are the only one who
can save her." Luna pleaded, the tears that
were threatening to fall suddenly started. He
couldn't possibly go to her. She would surely die
if he did. Besides, what of her guardians the
other Sailor Senshi. They can protect her. But
Luna came to me, if this is a trick I will have
to break Usako's heart again...if it's not......
"What of the other Sailor Senshi? Can't they
save her?"
"Only you can save her Mamoru-san...She's
fallen into a deep sleep. No one can wake her.
Please, go to her." This suddenly jolted
Mamoru. It sounded like a familiar fairy tale.
Then he had to consider the fact that he was
pretty much living the life of a fairy tale
anyway. If this isn't a trick, Usako will
die...I can't risk it.
"Okay Luna; I'll Go." Mamoru rushed to
put some clothing on, grabbed his motorcycle
helmet and Luna jumped onto his shoulder as he
rushed out of the apartment to where he parked
his bike. He put the helmet on and carefully
situated Luna then tore out of the garage. He
sped down the road and jumped the bike over a
hill, when he hit the ground again, he was Tuxedo
Kamen. Hang in there Usako.
How can I not love you
I've been dreaming. That has to be it, the
names, the memory of Endymion leaving me...It was
just a horrid nightmare. Serenity sighed and
leaned against the rail on the balcony
overlooking her garden. It was strange; she
seemed to be the only one in the palace. But that
didn't bother her, not as long as her prince
still came. Endymion will come. He loves me,
he will come.
Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we've known all along
Tuxedo Kamen pulled his bike to a stop when he
reached the park. He removed his helmet and ran
toward Sailor Moon and the others. Luna leapt
down from the bike and ran with him. Sailor Mars
stood up and stepped between where Sailor Moon
lay and Tuxedo Kamen. "What are you doing
here? You don't care about her." He froze
and he felt a pang in his heart. Her words hurt
and they weren't true, though she thought they
were. Luna stepped forward.
"I brought him. Rei-chan, he's the only one
that can save her." Sailor Mars frowned.
Sailor Mercury looked up.
"Let him try Sailor Mars..." She
settled her blue eyes on Tuxedo Kamen. "If
he can't do anything...he'll pay." Her words
were as cold as her frozen ice attacks. Tuxedo
Kamen flinched again. He moved to Sailor Moon's
side and took her into his arms. Her jerked back
at first. Her flesh was so cold. Am I too
late? He gathered her to him again and his
tears fell. The other Sailor Senshi watched in
amazement.
"Usako, I'm so sorry." He tilted her
head gently up towards his and moved his head
closer slowly. His lips brushed hers and he
jerked back. So cold, so dark... Then he
kissed her and his surroundings vanished. He
found himself on the familiar balcony as Endymion
standing behind his princess.
"Serenity." He spoke softly. She lifted
her head and looked toward him.
"Endymion, I knew you would come." He
saw something surrounding her, some sort of
darkness. She ran toward him and he embraced her.
She smiled and her beautiful light flared. A
scream was heard as the darkness vanished. That
light, that beautiful light I almost caused to go
out.
"Yes, Serenity. I will
always come for you my love." He placed his
hand under her chin and turned her face upward.
She closed her eyes as he brought his lips to
meet her in a kiss. There was another flash and
Endymion was back at the park as Tuxedo Kamen.
Sailor Moon stirred in his arms. She slowly
opened her eyes." Tuxedo Kamen...You
came." Suddenly his outward appearance grew
cold. She's okay. She'll be okay. I can't let
her know I'm struggling with this. He passed
her off to Sailor Venus as the droid reappeared
and attacked the Sailor Senshi once more. Tuxedo
Kamen turned and attacked the droid. It was
this creature that attacked my beloved Usako.
He weakened the creature enough for Sailor Moon
to defeat it.
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one waltz away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Sailor Moon looked across from her. He was only a
few feet away. "Is everything okay now?
Tuxedo Kamen..."
"I came this time. But it doesn't change
anything between us Sailor Moon. It's still
over." She flinched visibly. Tuxedo Kamen
pulled a single rose out and spoke with a cold
edge to his voice. "Our love is like a rose,
beautiful in its bloom, but it cannot last
forever." Then he crushed the rose and
turned, walking away from her. She fell to her
knees loosing all strength as she watched him go
for a second time.
I still don't understand...Mamo-chan!
MAMO-CHAN! Her mind screamed because she
could not. She couldn't get enough breath to
scream. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she put
her arms out in front of her for support. She
stared at the broken rose petals in front of her
as her tears fell and her heart broke all over
again.
How can I not love you
When you are gone
Chiba Mamoru stood on the balcony at his
apartment. He held his helmet in his hands and
stared out into the night. Somewhere out there
his Usako was hurting, she was crying, and he
could not comfort her. "It's tearing me
apart as well Usako. Please...I'm doing this for
you...Please..." He spoke the words aloud as
he was choked by the tears that were threatening
to come all night. He just let them come. They
flowed freely down his cheeks and splashed
against the blue of his helmet. "How can I
not love you?" He wondered aloud and then
turned and entered his lonely apartment.
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