Funny, but true, facts about UCLA:
Fact 1  The UCLA offensive line is big enough to eat hay
        and dumb enough to enjoy it.

Fact 2  Did you hear about the football player who
        transferred from USC to UCLA? (He raised the 
        scholastic average of both schools.)

Fact 3  You can't spell these without UCLA:
        fUCkin' LAme
        UnCLeAn
        LAzy fUCker
        CompLetely UneducAted
        Low-pAid oCcUpation
        fUture weLfAre reCipient
        yoU're A littLe Cunt
        Limited CrAniUm
        pUff dAddy fan CLub
        BerkeLey's retArded CoUsin
Fact 4  I once knew a Bruin who studied five days to take
        a urine test.

Q:  What do fUCLA grads and tornados have in common?
A:  They always seem to end up in trailer parks.

Q:  Why can't bruins be doctors?
A:  You can't write prescriptions in crayon.

Q:  Why couldn't the bruins fill the Rose Bowl? 
A:  Because when their fans got to Pasadena and saw
    the sign that says "Rose Bowl, left," they all went
    home. 

Q:  What was the reaction of the Bruin who heard that most
    traffic accidents occur within seven miles of home?
A:  He moved.

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Westwood?
A: God couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.    

 
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