Saturday, August 16, 2003
Week 13:
I am so unhappy. I am seeing *slight* improvements on my cheeks, but my forehead is getting attacked now!! =( I got a couple of new ones there this week.
And this morning, I woke up with 3 zits near my chin. ARGH!! WHY??
And as for the improvements on my cheeks, it is really very slight!! I still look like crap...far, far, far away from being clear.
On a brighter note, my bro and cousin said that they could see some improvements. My cousin said that she can see the new smoother skin coming out after the large pimples leave. =(
very sad....I just don't wanna think about it anymore, but I can't help but run to the mirror every 5 minutes.
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Went to see my derma on Tues and he said that I'm his "worst patient." =(
He said that it's been 3 months and my acne is still active, while his other patients have only redness by now. Since I was afraid that he was going to up my dosage again, I told him that I've been noticing some improvements for the past 1 or 2 weeks. (I really don't want my dosage upped since I really dread the chance of getting another intial breakout from the higher dosage, and right about now, when I'm finally starting to notice some improvements, another intial breakout is NOT what I need, especially with school around the corner...)
Well, he said "no" --he's not going to do that; I guess it's because I'm only 100lbs.
He's going to keep me on 60mg of accutane for another 3 months, so my course will be 6 months long; the funny thing is: up until today, I didn't know how long my course was going to be.
He asked whether I lead a very stressful lifestyle. I told him "No, since it's the summer now and I have no school." But I know he's really asking me whether I sleep late or not. So I added "Well, I sleep late every night, but I also wake up late." He said that it's not the same thing; my pattern is messed up. "If you sleep at 11 or 12 and wake up 7 or 8 hours later, you're still good, but when you sleep very late and wake up very late, you'll still feel tired." In a way, I think he might be right, but it's hard to just change my sleeping pattern. But I will try, because he just might be right.
Come to think of it, I really think that he might be right. For the first 2 months on accutane, I was still partying like crazy. I went out almost every night and came home in the middle of the night. I went to clubs with lots of heat and people, so that probably made my acne and intial breakout worse. I mean, imagine the sweat, the people, and heat! that must all contribute to acne. And I got make up on my face and my sweaty hair hugging my face.
Well, my acne became so bad that I couldn't go anywhere anymore. I decided to stay home most of the time, and it's only during this period did I start to notice improvements. Who knows? Maybe it is just the medication kicking in, or maybe it is my calm lifestyle now. But one thing for sure: No more hanging out until acne clears.
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