From: Christine Fontaine
Date: Tue, 04 Mar 1997 21:07:52 -0500
Subject: USS CHESAPEAKE: Dinner Conversation
SD 90304.2101 (EST)
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Officers' Mess
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MD 01.21xx (sometime during the Officer's Dinner)
Lieutenant Commander Catherine Ledoux stared blankly at the plate in
front of her, wondering when it would be polite to make her escape.
Determined to keep a tight rein on her emotions, the vet had practically no
appetite for the delicious food that was laid out for the officers'
pleasure. Although the meal certainly looked appealing, enticing to the
palate, Catherine had not even sampled any of the fare. In an effort to
make it look as if she had been eating, the vet had pushed the food around on
her plate, making use of each utensil, but the food itself remained untouched.
Anne had completed her perusal of the dinner fare, and she was
ready to have more fun with her psychometric questions. Unwilling to
deal with the three command-line officers, and dismissing the Counselor
as an appropriate "subject," she descended on the unsuspecting CMO.
"Hello, Dr. Ledoux," she said quietly, not wanting to startle the
vet. Anne had already observed that the CMO was very unstable
emotionally at the moment... which made for a very interesting session
indeed, but also one in which she would have to be careful. No clamping
down hard tonight.
"Hello, Lieutenant." The vet looked at her with beautiful blue
eyes the color of sapphire stones. She made an apparent effort to smile,
but it never materialized beyond a slight tightening of the lips.
"I always find that social occasions leave me a bit lost,"
commented Anne, knowing that in Dr. Ledoux she had found another loner of
sorts. "What do you do in these situations, if I may ask, Doctor?"
Catherine's eyes opened a fraction wider at the question, surprised at
how forthright the Chief Science Officer seemed to be. Although Catherine
usually tried to play a part, to assume a role of quiet confidence during
social gatherings, she wasn't certain she was willing to divulge her little
'secret' to someone whom she had just met. Catherine loved the theatre, and
she loved to act, so slipping into another 'character' came easily to her,
although at that moment she was still too emotionally upset to be able to
play a part convincingly.
Realizing that Lieutenant Murray was awaiting a reply, Catherine
finally admitted, "usually I just stay with the one or two people that I
know." Images of Rich flashed through her mind and Catherine fought to keep
the tears at bay, swallowing around the tightness in her throat. At the
same time, she could feel her cheeks reddening.
"When I don't know anyone, I'm afraid I feel quite lost," Catherine
confessed, almost whispering, her voice so quiet, that Anne had to strain to
hear her response above the dinner chatter that was going on all around them.
Anne nodded, as always not judging. Catherine blinked a few times,
striving to keep her tears from escaping.
"I should imagine that your work involves a lot of difficult
decisions," suggested Anne casually. She knew that the CMO would think
of the comment as nothing more than inane chatter at worst. "What do you
do when you have to perform triage? How do you decide who gets the
resources first?"
Catherine, who had been reaching for her teacup, paused, a puzzled
frown crossing her face. Surely Doctor Murray was aware of standard
procedures? Brushing a loose curl off her forehead, Catherine formulated
her answer, endeavouring to keep from sounding like she was quoting from a
textbook.
"Basically," she stated, her voice still low and soft, "we rank the
patients according to the severity of their injuries. Those with
life-threatening injuries are tended to first, followed by those who are
seriously wounded. Minor injuries, that are quickly and easily taken care
of, are always seen to last, once the more critical patients have been
treated." Catherine paused, feeling a little foolish and her flush deepened
in response. Surely Lieutenant Murray had known this already?
Suppressing a sigh, the vet reached for her teacup. As she sipped
the hot beverage, Catherine wondered when she would be able to slip out
un-noticed. Perhaps she could make her excuses to Lieutenant Murray and be
on her way? Unfortunately, as Catherine lowered her cup, the Science
Officer presented her with yet another question.
"How about," said Anne, warming to the task, "this situation: you
have two individuals who have equal chances of recovery from an injury.
You have limited resources, and you can either use what you have to
completely heal one individual and lose the other, or you can use the
same materials to upgrade both individuals from critical to serious
condition. What would you do in that case?"
Surprisingly, Catherine did not have to think hard about the question.
"I would tend to both individuals, upgrading them from critical to serious."
Choosing one patient over another, when both had an equal chance for
recovery, was not a decision that Catherine ever wanted to have to make.
"That would give both patients the best chance," she added, not knowing why
she felt that she had to explain her answer, but somehow feeling that Anne's
next question would have been 'why?'.
Hoping that the Lieutenant wouldn't inflict any more questions upon
her, Catherine unconsciously picked up her fork, and absently began pushing
her food around on her plate again. Then, not really wanting to extend the
conversation, but nevertheless attempting to be polite, Catherine presented
Anne with a question of her own.
"Lieutenant Murray," she began timidly, "do you prefer to be
addressed as 'Lieutenant' or 'Doctor'? I myself prefer the title 'Doctor',"
the vet admitted, blushing. "I just can't imagine anyone ever addressing me
as 'Commander'..." Catherine trailed off, her cheeks flushed a delicate pink.
"I understand, Doctor," said Anne, smiling a little, "though I
prefer to be called 'Lieutenant' myself." Her smile was a bit wistful, as
if mourning the loss of something. "I can't consider myself a 'doctor'
unless I'm certified to work as a medical officer of some sort. A
Science Department qualification..." she shook her head slowly. "It's
just not the same thing, Dr. Ledoux. Enjoy serving in Sickbay, Doctor.
It's a marvellous place to be."
Catherine was a little surprised at Lieutenant Murray's response.
Most of the Ph.D.'s she had known *insisted* upon being addressed as
'Doctor' and considered it most disrespectful if someone omitted the
honourific. If the vet had not been so wrapped up in her own turmoil of
emotions, she would have also been puzzled by Lieutenant Murray's
statements, for it almost seemed as if the Science Officer yearned for
something more, or regretted a chance not taken in the past.
As it was, Catherine was fighting too hard to keep her unstable
emotions on an even keel, so Anne's slightly aberrant behaviour passed
un-noticed.
Anne, meanwhile, sipped her coffee and thought about her next question
carefully. She didn't want a repeat of Ensign Keyrin's unexpected reaction.
"What do you think," she said, finally deciding to go
philosophical, "is the meaning of life?"
Catherine was completely taken aback by the question. After all, they
had just met. Unable to conceal her shock, the vet's right hand strayed to
one of her long curls and she began twirling a golden strand between two of
her fingers. What was the meaning of life? Catherine hadn't the foggiest
idea. Certainly, she knew all of the dogma that the priests had spouted
throughout her childhood and adolescence, but beyond that traditional Roman
Catholic upbringing, Catherine hadn't really seriously considered the
meaning of life.
Blushing, the French Canadian didn't really know what to say.
Perhaps Lieutenant Murray would just leave it be? But, considering the
barrage of questions that she had already been subjected to, that
eventuality did not seem likely.
Gathering herself together, Catherine's mind finally scrambled
together a plausible answer. Shyly, timidly, she spoke in almost a whisper.
"I really think that's too complicated a question to have a simple answer,"
the vet replied, studiously examining the rearranged food upon her plate,
knowing that her response probably sounded like a cop-out. Unfortunately,
under the circumstances, it was the only reply the doctor could offer.
Anne didn't, however, demand an explanation. She merely smiled,
an understanding sort of smile that would normally have seemed
patronizing on anyone else.
"I think I know what you mean," said Anne quietly. "My family
and I are Christians -- Presbyterian -- and I was always taught that the
meaning of life is to glorify God... but, you know, that just doesn't do
it for me... It's... too abstract. I need to know something *now*,
understand what this is all about with what I can see, not what someone
in a long robe says I'm supposed to believe." As if for the first time,
she noticed Dr. Ledoux mashing up her food. She realized, with a guilty
start, that she was probably making the doctor even more uncomfortable
than before she had come along.
"I'm sorry to have trespassed on your time," she said, a bit
subdued. "I... I tend to ask rather... inopportune questions sometimes."
She smiled a bit nervously and beat a hasty retreat, a retreat the more
surprising because of her aggressive manner that had preceded it.
Catherine, although wrapped up in her own troubles, her own
problems, was nevertheless affected by someone else's distress. Feeling
that she had somehow caused Lieutenant Murray to feel uncomfortable,
Catherine felt compelled to remedy the situation, as best she could.
Accordingly, she re-approached the Chief Science Officer, albeit timidly.
With an attempt at a smile, her cheeks blushing a deep pink, Catherine
quietly spoke.
"I'm - I'm sorry Lieutenant Murray - Anne." Catherine's blush
deepened. Taking in a deep breath, she continued, "I've - I've just been
through a rough couple of days," she confessed, fighting to keep from
spilling any more tears. "I left the ship that I had served aboard for my
entire career," Catherine's voice caught, and she had to pause before
continuing. Visibly trembling now, she added, "I - I left many good friends
behind," at that, she couldn't stop the tears. "I'm sorry," Catherine
apologized, wiping away the tears. Blushing furiously in embarrassment at
her loss of emotional control, she choked out another "I'm sorry."
Anne felt a surge of sympathy sweep over her. She felt even
guiltier for tormenting the doctor as she had been doing. She found a
chair for each of them and suggested that they sit down. Gratefully, she
noticed that the others were too busy to notice them in the corner of the
Officers' Mess.
"It must have been very difficult for you to leave the ship,"
said Anne after a pause. "I... well, I guess I sort of know what that's
like. This is my second ship, too... I'd been on the USS BELLEROPHON for
nearly five years before transferring onto this one."
She looked down at her hands a moment, thinking about Jon Dameon and the
rest of her happy department. Then she looked back at Dr. Ledoux who, though
older than Anne, reminded the CSciO of one of her former charges in the
Science Department. "Do... do you want to talk about it?" she asked, nearly
biting off her tongue as the instinctive question came rushing out. "I mean...
you don't have to, of course, not at all; but... well, if you need someone just
to listen... or just to be around..."
She looked down at her lap again, silently cursing herself. Why
couldn't she just leave the poor woman alone? She wasn't sure...
"I just want you to know," she concluded quietly, "that I'm
here... and I'm sorry if I made you feel badly." She smiled a bit sadly.
"One of my instructors at the Academy told me I come across like a
Klingon Bird of Prey," she admitted. She sighed, standing up. "I guess
she was right."
She looked over at the CMO, wondering if she should re-iterate
her invitation. No, she decided; she would just take her time gathering
her things, and if the doctor wanted to talk to her, she would let her know.
Catherine took a few deep breaths, attempting to regain her
composure. Anne's offer touched the doctor, but she wasn't very good at
opening up to people, especially people she had just met. Sighing,
Catherine wasn't sure what to do. She just wasn't good with people.
Wiping away the traces of her tears, Catherine sincerely hoped that
she and
Anne could become friends. An introvert, and reticent by nature, Catherine
always had a hard time making friends, but somehow she felt that Anne was
one of those people whom she would eventually be able to call 'friend'. As
strange as Anne's questions had seemed to be, she had at least been
interested in talking to her, and had attempted to draw her out, engaging
the shy vet in conversation.
Not only that, Catherine felt that she owed Anne a bit of an
explanation, and a bit of an apology. After all, it wasn't the Science
Officer's questions that had upset the vet - she had been upset long before
Anne had come along.
Taking in yet another set of slow, deep breaths, Catherine dried her
eyes with the sleeve of her uniform. Gathering up her courage, she prepared
herself to approach Lieutenant Murray yet again. Exhaling a long, low
breath, Catherine closed her eyes briefly, mentally rehearsing what she was
going to say. Finally, she was ready. With every ounce of her courage held
fast, Catherine stood and walked over to Anne's side.
"Anne?" she essayed, tentatively, quietly, so that her words would
not travel beyond their ears. "You didn't upset me, and you didn't come
across like a 'Bird of Prey'." Catherine tried a smile, but at this point,
it was beyond her. "Thank you for your offer. If its still open, I'd like
to take you up on it some other time, but right now, I think it would be
best if I just went back to my quarters." Catherine blinked, forcibly
holding back the tears. "If you could give my apologies to the rest - "
she moved her head slightly, motioning towards the area where the other
Senior Officers were gathered. "I - I think I'll call it a night. But...
thank you..." she finished, blushing a rosy pink, before turning and
slipping out of the Mess Hall.
Respectfully submitted,
Chris Fontaine Masako Goto
LtCmdr Catherine Ledoux, DVM Lt Anne Murray, PhD
Chief Medical Officer Chief Science Officer
USS CHESAPEAKE USS CHESAPEAKE
<< NRPG >>
From Chris:
Joint Post! :) Brought to you by the combined efforts of Masako and myself
(Chris)! :) We had a lot of fun writing it, so I hope you also enjoying
reading it.
Take care everyone. :)
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