From: Masako Goto 
Date: Thu, 20 Mar 1997 10:27:12 -0500 (EST)
Subject: USS CHESAPEAKE: Recovery

NRPG: Apologies (again) if this comes twice... I don't know if it send 
the first time (I still haven't got the hang of AOL... and that's why I'm 
posting from here, BTW...)
SD 90320.1413
 
--------------
CSciO's Office
--------------
 
MD 3.1400
 
Anne walked into her office and did something that she had told herself 
she'd never do.  She locked the door.  If anyone wanted in, he'd just 
have to lump it... because she was in no mood to see anybody.
 
She could, of course, have gone to her quarters; but Anne didn't think 
that would be appropriate.  The shift had one more hour to run; and, 
besides, her staff expected her to be here.  In her office.  After what 
Counselor Tats-Marush had said to her, she
 wasn't about to abandon her post in this office for a little thing 
like... total emotional collapse.
 
Anne remembered well, of course, how to recover after a session with the 
Counselor; she had done it many times over the last five years.  But... 
this one was different.  Unlike Mallory, who had known everything about 
her, this new Counselor really didn't
 seem to have a clue... which would only make sense, since Anne hadn't 
told her anything.  Yet that made the Counselor's words bite into her 
psyche in a way she hadn't experienced in a very long time... the pain of 
injury caused by simple ignorance.  
 
Hoping that no one would need her services -- "mentoring" -- for a while, 
Anne bent over her computer console.  She looked, from all observers, as 
though she were engrossed in her work.
 
Which, of course, she wasn't.
 
"It's no use, Myron," she said, in belated reply to her cousin's 
challenge to *try* to get along with their "enemies." "She's just like 
Mallory was... except she's female.  She knows exactly how to get me to 
cry... and she hasn't spent years finding out 
all about me, either!  I can't stand her, Myron... the way she puts me 
down, the way she... oh, Myron!" She burst into tears.  She felt exactly 
as she did whenever she had met with Mallory.  Her head ached dully with 
the knowledge of an enemy unavidable o
n the ship, her body poised to flee from the scene which she had already 
left.  Anne wished that she could find something sharp with which to 
pierce her flesh... she could deal with sharp physical pain much better 
than she could deal with dull psychologic
al pain.  But she fought the urge.  Myron had informed her how stupid 
that was, to substitute one pain for another.  As he pointed out, the 
inside pain didn't really go away.  It still lurked someplace, and 
sticking herself full of needles was not going t
o help in the long run.
 
For a teenager with problems of his own, Myron was awfully good with 
advice, it seemed.
 
Slowly, the dull ache began to subside, and her muscles relaxed.  Anne 
automatically began to center her mind, knowing that, soon, she would be 
back to her old, stable, cold self.
 
It was a perfectly calm and non-emotional Anne Murray who emerged from 
the CSciO's Office five minutes later and announced to the assembled 
group in the main administrative center that the first protocol review 
session was about to begin.
 
Respectfully submitted,
 
Masako Goto
Lt. Anne Murray, Ph.D.
CSciO
USS CHESAPEAKE NCC-31813

James: I know that Anne isn't being entirely fair, but she gets like that 
with Counselors... I had an idea about *how* she came to hate them so 
much, but that is a story for another time...
Chris: Okay, Anne is going to quit stealing Catherine's personality 
now... I hope... (sorry about that, BTW... I was looking at her profile, 
and I was horrified to note some glaring similarities.  I think I like 
Catherine way too much!  )
Lynnaea: Well, if it isn't going to be a LOOOONNNGG night, then it might 
very well be a QUIET one... but probably not.  :)  Ten Forward seems to 
be getting a bit crowded now...
Takako: Well... it *really* is a good thing we're in dock.  I think 
Anne's spent a LOT of time outside her department during her shift today.
BTW, what do people DO after their shifts?  Just kinda wondering... from 
the perspective of someone who doesn't have any outside interests as such 
(and the one or two that she does have is failing to show its attraction 
to her at the moment for obvious reasons).
Amy: Welcome back from Spring Break!  :)
Melvin: I think Anne needs a little more practice being insane...
All: Thank you for bearing with me... but Anne wasn't going to do her 
Quickie Presto Vulcan Switch this time... it would have been too illogical.

Go to messages for March 1997 or Main Archive Page