From: Masako Goto
Date: Mon, 24 Mar 1997 17:25:28 -0500 (EST)
Subject: USS CHESAPEAKE: Moping? No...
NRPG: *Growl* I think I got mixed up with military time again... I can't
seem to teach my mind that 1500 = 3 PM. So the post titled "When in
Doubt, Press 7" should have occurred at 3.1715, *not* 3.1515. My
apologies for any inconvenience and/or confusion... HERE is what was
going on with Murray at 3.1515...
SD 90324.2039
----------------
Main Science Lab
----------------
MD 3.1500
Anne looked at her group critically. The Physical Science staff
didn't look all that much more competent than their student counterparts.
"I might as well give you this as well," she said, passing out
the Emergency Protocol Handbook to each of them. "And test you on it,"
she added meaningfully. "It's only fair that you should know the
procedures inside out, just like the students."
She fixed them with her commanding look.
"Let's hop to it, then. Physical Sciences headquarters, please.
I want to run some exercises."
-------------------------------------
Physical Sciences Department Main Lab
-------------------------------------
The group arrived in single file, just as Anne had expected. She
had asked the Biological Sciences staff to act as "extras", since she
didn't want the students to re-learn bad habits. They were seated at
their various stations, looking suitably incompetent.
Unfortunately, Anne knew all too well that they *were*, if only
because they were outside of their field. She shook her head. She
couldn't understand the modern trend toward overspecialization. This
entire department seemed to be nothing but a bunch of specialists. If
only they'd leave specialization to the Specialists...
"All right, everybody, stations, please," she said to the
Physical Sciences staff. She gave them some astrophysics problems to
work out and began to question each crew member individually.
After fifteen minutes, she gave up.
"People," she said, "you are *all* going to need to go through
Authority Systems refresher courses again. I'll have Mr. Fielding set up
the first session for you here tonight at 1900 hours... be here,
please." She shook her head in exasperation. "There is something you
should keep in mind when you're on a mission," she said. "You do *not*
have the time, in an emergency, to sit down with every single frightened
student and carefully explain what is goiong on. You make sure they know
what's what *before* anything bad happens. You most definitely do not
trust your most sensitive instruments to the least experienced students
in your department, no matter what the situation, and you do *not* leave
the fire extinguisher unattended... especially in *this* department." She
sighed heavily. "If there is *one* person who could tell me what to do
when the oxygen dispenser breaks down and the students are running loose
in the lab, please tell me now."
There was an ominous silence.
"Do you mean to tell me," said Anne softly, "that nobody in this
entire room knows what to do in that situation?"
Again, silence filled the room.
"All right." Anne's posture suddenly shot straight up, and she
took advantage of every single one of her 72 inches to stand over the PSD
staff. "Please read *and memorize* your protocol handbooks by tomorrow
morning at 0900. This level of... ignorance cannot go on. The students
depend on you. The entire *department* and the *universe* depends on
your ability to understand *and execute* your *duty*."
"Sir?"
"Yes, Mr. Oxmyx!" Anne snapped.
"With respect, sir, I doubt that we'd inflict any harm on the
universe as a whole should we be incom..."
Anne pulled at her curls savagely.
"Everyone," she said, her voice suddenly calm. It didn't sound
at all natural... because it wasn't. "You will treat your job as
though the proper execution of your duties *does* impact the integrity and
stability of this universe. Anything less, and you will probably wind up
doing something extremely stupid... not because you are stupid, but
because we are all fallible, and this department, the entire science
department, seems to have more than its share of such fallibility." She
took her hand out of her curls with some difficulty, then looked around.
"Dismissed," she said.
"Sir..." Oxmyx approached Anne.
"*What*, Mr. Oxmyx?" demanded Anne, her patience beginning to
snap. She really did *need* a good night's sleep to be a pleasant person.
"Your hair is standing up on one side, sir," said the Iotian
bluntly. "It looks rather amusing, but I thought you should take care of
it before any of Lt. Serak's staff saw it."
"Oh... thank you for your concern, Mr. Oxmyx."
Anne patted down her curls quickly, stepping out into the
corridor. Denise Oxmyx was right; she had to preserve some semblance of
authority around the all-Vulcan Mathematics and Logic Division; they had
absolutely no sense of humor and had too much sense of appropriate
behavior and appearance.
--------------
CSciO's Office
--------------
MD 3.1545
If Tchaikovsky could have heard over light-years' worth of distance, he
would probably have spun in his grave. Anne's office was filled to
capacity with the loudest rendition of _Snowflake Waltz_ that anyone had
ever heard, including herself.
Anne was actually hoping that she could somehow get into the
swing of things, but the total and hopeless incompetence of her staff and
students was wearing her down. She soaked up the unnaturally loud melody
of the chorus and grimaced. Perhaps she'd do better to play something else.
"Computer!" she snapped, "play _Winter Storm Etude_ by Chopin,
John Browning, volume level 20D, repeat until termination command!"
She could still have her winter landscape, but at least this one
won't hurt her ears quite so much. Piano music was best for relaxing,
anyway... Myron liked to play it, and she enjoyed playing it with him, if
very badly.
The music was so loud that she didn't hear the chime at her door;
she was looking intently at the imaginary snowflakes in the air, so she
didn't notice the figure peering through the transparent wall, either.
Suddenly, her door opened; and Derek Fielding was standing there,
his expression a cross between amazement, pain, and concern.
"CAN YOU TURN THIS DOWN?" he shouted over the din. "I CAN'T HEAR
MYSELF THINK!"
"Computer, terminate!" ordered Anne.
The ensuing silence was almost painful in its sudden arrival.
"Anne," said Fielding, closing the door and advancing on his
superior officer, "I came to see you about something... but that can wait."
"Come on in," said Anne sarcastically.
"I did signal," Fielding said patiently, "only you couldn't
hear... because of the... uh..."
"Yes, of course." Anne raised her chin to point at the chair
across the desk from her own. "Please have a seat, if you so desire."
"Thank you." Fielding sat down. "Anne, what in the world were
you doing? We could've had a Red Alert and you wouldn't have heard a
single thing!"
"Please spare me your estimation of my incompetence and
irresponsibility," said Anne coldly.
"Anne, I wasn't..."
"Sorry. I'm sorry, it's been a long day."
"You haven't been looking too well since..."
"Never mind, Derek. Let's just say that *everybody* knows how
incompetent my entire staff is... and that staff includes me."
"You're calling *me* incompetent?" Fielding asked, but his tone
was light. He was obviously trying to lift Anne's mood.
"I don't know," said Anne, tossing a PADD across the room. It
landed with a loud thump on the floor next to a shelf. "Zero points,"
she added.
"Hey, you stop that," said Fielding nervously, taking hold of both of
Anne's arms. "You could break something, you know."
"Derek..." Anne looked down meaningfully at his hands. "Let go
this instant, or..."
"Okay, okay... just don't throw things, all right? Whatever
happened, it's not worth it."
For a minute, Anne was tempted to explain to Derek about her
session with Counselor Tats-Marush and the game of golf that it had
involved; then she decided that it would be a tale too convoluted to tell.
"All right, Derek, I promise."
"Good... so... what's going on with you?"
"Nothing you need to concern yourself with," said Anne smoothly.
"Actually, the conduct of the Physical Sciences Division is enough to
drive anyone mad. I'm just trying to recover from their influence."
"Well... I hope you're ready for the Biological Sciences group."
"Them? Oh... I think I'll reschedule them for tomorrow," said
Anne distractedly. "I have to write up the review session exit exam for
the Physical Science Division by tomorrow morning," she offered as
explanation. "Meanwhile... the clock ticks on, Derek. I'd say we can
both get out of here."
"You're the boss," said Fielding, leading them out of the room.
"Oh... Derek?"
"Yes?"
"Please set up and conduct the Authority Systems refresher course
for our Physical Sciences wimps at 1900 hours in their lab, will you?"
"Wimps?"
"Yes, the staff." Anne smiled tightly. "They are the wimpiest
bunch of adults I have ever met in my life."
"'The students must be told all the details of the situation as
soon as communication is established,'" Anne murmured under her breath as
she hurried to her quarters. "I *don't* think so," she added, addressing
the absent wimp in question. "First you tell them to stay put, you take
care of whatever problems you can fix, *then* you tell them what's going on."
Respectfully submitted,
Masako Goto
Lt. Anne Murray, Ph.D.
CSciO
USS CHESAPEAKE NCC-31813
Agaain, apologies for the MD mix-up. Anne's off to her quarters to do
some typing up and such... maybe with a musical selection or two to light
the way.
Chris: If any kid in my department heads your way after 1600 or so, you'd
best let Derek Fielding know... since Anne's kind of busy and isn't
in a good humor at present. She might be practicing basketball,
but she just might decide to practice archery with the communicator...
Gosh, I thought I made a mess before... this was even *worse*!
James: I have a horrible feeling I forgot to tell you this, but I
actually *enjoy* watching golf, and I would probably play it, too,
if 1. I weren't visually impaired and 2. I had easy access to a golf
course. :) I don't know if Anne will take it up, though it's
very tempting... and yes, she's practicing throwing things so she
could be good at *something* in sports...
Amy: Not to put you on the spot or anything, but are you okay? Are you
alive? Are you just extremely busy? Also, has Murray been too
weird/unstable recently? Well... I'll see what I can do about that...
My characters seem to run away from me... :< She should perk up
once her department gets settled and the mission proper starts...
Melvin: Apologies to Ensign Sereh for breaking her well-planned
schedule... but Anne can deal with incompetence only so much at one
time. She's not sure *what* to make of the Ensign, BTW.
Takako: Please let me know if you want me to include
reporting-to-CINCGREEN conjecture times on my timeline. Thanks!
Also, please note the introduction of Josef Bovina and John
Brook, both students, in the Physical Sciences division.
Denis Oxmyx is the chairman of their division as well, just in
case I forgot to mention her earlier.
Lynnaea: Yup, Anne likes loud music, too... though of a different kind.
:) How's Torr doing? Oh... may I borrow Stewart sometime?
Fabian, Michael, Naomi: Welcome aboard!
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Thought for the day: Use your brain. It works.
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