From: Christine Fontaine 
Date: Wed, 02 Apr 1997 22:35:32 -0500
Subject: USS CHESAPEAKE: Thoughts

SD 90402.2233
Scene: USS CHESAPEAKE: Sickbay: CMO's Office
MD 04.1100
Lieutenant Commander Catherine Ledoux closed her eyes, feeling tired, worn 
and frustrated.  Sighing, Catherine ran her long, elegant fingers through 
her hair before propping her elbows on her desk and cupping her chin in her 
hands.  
So far, the morning had been a complete and total disaster.  Unable to 
concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time, Catherine stared at all 
the work she had left to do, a blank look on her face.  Why was she having 
so much trouble concentrating?  Why was her attention span so short?  
Growing more and more frustrated by the minute, the vet finally decided that 
she would not be able to accomplish anything useful that morning.
Of course, that didn't keep her from trying.
Catherine released another sigh, willing her tense muscles to relax.  
Reaching back to massage her neck, the vet could sense the tightness across 
her shoulders, could feel the knots cramping her neck.  Something was 
bothering the doctor, but she didn't want to dwell on it.
Brushing a loose curl off her forehead, Catherine had to admit that she was 
tired.  The few days of rest and relaxation that she had indulged in since 
the end of the REGENT's last mission were insufficient to repair the damage 
that had been inflicted on her body during that mission.  So, it was only 
natural that her body was complaining, wasn't it?
After tucking a stray curl behind one ear, Catherine's fingers strayed to 
the pips, two solid and one hollow, that adorned her uniform collar.  
Another sigh escaped the vet.  She didn't feel worthy of those pips.  
Shaking her head, her golden curls tumbling loose across her back, Catherine 
had to admit that she had been totally useless during the REGENT's last 
mission.  After all, what good was a doctor who couldn't do her job?  When 
she hadn't been unconscious she had been too weak to be of use to anyone, 
after wearing herself down to the bone in a vain attempt to heal the ship's 
counsellor.  That failure still stung.  Despite her best efforts, she hadn't 
been able to help Counsellor Johan.  Even though she knew that it wasn't her 
fault, deep inside, there was still a tiny voice whispering *you're only a 
vet, you shouldn't be Chief Medical Officer aboard a starship*.  That voice 
was terribly annoying.
Granted, she was *trying* to remedy that situation.  Now that she had 
permission from Commander Brennan, the vet was going to continue her studies 
- as soon as she had the time.  Catherine wanted to obtain her medical 
degree, and those ever-so-precious letters "M.D." more than anything.  
*Well, almost more than anything,* the vet had to admit to herself, a lone 
tear tracing a salty track down her cheek.  
Disciplining herself, Catherine tried to refocus her thoughts on the work 
she had left to do.  Doctor Ledoux had plenty to keep her occupied for the 
next little while, as she couldn't afford to waste any time.  Sickbay, 
although brand new and equipped with many of the latest medical innovations, 
was still not totally organized.  Supply containers were still strewn about 
and various pieces of medical equipment were scattered like so much flotsam, 
waiting for someone to put all the right pieces in all the right places.  
Medicines and drugs still needed to be sorted and catalogued.  Rosters and 
schedules needed to be finalized.  The emergency drills needed to be 
organized, which reminded Catherine to book the holodecks for the times when 
she wished to use them.  On top of all of her regular duties, she also 
wanted to find the time to continue with her medical studies.
Abruptly, Catherine rose from her desk; all of this wool-gathering wasn't 
getting her anywhere.  Perhaps she needed a break.  A break?  From what?  
Catherine shook her head, knowing that she had accomplished absolutely 
*nothing* that morning.  Then she realized that sitting at her desk, 
complaining about her poor concentration and fuzzy thinking wasn't going to 
get her anywhere.
Tucking a loose curl behind one ear, Catherine made up her mind.  A change 
of scenery was in order.  Promising herself that she would be back by noon, 
the vet knew that Doctor Donne could handle anything that might arise during 
her absence.
Without a destination in mind, Catherine headed out.  Wherever she ended up, 
it was certain to be better than sitting around in her office.

Respectfully submitted,
Chris Fontaine
LCDR Catherine Ledoux, DVM
Chief Medical Officer
USS CHESAPEAKE

<< NRPG >>
Don't worry, Catherine's mood will improve...  I daresay the vacation that
the counsellor ordered will help in that respect.  However, at the moment,
she is not terribly happy.  That will improve, I promise...
Chris - taking a study break...

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